Search results

I don't know yet. I hope so. Work is actually a comfort for me, so long as I don't have to have a lot of contact with my mom (whom I work for). I'm about to start an independent project, so that might help. I can't afford a day program (no health insurance because we just miss the cutoff for...

I can't even imagine this for myself. When people spend time with me, it seems they must be working really hard to be able to tolerate it. They say that's not the case, but I don't know how to believe them. I read one article that said compassion and self-compassion are the antidote to shame...

This is probably true. What does working on shame look like? Found this chapter from a book: http://www.recoveryonpurpose.com/upload/Working%20With%20Shame%20in%20the%20Therapy%20Hour%20Summary%20and%20Integration.pdf Page 388 talks about how to work on shame caused by a misplaced sense of...

It's not that I dislike her as a person. I've tried working with Ts where I wouldn't want to be around them outside of therapy, and that just doesn't work at all--it's disgusting and repulsive. That's not the situation here. She'd probably make a decent coffee-buddy under other circumstances...

T suggested I try EMDR, and that requires working with a different T for a while since the T I've been seeing for nearly 2 years isn't trained in it. He told me about 3 options: 2 women and 1 man. I prefer working with male Ts because of emotional abuse from my mom. But due to the nature of...

So when you're hiking with your T, are you able to work on processing the PTSD? Does that keep you from having a meltdown/shutdown at all, or is there something different you're able to do for handling those things? For me, it takes a tremendous amount of concentration to be able to "connect"...

I'm curious how this worked out for you...did you proceed with EMDR? Did it help?

Yes, I think this is a big part of it. I grew up surrounded by people who couldn't handle their own negative emotions. And so it was crucial to not do anything that could create additional negative emotions for them. I had to protect them from having negative emotions as much as possible. So...

When you've shared a piece of your story with someone, what effect does it have on you for that person to tell you they feel really sad for what happened to you, or angry, or "my heart is breaking for you", or whatever? I guess due to my asperger's, I used to think people were making it up when...

I've done a lot of that. It didn't help me feel connected or comforted, although it was good to give him a fuller picture of what's going on inside for me...informative for him. Sooo so much of what I experience inside never shows on the surface at all. My journaling has really helped to open...

Yes, exactly. It's tedious to have to translate everything from visual/conceptual thought into words. Nearly impossible to maintain contact with elusive feelings at the same time. I'm only slowly learning how to do this, and even so, it's like I have to translate "Okay, when an NT does this...

I just watched this Alan Robarge video: https://youtu.be/KAWcnFP-4Oc He talks about how the internal construct of "mother" is different from the actual person who I call Mother, who is also different from the universal archetype of mothering. So, I totally get the first distinction. I don't...

Well, no, not really...other than giving me way more attention than anyone else ever has in a platonic relationship. Don't get me wrong--this has been a real boost to my mood, and tonight I'm forcing myself not to email her on FB because I don't want to be too needy or wear out the relationship...

That's a good point. Although seems like there should be some middle ground available, too...something between "You scare me, go away" and "You're pretty awesome--I can handle your mistakes." And it seems like saying up front, "I'm not good at this", tips the scales strongly in one direction or...

This is helpful. Most people don't actually want to know what I think, either. It's too intense, too deep, too extensive, too...whatever. I have to tone it down significantly to keep from scaring people off. To have found someone who can handle it...who can keep up with my thought patterns...and...

This is really helpful. That awkwardness has been sooo hard for me to accept about myself. I hate it, I really do. But it's real, and I hate being fake. To find someone who isn't at all threatened by the awkwardness...and somehow, figure out how to see myself more like they do...that's one of...

Between Asperger's and CPTSD and depression, I've never really had real friends. There have been people who would let me hang out with them, but I was always "performing" to try to look kinda sorta normal and try to fit in, so no one ever really knew me. Even with my DH, I've tried to play the...

UPDATE The weekend went really well, actually. Nephew played well with my boys during the day while DH and BIL were gone. BIL's girlfriend was really nice. We talked about personality types for a little while, and she totally understood that I needed extra time alone when there's so much going...

Yeah, this is hard to do. Do you know what you need and how you feel and then don't say it, or do you not know what you need/feel until later? My T has asked me many times what I need from him or from DH. Problem is, I don't have a clue what I need from them. Nothing feels like it helps. I've...

Do you think this is more due to the time-limited nature of your therapy, or more because of attachment issues for you, or more because of the mismatch with your T? Yes, we've worked on this a lot. It was a revelation for me that emotions are linked to physical sensations in my body. I still...

Wow, you really nailed her. Yes, everything she talks about is related to her ideology and spirituality. She can't really carry on a conversation about anything without turning it into some kind of spiritual lesson. And everyone either falls into the category "they get it and they're on board"...

This is a helpful insight, thank you. I'll have to think on this. My mom is a very unhealthy INFP, and she doesn't always find the best in people. In fact, she tends to project her worst onto other people. Even people she treats kindly, she'll talk critically about them when they're not around...

This happens to me more often than not after therapy...I walk out feeling worse than when I went in. So I always try to schedule several hours of self-care time after each session. If I feel up to it, I go browse through a used book store. That way I can buy a book or two if I want without...

Yes, but we don't have any of the popular, shoot-em-up kinds of games...nothing violent. I'm not sure he'll be pleased with our selection, but it is an option. The bikes was one scenario that scared me, lol. What if nephew gets going fast and runs over one of the little kids? He's not used to...

I've known for a couple of weeks. I guess I just kept hoping the problem would disappear, lol. That was really mature, right? ;) They're coming in from out of town, so I think BIL is thinking, "I'll bring my kid and we'll all hang out together and have a good time and it's great! You guys...