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@keifer Based on your profile pic and the status it seems that you loved your dog very much. I would never suggest a replacement for him, however, have you ever considered trying to get a PTSD guide dog? I was just reading about them the other day and it may reach you in a way that other things...

@Tympre I love the tidal wave analogy. I keep reading it over and over again because it makes so much sense. Right now I'm at the point where I feel like I'm drowning. I can feel the water over my head and entering my lungs and I'm gasping for air. Which is how I wake up from most of my nightmares.

Thank you all for your support. Writing about these things are helpful for me. This forum has been helpful for me and each time I post or respond I am amazed that someone will take the time to read what I've written and give value to it and take their time to respond even if its just to say they...

I feel SO alone and helpless and hopeless. I feel like I am close to giving up, but there is this small part of me that is trying so hard to keep the rest of me from caving in. That part is becoming weaker and weaker because my world is closing in on me. I am so afraid I won't be here soon. I am...

This made SO much sense!!!! Thank you.

I checked Other and that I don't have a sense of belonging. There is one friend I have who is able to get through to me and who I am able to feel. Everyone else seems a million miles away and that I am literally just hovering over them and not a part of this life. I don't feel like I belong...

@Ryn have you talked to your friend yet? I am curious as to the outcome. I have a friend and situation very similar except that I see him at work M-F and talk to him every day. I have been trying to keep things to myself now since he is having some stress in his life himself and I don't want to...

Not sure if I'm allowed to post links, sorry if its breaking a rule. But this is a positive talk and I felt it needed to be shared here.

I am not having a good day. There are so many things about myself now that I don't understand and don't recognize and all are negative. I don't like who I am at all. Here is a new one I found today. I cannot accept any kind of change in plans or anything that is remotely something i don't like...

@Kas_Can_Fly I can assure you that no one here, especially me, thinks you are creating drama or attention seeking. I completely understand how you feel because I feel the same way today. I made a promise to my best friend that I will see him on Monday and make it through the weekend, however...

I wish this wasn't so incredibly horrible for all of us. Seems like the PTSD almost has a life of its own. It knows that we need people and support, but makes us push people away or feel insecure and don't believe the people that do show up for us. All I want to do is isolate, but at the same...

I love the idea @Ms Spock and you are very caring to come up with it. How would it get started? Would it be for this community here or were you speaking of your community where you live?

@macca Thank you so much for deciding to post that. I was in the same situation, but my husband is bipolar. He is really good sometimes, but there are a lot more when he still doesn't get it and its all about him and what I'M doing to HIM. I am not, by any means suggesting this to you, but I...

Thinking about it, I've always dreaded the nighttime, but I have no idea why. Now with PTSD in full force, it is the absolute worst for me. I dread evening, just knowing what I have to endure for the night and that while mostly everyone else sleeps I will be up in agony and feeling like I've...

@Firelamb67 I am also starting EMDR soon. I have a new therapist and that is her "specialty". I am nervous about it. You would think that with all this pain I am going through that I would want to get better, but I think it is the work involved that is making me so hesitant and making me feel...

I go back and read these posts too trying to find hope. Maybe it is the holidays coming up, maybe I am just getting worse, I don't know, but I am finding it hard to even string complete thoughts together. I make stupid mistakes, I can't make decisions, my brain actually burns from the activity...

@Junebug those were words of wisdom, thank you! :hug:

@Bluerose I appreciate you replying. I know about it being habit forming because I haven't been doing it long at all and I can already see the progression. It makes me sad and ashamed that I've come to this. I still don't know what has happened or why this is all happening to me. I mean I know...

I agree it could be a bad habit and not the best "coping skill", but some days its all that gets me through. I also use self harm now, which again is not good, but they are both better than the real thing. I don't know how to stop, there is so much pain!

Solara, I felt so strange "liking" your post, but I identified so much with the feelings. I don't want you to do anything to end your life but I understand not wanting to go on and be in pain. I don't have answers, just understanding and empathy. Empathy is, in my opinion is not pity or the...

Once you realize that self harm provides a release, how can you stop? It seems to work, but I know logically its self destructive.

Having trouble with this now! My best friend, person I am in love with and my carer (all one guy) will not be as available over the next couple weeks due to the holidays. I am not dealing well with that. What makes it worse is that this is not typical behavior for me. I normally am not and do...

There are times when they aren't as bad or if I am distracted enough, but it seems that they have a way of storing up during those times because afterwards or after a "break" they seem to come on and worse. I almost don't want to have any good times anymore or breaks because the crash is huge.

Sorry, I had to do it. I have been struggling for a while now with this coming up and now that its so close its awful. I didn't see any recent threads on it and I was starting to feel like maybe it is just me that it is causing so much pain for. However, I know that the holidays bring feelings...

I have not dealt with or really thought much about my abuse etc for years (I just turned 40 a few days ago), but on 4/16/13 I received a Facebook message from a childhood friend that knew my stepfather and he apparently was asking how I was doing and said to send his love!!! That is when all...