Really Struggling With My Wife's Treatment Of Me Lately

[mbrady]

We have been married for 22 years we have 4 boys together, 1st marriage for us both. My wife has stuck by me through everything I've put her through. But lately she is closed off. We'll try to have difficult discussions about my latest employment issues (I cycle through these a lot b/c abuse of power is a major trigger) and as long as the discussion stays focused on me and my problems and the things I need to change she's engaged. As soon as I bring up that this is a two way street and that there are things she needs to work on, she's out. Say one thing wrong or in the wrong tone and she throws up her finger and shakes it at me saying "No, I don't have to put up with this" or some other such phrase and leaves. This leaves me feeling unheard, taken for granted, and used. She got to speak her peace but I can't. She continues on in her daily life uncaring, but not unaware, of the torment I am in. This has happened several times in the last 2 months.

 

[Nessa7]

I looked at your introduction post to get a better idea of what you're going through. Have you seen a marriage counselor yet? I saw that you mentioned having an appointment. It really sounds like the two of you need a mediator.

 

[mbrady]

We haven't yet. We are working through our church and have to wait on their timing b/c we are broke. I have asked for updates but I guess they're really busy. We are both willing to see the counselor, but it's not happened yet.
I'm scheduled to go talk to a new therapist on Tuesday to get PTSD help.

 

[LuckiLee]

We have been married for 22 years we have 4 boys together, 1st marriage for us both. My wife has stuck b...

Hi there. Sorry to hear about your problems with your wife. As a supporter sometimes it feels like everything is about the person with PTSD. We try to keep stress away from you all day, everyday. It gets stressful for us too. Sometimes it would be nice to have that level of concern for us too. It sounds like your wife is a little overwhelmed right now and maybe needs some time to herself. To regroup. Communication is key. If counseling isn't happening yet and communication is hard for you both maybe you could write your concerns down and share with your wife. Not sure if this will help you at all. Good luck!!