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Gosh, I wrote a post that was about not wanting to leave the house just last week. We are not alone, even if we're inside our houses by ourselves.

I can relate to these feelings too. Last time I saw my sister she physically attacked me, and left me pretty beat up. Before the attack, she told me she'd been in contact via letters with my father with whom we were both estranged and "that house is worth a lot of money". Flash forward years...

@Smile, so sorry about your day. Hope tomorrow is better, or if not tomorrow, the next day, or the next day, and that at some point more of them start being better.

Do you have the resources (financial or personal) to find a good lawyer to talk to? Maybe you could start with talking to a lawyer rather than the police. The lawyer could give you a sense of what to expect. Like @Springer80 and @scout86 I think there is social value in pressing charges even if...

@Hashi, Of course, it's okay to ask. I wasn't clear, because I'm not sure about how to proceed. Your question is a good one for me to think about. I've had a rough few years, because I've had a lot of physical health issues - not just the immune thing but also endometriosis and fertility...

Thanks for your comments everyone. It's good to be reminded of the mind/body connection, especially related to trauma. It's not a concept that is easy for those raised in Western culture. No matter how much my experiences highlight this for me, I forget. When I first came to therapy at age 20, I...

I don't think of myself as someone who does this. I'm normally quite happy to go out, to meet friends, to do stuff, to meet new people. But I'm realizing that it's a problem for me. I do it often when I'm dealing with memories, which I've been the past couple of days. I don't feel safe going out...

I didn't say this yet in my posts about my Model Mugging experience, but there was also something profoundly affirming for me about going through that class. The instructors not only gave me permission to defend myself with whatever methods that required, they encouraged it. And the other women...

This would make a good thread on its own.

"I love you. Go away." There's even a book about this kind of behavior.

Healing Reins, I honestly think you're being too hard on yourself. It's totally normal for *everybody* to freeze up during an attack, especially when you're also dealing with the shock of being hurt by someone you already have a relationship with. That's why in Model Mugging, we 1) learned...

You're very brave, Lionheart. I know so many men who will die with violence and despair in their hearts because they're too afraid to feel their vulnerability and sadness. This too shall pass.

Thanks everyone for your responses. I'm not surprised by them. It seems EMDR is a powerful technology - and like all technologies, its use and outcome will vary. EMDR is not as bad for me as some of you describe. I've actually been really grateful for it, though. I worked through a memory a...

redfox, do you come from a dysfunctional family, alcoholic or otherwise? If you identify as codependent like you did when you say you need to learn how to stop trying to helping people, it's a sign that you did. I was extremely codependent. What really broke that was gong to Al Anon. Even though...

I think a lot of these comments speak to awareness - of a situation, of our surroundings, of our own state of mind, of our own vulnerability. I mentioned Model Mugging. The first thing you learn at Model Mugging is awareness of what makes a bad situation, so that you can avoid it. It gives you...

I hate EMDR. While going through EMDR, I have body memories, strong emotions, bad dreams, an exhaustion that sometimes feels like depression, an inability to concentrate, and I struggle with dissociation, self-isolation, and leaving the house. All this, despite very strong resources. I do feel...

These rapes were not your fault. f*ck anyone who ever even implies that they were. I'd suggest that you take a Model Mugging class. May there never be a next time, but if a situation comes up, you will know how to protect yourself. This was one of the best things I did for myself as a young...

Like NovemberStar, I too thought of the 12 Step maxim about staying out of relationships during the early work of recovery. Redfoxtrot, maybe you could set a timeline for yourself and stick to it. I've found that real, supportive intimacy with close friends is a good template for a...

I have a good life now. It's the result of a lot of work in therapy and life. Yet, I can't accept that it makes up for all of the pain that I've suffered. I thought about suicide during the worst of the abuse and after. Sometimes when the memories rear their vicious heads and I'm in pain, I...

I just moved to a new city, so I'm feeling very aware of my need for connection with people and my capacity for loneliness. I did this once before, so it's a familiar situation in some ways. I remember from before feeling better just being around people, in any capacity. They don't have to...

Do you like animals? A cat or dog can be a great friend.

It's good you're getting help. Don't kill yourself. That is the most important thing right now. You can't know what the future will bring.

It's worth noting that the resources that are available to trauma practicioners today are superior to what was available when these guys and gals (in the case of nurses) came home from war. First, they exist! Bessel van der Kolk, pioneer in the field, only started his research in the 1980s with...

That sounds good, notsowild. I'm amazed by how many resources are available now to trauma survivors compared to when I started this work two decades ago. Sounds like you're making good use of the resources available too. It's very proactive of you to bring up your concerns. Good luck!

Please let us know what happens. Thinking of you....