Search results

@TexCat, I am currently coming to the end of a block of EMDR. I can certainly share how it has been for me, but as so many people here say, it is different for everyone and can really vary from person to person. One of the most important things my T said at me at the beginning is that there is...

It is an odd relationship I have with it. Part of me really enjoys using make up, hair styling and fashion, I find it fun, creative and a way to express myself but as I said before it is also a crutch and a mask that I want to hide behind. I probably worry far too much what people will think...

I always plan what I wear and give myself more time to get ready on T days, I almost treat it like a job interview. I'll always do my hair, wear more make up and try to make myself look smart and put together. I am sure it is some way to keep feeling in control, I hope she knows it is not a...

I always wear a necklace that I use for grounding. It has a long rectangular pendant that I like the feel and weight of in my hand, it is hard, sharp and normally warm from my body heat. I got it at the beginning of my therapy sessions and had it engraved with a message that is encouraging to...

I do this all the time, it is symptomatic of PTSD. Try and accept first that your memories are correct and the rest will follow.

That is exactly it. I fight the word abuse because I don't want to admit I was abused. The approach my T has had is to try not to get caught up in the words while we are early on in processing this, as we get further along those words might start to feel less scary and maybe more applicable...

@mrsmegan, there is a lot of great advice here. They are hard words. I relate, I can feel very uncomfortable around those words and don't know which apply to me. I am really particular around the words I use and my T has also mentioned she feels she needs to be careful with her language...

Please do, it's what my T keeps saying. There are no right or wrong ways here just follow what's happening, notice don't judge. Your brain know what to do it just need some guiding and that is what they are for, you are in good hands. Keep with it, you are dong it all right.

Hi @Fayne Jane, I am glad you are back seeing your T today, feedback to them everything you have been feeling since. I am coming towards the end of a block of EMDR and from my experience there is no right or wrong way to feel afterwards, it is other different but normally I would say it falls...

Hi @hermione, welcome to the site, you will certainly find a lot of help, support and understanding here. It has helped me enormously. I can only really echo what the others have said, you are not alone. Also you can't do this wrong, you can use these pages however it suits for you, share...

@Rosie11, absolutely relate to this, I have really sketchy memories, there are only a couple I remember clearly and even with these I don't know how they started or how they ended, so much is missing. I can even remember the time in my mid teens that I decided I didn't want to remember any...

That is awful, so often things are so poorly handled and it can leave such a mess. I often think/thought about it from that way too, as awful as it felt to not be believed I was also grateful no one intervened, that nothing happened. I felt so out of control I was glad I still had one part of...

I had a teacher notice something was wrong. I told her some of what was going on. Suddenly I was in a meeting with the head of year, then my mum was there, then we were all with the deputy head. It was decided I was over exaggerating. I wasn't there when they came to that conclusion so have...

That is really insightful, thank you @Anarchy. It makes perfect sense of course just tough to read, tough to really think of myself back then, in those moments. You are right in that this is only the beginning. Hopefully once I can bear the memories a little better I can try to challenge some...

@gizmo It is really great to hear that EMDR has had such a positive impact, I really hope it does for me too. I don't know if I would say I feel ready for it, I am still constantly down playing and denying what happened. What feels difficult is that all the therapy I am having is going against...

Blimey, it is so frustrating isn't it. I am sorry you are having to battle this as well as the issues that got you there in the first place. It is a bit of a lottery isn't it to what your borough/county provide. From my understanding, although it does differ it is always relatively short term...

For me it is a combination of it all, which is I guess why it feels so confusing, but yes a part of it is definitely feeling like I deserve it. Having shared a lot of details with my T yesterday and I am still waiting for what feels like the inevitable fallout. As that doesn't seem to be...

Hi @katz, I think the validation is really important isn't it. It like it is permission to allow your to feel. I really struggle with feelings, I thought I had no emotions around some of my memories, but I think I am starting to realise they are there, I just don't know how to identify them...

Noise is a big stressor for me. Not necessarily loud noises but eating, chewing, sniffing, breathing, nail biting (useless I'm doing it, to myself of course!), typing, conflicting sounds like the tv and music on at the same time, people talking too loudly, all those kind of repetitive sounds...

@Anarchy That is an interesting way to look at it, maybe it is deeply ingrained like that. It is hard to really understand the feeling I have but I think it does come from a self punishing angle. I am not sure if it is something I can articulate with my T, my dialogue with her isn't that open...

Yes, that's it. I don't know if it's wrong to say but I completely get this. I know it's not ideal but this feels so true. Feels weird wanting it to do that but at least I know it's not just me!

Thanks @illusionist that is the reason I am there too. It does feels daunting to know it is doing to be painful but I think like you I know it all needs to come out, I can't keep it all inside, it's doing too much damage. Just not sure how healthy it is to really want to feel that pain, it...

I wrote my T a card when I finished a course of CBT last year. For me it was a way to really express how grateful I was. That could well be different for you as I only saw mine for a couple of months, but I could be fairly withheld in the sessions so I was glad to the opportunity to be able to...

It's odd isn't it. I can't decide if I want or expect it to feel like some kind of punishment or if I want it to hurt as some kind of validation that it was traumatic. Looking at past behaviours I think the second makes the most sense, I think I want something tangible to see and feel...

I am just starting on a course of EMDR and have been given all the warnings that it is going to be difficult and challenging and it will probably get worse before it gets better. Is it strange or wrong that I want it to be hard, I want it to hurt? Does anyone else have this or understand what...