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I'd like to think I would have had the same reply instead of a reaction had it been done in person, but face to face interactions aren't my forte. I just want to please the person and move on regardless if it isn't what I really want. In this case she wanted to try to get a rise out of me. And...

Hello I'm a new member here as well. I'm actually a sufferer and am in the fight of my life to save my marriage. Again! So I can totally relate to the resolve you seem to have to make it work. I can more relate to your husband from the withdrawing aspect. It sounds like he is very confused but...

I'm so proud of me! My wife and I have been reduced to texting for communication. She sent me an inflammatory text meant to draw a reaction. I simply replied "ok" and metaphorically walked away.

Whoah. Sorry about the font.

Yes now you've got it. So true. So so true. I had everything set up for her to meet with a therapist at the place I go. My therapists idea was for he and I to continue, give my wife some time to get acclimated to her new therapist and then the 4 of us to come together. Brilliant plan. She...

Thanks for your encouragement.

@ladee - and yes the whole thing about giving one back and then withholding the others is the point I was trying to make. @Justmehere - I don't talk to her about MY intentions to leave. She brings up with some consistence that is what she wants. But yet stays. However I see your point about...

@Fadeaway - that makes sense. And Thanks for the extra explanation. @ladee - I've narrowed it down to three reasons. One - fear. That no one else will want me. Two - loyalty. I haven't always been the nicest person to live with. In the early years of our marriage before I was diagnosed...

I do not have specific tools yet for risk assessment aside from just the implied idea. To answer an earlier question, yes it was all handguns including my sidearm. I did not push at all. I asked one day if I could have my sidearm back. Respectfully. She said no. Ok. I asked a couple weeks...

Thanks for you replies. If you guys could read my intro it would give you some context. My wife doesn't love me. She hasn't for a while. I could your points if it was being done in love. But it's an attempt at control. And the suicidal idieation was medicine indused. A doc at the clinic I go to...

There's no way I can fully express the insanity I am in right now. I have PTSD. My wife has…something yet to be identified. I'm trying to live with compassion for this woman as we've shared 23 years together and have 4 kids together. First marriage for both. But a person only has so much to give...

Like I swallowed the red and blue pills. Some days I'm fighting to find the truth and unplug from the matrix. But then I find out and want to go back and believe whatever I want to believe. And some days like I'm Mr. Anderson going through the motions of working with black and white...

I keep trying to calmly reiterate whenever another issue for her with comes up that this is separation. This is what you wanted. This is what it looks and feels and tastes like. This is reality. My family believes I'm crazy or a saint to have stayed in this thing so long. I just don't want to...

Guys I need some feedback. My wife and I were talking Thursday. The money subject came up. I asked her calmly if the money I earn is "our" money and always has been. Why does the money you make selling makeup get to be "your" money and not "ours"? Not equal amounts but equal fairness. She...

Good communication is a weak skill for me when it comes to her. I can and will focus more on that. Boundaries, really setting them, in love, and not being robotic about their enforcement is a relatively new area for me. My history tells me that boundaries are bad. My family of origin history I...

I saw my therapist today, a Christian counselor. Spilled my guts out about all the duality, double standards, abuse, neglect, etc just getting him caught up on the weekend! And at the end of it all he says to me lead her and she will follow. Give yourself up for her as Christ did for the church...

I would like to, but there are other considerations. I have a small ember of hope that she and I can find a healthy path forward. We have kids that are still in school. We can't afford our lifestyle now let alone two households. She doesn't work, refuses to. Claims to be unable to work but finds...

Thanks for your replies. I admit there is an unhealthy codependency here. She's all I've ever known. The fear of being alone and having regrets outweighs any serious desire to separate. The energy it takes to talk to someone like this and present your feelings is insurmountable. If it had gone...

Our relationship has had its healthy and unhealthy highs and lows. Sometimes just loving the person isn't enough. I am committed to my wife till death. She is a patient person but lately has not been kind to me.

Speaking as one whose parents were the abusers too I can relate to shutting down. It's a common thing with us. And in my case I started shutting down with my wife too. If things got too heated or I feel I totally put myself out there and then was trampled on it's instant shut down mode. It may...

It isn't religion per se for me, it's the abuse of it at other people's expense. I mean she really believes that she is "speaking life" into me and that it's her duty to. Even though it's cutting me to pieces. And I've tried to tell her how it makes me feel and even how others have told me she...

We haven't yet. We are working through our church and have to wait on their timing b/c we are broke. I have asked for updates but I guess they're really busy. We are both willing to see the counselor, but it's not happened yet. I'm scheduled to go talk to a new therapist on Tuesday to get PTSD...

This behavior is reinforced by overly zealous friends of hers. We will be going along, peacefully talking about things (sometimes) and after a call to her best friend she changes. Treats me with contempt as if I'm a huge sinner and her sh** don't stink. I feel she does this to others as well...

Any other ppl with PTSD dealing with a spouse that is spiritually abusive? What I mean is someone who uses religion as a means with which to cut you down and hurt the very core of who you are.

We have been married for 22 years we have 4 boys together, 1st marriage for us both. My wife has stuck by me through everything I've put her through. But lately she is closed off. We'll try to have difficult discussions about my latest employment issues (I cycle through these a lot b/c abuse of...