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Shoot - I forgot to mention that my abuser used to come in that gate after he got off of second shift. That is kind of an important detail. :)

Hi there. For a few months now I have been hearing a noise that sounds like someone is opening the gate near my bedroom window to enter the driveway/garage. I have looked out the window and even gone outside to check. Nothing. No wind - nothing. I have awnings on my windows and just assumed...

This is exactly what my T says I need to do. It's a goal to find my anger and learn how to embrace it.

Oh my gosh tealeaf - that is exactly what I'm working through. One of the themes through my therapy was understanding that I was raised in a home where my feelings didn't matter. I was never allowed to be angry. My parents didn't have any trouble being angry, but I have no capacity for anger...

This has been a fabulous and reassuring discussion. Thank you all so much! Yesterday's session was very emotional. Lots of crying during emdr as childhood memories came up. Towards the end everything kind of faded away and I felt numb. I told him I had a lump in my throat and he always...

Thanks for sharing that piratelady. I get really focused on getting an end result from the trauma therapy and forget that he's also here to help me through the present. I need to relax and take the pressure off of myself. I get in a hurry to be "done with this" and move on in my new happy...

Thank you so much for the response. You are right. I'm feeling really foggy today. I hate those kind of days and weeks.

Hi everyone. I'm struggling a bit on my journey. Had a bad panic attack a couple of weeks ago at work and I feel like it has set me back. My T and I have spent two sessions now just talking about the fallout at work and trying to stabilize. I started Zoloft because of the incident and I'm...

My T suggested that since our jobs do not directly overlap that I keep moving when she is in the area. If she comes to my office say "Hey I was just on my way to wherever - let's walk and talk." The idea is to not let her stand in my office and say anything. There is usually very little...

Hi everyone. The situation has died down for now. The coworker is a woman and she is a very strong, opinionated person who thinks the right thing to do is force people to agree with her. The event was a trigger in that she came into my office, closed the door and stood up the whole time she...

Hi all. Have any of you ever had to work people who trigger you? I am experiencing this now and on Friday it reached critical mass. I had the worst panic attack I've ever had in my life. I work in a small office. How can this be avoided without bringing unwanted attention to my issues. I...

Hello everyone. I just need to get this out there because I don't see my T until Monday. :) I'm working through emdr for traumas involving a relationship I had as a young adult that involved emotional and sexual abuse. I've been doing really well and starting to live more and more in the...

Things are going much better. My T and I have been working on keeping me from dissociating. He explained that when we are doing emdr my blood vessels in my brain are swelling from the workout they are getting and if I dissociate completely the blood vessels shrink too quickly and that's...

Thank you Maddog. I have felt very proud today and have enjoyed sharing the news with my close friends who are with me in this process. Question: For anyone who has been through emdr. Is it possible that this change I feel right now is permanent? I mean, it's so strange how after 8 months...

Gizmo, thanks for your encouragement. Nadia, I'm really sorry about your dad. It's hard to lose your parents. At any age. It's a strange thing. When my mom goes it's like I'm out there all alone. I've been taking care of myself for 25 years now, but the loss feels overwhelming sometimes...

Update on crisis. My mom is still struggling to live. She doesn't feel well at all but they are putting her through the physical therapy paces. The doctors don't expect her to live much longer than 6 months to a year. Saw my T today and talked to him about how I was able to actually feel...

I have not had any that severe but I have had them and totally understand how overwhelming they are. My T has not offered much "magical" help on that front other than to try to ground myself. The problem for me is the "ick" just hangs with me sometimes for several days. I'm really sorry you...

Thanks to everyone for the advise and support. They released my mom from the hospital yesterday so she is back at the nursing home. I'm not certain what the prognosis is as my brother is POA and he has been on vacation through all of this (poor guy). I visited her last night and she seemed...

Hi everyone. I've been working with emdr for past multiple traumas for about 7 months now. Last week my mom was admitted to the hospital (she has been in a nursing home for 2 years). The prognosis is not good - she has an infection in her blood and blood clots in her legs and lungs. Last...

This week my T explained to me that there was trauma that happened to me when I was a little girl and also as a young adult. Now, as an adult, I need to help those parts of me heal. I understand this process, but it feels so weird. This week he asked me to let the little girl tell me how it...

I am also sad that it's still hitting me this hard. But, I have been "coping" this way since I was a little girl. So much of this is so buried that it's just going to take some time to peel back the layers. I do have moment/days/weeks of relief now. Days when I think - o yeah - this is how...

Has anyone been successful at stopping this process? Apparently I have been doing this since I was a child when my mother would spank me and tell me not to cry. What's a 4-year-old supposed to do? I'm in therapy for multiple traumas and sometimes I dissociate during emdr. My therapist makes...

Hi Shellbell. I have been doing emdr for about 6 months now. When I first went to my T I was depressed and suffering from anxiety. Turns out I have multiple traumas as well. Some from childhood, some from when I was a young adult. emdr is hard. I joke that I have a reversible t-shirt - on...

I had one of my sci-fi meets childhood meets spider dreams. I was a little girl (never dreamed of myself as a child before) and I was clinging to my bedroom door frame because an invisible force (like the wind, but evil) was blowing me perpendicular to the floor. I couldn't move. Then there...

Update: I saw my T today and we had a lengthy discussion about how I felt when I left last session. He was great about explaining to me what happened and suggested that if I feel that disconnect again (since I could tell him when it happened last time) I need to let him know and we will stop...