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This is probably really weird but today I went out and bought a journal so I can write to my therapist. I've never been able to do written journals before because I have a hard time putting words. Normally I do art journals.
But I thought maybe it would help me get through the next few months...
Thank you @Justmehere for sharing, it really means a lot. I'm so sorry you've dealt with this too. When I left my last T to start seeing this T after my suicide attempt it was not this hard even though I'd been seeing her for longer. But that therapist was one that didn't truly seem to care like...
I'm still not handling this well. I just randomly start crying when I think of things we were suppose to cover in therapy lately. I also had to call her because she said if she hadn't called me by today to confirm the time of our appointment next week to do so. It went to voicemail and I cried...
Sorry for two posts in two days but I'm really struggling right now with the news of my T leaving.
I had an appointment with an eye specialist this morning. I told myself I could do it so I went. It was crowded! This of course has me anxious on top of still just being in shock and upset. Then...
I feel like one this has meaning of the work we've done in the last year and a half (feels so much longer) but also is a good quote for her new clients to read.
Thank you @greenleaf i am trying to look at the positives. This new T is trained in TF-CBT which my therapist feels like is the next step for me.
Lol, anything that sits in my car or bedroom for more than a second has Kaz hair on it because he's a Golden Retriever and sheds a LOT!
I think...
I like the idea of giving her a gift. I do know my service dog in training typically doesn't go with me to our sessions but I'm gonna ask that he be allowed to come to our last one. One because I will really need him when I leave but also I have this REALLY strong desire for her to meet him...
So today marks 2 years since my last "trauma"- when I was raped. Weeks ahead of time we scheduled so I could see my T this morning to help me deal with things. Instead- it just made this day way worse.
My T said she wanted to tell me this so bad last week but her boss had not given her the go...
Thank you @deer_in_headlights :hug:. I planned on taking my service dog in training but he's got major case of puppy brain today and don't want him disturbing during the test.
Yeah those normally work for me. But this one like I KNEW I was in the present, but my body didn't. So it was hard to...
That's the hard part for me. I'm so judgmental of myself. I couldn't sleep last night between the flashbacks, severe back pain, and asthma. I had to miss class this morning just so I would have the energy for my test this afternoon.
@sun seeker yeah it always seems to happen at bad times. Our last session was pretty light and it was like literally that night that everything hit the fan.
Thank you. I don't believe I will get that far. I've had some ideation but no real thoughts. My dogs are my reason for living and they...
Can't run- just got diagnosed with asthma, showers are a trigger. I'm trying to read as a distraction.
@sun seeker my psychiatrist is only in office on Mondays and Fridays. So I basically can't get any help until Friday or next Tuesday.
I did contact the Psych OT that I've stayed in contact...
This has been an awful week. My depression has slowly been worsening and so my psychiatrist put me on a new antidepressant but the few days I've tried taking it, it is like it doubles my depression which puts me on the edge holding on my the tips of my fingers. One day I tried so hard to go to...
@_demolition.lovers_ I am owner training my own service dog, but I have mentored under two other trainers for over a year. If you have never done any advanced training, I would suggest going through a program as training your own is a HUGE responsibility. First you would need to find a legit...
Sorry for so many posts lately, I just really don't have a lot of outside support.
So today my therapist brought up that she thinks I might would benefit from trauma-focused CBT. Due to several reasons we have stopped EMDR for right now- but the main reason is that I am not comfortable with...
Sorry I didn't respond before- just basically was trying to make it through yesterday without calling and canceling my appointment today.
My therapist started the session with one of our "insider" jokes. My T can tell what kind of week it has been based off how I position myself on her couch...
She knows about the whole dad issue. I tried explaining the mom thing Friday but like I said it was rushed and came out wrong.. I know I need to explain all of this- I am just terrified of saying it wrong..
Thank you both. I just really hate making people upset, especially my T. I know Tuesday...
Things have been slowly getting worse over the past few weeks to the point that if things don't turn around soon I am afraid I will need to go inpatient again to keep from acting.
So my T came back after a 2 month recovery for surgery and things were looking good. I was able to get back into...
I could've written this very post- in fact I was about too!
My therapist is having me go back to the basics and do a lot of art journaling. She has me put a color with an emotion. So for me anger is red, shame is yellow, orange is overwhelmed and afraid, sky blue is peace, dark blue is...
Surprisingly my class has been GREAT! Even people on campus- we've only had 2 petting attempts. Kaz sleeps through class unless he needs to alert me. My professors are very accommodating as well. As he gets bigger I will be getting him a bigger vest that will have more "do not pet" patches as...
Thank you @gizmo !
Today went better than I could've ever hoped! Kaz was a PRO! Like he is not even 6 months old but he acted like he had been trained for years! He slept soundly through both classes- one of my professors had to come see Kaz for himself because he didn't believe me when I...
Thank yall!! @Ms Spock i have created some flyers but haven't found a cheap way to print them off yet. It has pictures of Kaz and I on it with proper service dog etiquette, FAQs, state and ADA laws, and some fun facts about Kaz. I need to get some printed.
It really varies according to each...
So all of my financial aid appeal stuff is coming through and I am registered to take 2 classes this semester starting tomorrow! I haven't taken classes on campus since like 2013 I think, or maybe beginning of 2014. My 6 month old SDiT has proven he is ready to start classes with me so we start...
Some days yes. When its a couple or a man touching a woman specifically- yes it does feel like I am being the one touched because I don't trust men at all (sorry guys, I just don't). Every man I have trusted either abused me or abandoned me. But for me its different. It feels like I am being...