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I actually signed up for a co-dependency group, but I haven't had the time to attend..have been so busy. After my final exam next week, I'm going to call the group again and set up a starting date. I know I've been co-dependent sigh. That goes back to childhood issues, that's why I'm...

Yes I have asked him on many ocassions..he says he can't behave normal now and I can't expect him to be a normal boyfriend right now because of his mental state. I fully accepted this. But always said I do need some form of reciprocity and show of goodwill. For example, by taking care of himself...

No Solara. If you had read my posts then you would've known that he tells me he's unhappy himself. I'm acting on the basis of what he tells me. Also, if a person doesn't do anything productive for anyone beside himself, but is able to do all the fun stuff he wants, he is going to come across to...

Someone told me on this forum before that untreated PTSD can cause a sufferer to develop coping mechanisms which include behavioral disorders such as narcissism. It's funny, my bf recently said about himself that he's a narcissist. I laughed it off. You are right nurse nurse, and that's what my...

Yes nursenurse, this is exactly what I mean. Your last line nailed it: I've cut him loose before and he does indeed come back every time. It might be time to leave. I noticed that I start to be more and more indifferent towards his issues. He guilt trips me every time I tell him that I cannot...

To me it does matter if it's the PTSD or not, the behaviour might be the same, but he tells me it will change when he gets better. So I need to know whether to believe this or not. He wants to hold on to me and get married one day. I'm trying to figure out whether it's worth it or not. I don't...

Why would you assume I'm judgmental? Please explain.. I dont think I've shown any sign of being judgmental. The whole reason for my thread here was to find out whether I should trust my instincts, or to believe it truly is because of his PTSD.

yes, before I met him he was like this as well..that explains the 5 years, we've been together for 3. Money is not an issue for him, he has a lot of savings. I wouldn't even be angry if he needed more sleep, in fact it happens when he ocassionally sleeps over on week nights. He has my key. The...

I think it will make it easier for the two of us if we lived together, it wouldn't be such a hassle to see each other, btw he lives 10 minutes away from me atm. I don't want to change him, I want him to get into the spiral going up instead of down. Take his therapy seriously, that's what I...

See, I can't possibly see life through his eyes, or feel what he feels, I'm trying to understand and decide, like your therapist said,determine if it's worth it for me to stay..I believe that in a relationship, regardless of anything, both sides should put in effort, to their own ability..

Oh no, I don't want to ''fix'' him, that's not my point at all...I'm just not sure whether he's using it as an excuse or not. Being selfish and lazy can be part of his personaity but it can also be part of his mental condition...that was my question.. See if it is his personality, I don't see...

Hi all, This is the second time I post here... I really don't know what to think anymore. My bf of 3 years is a sufferer. He can't sleep a night through, always night terrors, I feel so bad for him. During the day though, he is fine. In general though, he's unhappy he tells me. But here's...

first of all...your dad was an *ss!!!! damnnn I'm gonna go with him, I don't mind...This is my party, and if he doesnt like it he can just gtfo (excuse my french). You know why I dont mind him going with me? The day after I have an appointment do get a tattoo...I would usually ask him to go...

Update... I want to thank you all...your comments have opened my eyes to things I was blind to. I never thought this would happen, as I genuinely believed that he couldn't help himself, even if my loved ones were always telling me otherwise. I always thought they said those things because they...

Yes yes yesss, both terms make sense now! and its so applicable to my situation that its not even funny anymore.. if it ever where.. I consider myself an educated smart person and I had to stop and really think about the theories above you described! It really is complex! also, i feel kind of...

Guys, all of you, this is helping me so much...I can't thank you enough, please keep your insights coming... I've been on other forums (regular love forums) and when you start talking about PTSD everybody gets all defensive that I shouldn't be so insensitive to his condition etc. Thats...

Hi Kahlan, the nice things usually come when I reach a breaking point. For example, he never used to want to go anywhere with me, because he's always tired..so I booked a trip for myself alone in the end, since I was tired of nagging months on end just to go to 1 place I want to see...He said I...

Hi Drew, really interesting things you said here.. I tried doing some research on ''hovering'' but the only thing I found was that it means going back and forth, altering between mental states, could you enlighten me a bit how it would expose itself, as in symptoms, or behaviours? I read about...

For myself? I read into it and it seems this is more for the ptsd sufferer? Guys, im trying to get my head together...im really having hard time since there have been a lot of good times and he has done a lot of things for me too.. All of your writings DID open my eyes however to the fact...

HI Change, do you really think i've been through domestic (emotional) violence?? I never thought of it that way... See, I write the bad things here, but I cant deny that there are a lot of good things between us as well..its just that the bad outweight the good.. P-no: yes, I actually was...

I didn't....After a year of dating, I found out he had cheated on me, and I left him and ignored him for 3 months, in the end he won me over with promises that thing would change and he was very sorry for what he did, he explained his own reasons, and we decided to start over. Then a year...

I'm so sorry for you...similar things?

I do see outside it...I just can't really make a distinction between, what I should accept as for his condition, and what I really cannot accept..I'm very empathatic and it breaks my heart to know what he has seen, it makes me feel so guilty that I almost am like: he's been through this and...

He says he's suicidal...and me stressing him out makes him even more.. So then I feel guilty, but then..I realize, that what I'm asking from him, or what I ''stress'' him about, aren't unusual things.

Hi Everyone.. After a long search I have found this forum tonight, and I'm really hoping to get some insight from you guys, because I think I might be losing my mind. I'm torn apart by feelings of guilt on the one hand, and feelings of anger on the other. My boyfriend of 3 years has PTSD from...