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Maybe I just have a bad day :( Feeling like life and oportunities are slippin through my fingers and my work to prevent it is just the work of sysofos :(

Im really trying my best to be brave. To not predict the future to all gloom and to catastophy thinking that itll all go to hell based upon former experiences. And maybe - just maybe - if I were in this alone I could make it fairly well. But Im not. Im on welfare on workforce program. Today...

dark ale

Very accurate and good post in these dire times. Yeah have do we find strenght and empowerment in such situations? I guess for me being active and accomplish fysical endurance makes me feel strong enough to endure being a woman in what I call a female hostile environement. Guess Il never get...

Great Panda - so glad for this update and your beautiful progress. Also it gives me an insight to how a constructive T can be like. I all the more understand that I dont understand why I hold on to my T. She wasnt capable of saying nor doing any of this the time I self cut. Im glad you have...

the pommes frites :inpain::p

He forgot to swallow

Superwoman

Yes thats exactly it Panda. Now you got the key to work this out I think. I also grew up with somewhat similar mother. It seems we end being sorry for existing and taken up place ie the need for saying sorry even do your feelings are legit? I think to dare to experiement with and challenge...

I wonder if you grew up in circumstances where people would get angry or upset or even violent when you told them things since you seem to think your T will be. You describe your T as a gentle, caring and loving person and therefor there is no real reason it seems that T will get upset. Or is it...

Thanks for posting this. I got an answer to whats been up with me today. Obviously so depersonlaized by pulling my self togheter the past days I woke up today in a complete dizziness and being total estranged to my self.

Panda - I cant tell you not to be ashamed cause you own your own feelings. I hope do youll learn to see do that at the moment it was the best you managed to do. I wish you could tell your self you are sorry for hurting your self and not the T. Its so hard to come over the inital first feelings...

To be diagnosed has pissed me of more then ones. This article explains why In a very good manner. "...we tolerate traumatised individuals being morally judged, ignored and rejected for manifesting the sequelae of their distress in acute wards and mental health services up and down the...

Is it your first time? Sounds like it. Ive done this. Not cause of what the clichee of self cutting says that you want to punish your self or remove the pain or whatever, but to check if I could feel somethig or not. I find this to happen when the inner pain is to great and I become emotionally...

Be conscjous about your communication - how you say things and body language. You might tell him what you need, but do you tell him in a way he can understand it? See it as an communication experience to be curios about. Like - if you say things this way what will happen? >If you say it in...

@lostforgottensoul - yes this is exactly it. If you are calm Ill be calm but If you get stressed when I have my seizures Ill get 10 000 times worse. Regarding this thread - despite my flaming rage I could never do something to someone bird or human that Id know would cause them hurt. Ill...

http://existentialanalysis.org.uk/assets/articles/Understanding_and_Coping_with_Anxiety_Rollo_May_transcription_Martin_Adams.pdf Rollo May lecture According to this Rollo calles it Age of Anxiety not like Ive said above Era of Fear. The evidence is over-whelming, however, that men and women...

@ladee moral issue exactly. Cause as I said people think of addiction as something you can repent and thereby cure and then you will be all fine and dandy and member of the "good flock" again. You cant repent being fex sexually misused all though it seems that this is what people want and then...

Actually helped me cleaning out my closet and the only way Ill say sorry Eminem Cleanin' Out My Closet HQ Lyrics

Ah sorry Im ranting here - I cant even picture forgiving my dad. Like "I forgive you dad cause you forced your self and your slimy mouth upon me with brute force trying to kiss me when I was 27 years old. And threatning to violate me when I tried to get out of you violate grip. . I forgive you...

The national song of Noway fits well into this discussion - it goes translated something like this "love to think, just love to think about my father and my mother" . Ive never been able to sing this without choking and cant even belive a national song can be so hypocrate building upon that one...

Not sure if what you said made sense but my head is also blurry from being sick. Speaking for myself - I never wanted to behave the way I did. Never ment to lie nor cheat or anything. Ive gone a long way to re learn things. Now keeping my self away from men since its better for all parts. I...

Nope Im not your boyfrriend disguised as a lady :geek: I just want to adress the lying thing sorry I dont think we are really lying. Its just that we are not able to be responsible for our behaviour and when it goes all wrong we are to ashamed of our shitty selves so therefor. Its very complex...

Interesting that you say you heard this exact things from him - wow I say too. Yes yes I was not able to be that woman so better avoid this disturbing honest conversations that triggers. Had some good boyfriends but I was not worthy (and Im still not) to be with such nice person. Contaminated...

My running theory is that being reminded of previous perp reinactments and/or shameful sexual behavior could trigger him, rather than the fact that he was caught. How would I know? Yeah there is something here. Havent been to therapy but this rings some bells as Ive written above. Its all very...