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Yeah, so I wrote this months ago after this happened... But I am struggling with it... And I wanted to put this (as a link to my blog where was originally written at but it says I am not allowed to do that...) Anyway, thanks for reading. Sorry it is so long! ***Hugs and comments please. Any...

So, here are just some things that have been happening in the last month... I found out about the 4th and 5th bullet points within an hour or two of each other... Anni (of a particular r*pe) this month and I want December to be over... It's the 29th... Persistent panic attacks that cause...

I fit the S/S for BPD but my T said she doesn't like labels and that she thinks BPD can be a "catch-all" diagnosis. She said that she doesn't like to focus on the diagnosis/label too much but rather on the S/S of the trauma and whatever comes along with it... But I do fit the S/S for BPD but she...

Thanks! :)

I agree. I've only been 'active' on this forum for a week maybe? But I have found it to be very helpful. I am glad that you do too. Would like to talk to you and get to know others here. If you need anything, feel free to PM me. Blessings! :)

And thank you Madhather!!! It means a lot to me! I wish you the best in your journey of healing as well! I wish you ALL the best! <3

Thank you so much Laurie!!! Very happy to hear about the progress you have made in your healing journey. Thank you for the warm and kind welcome. Wish the best to you!

Thank you Nomedic1! :)

Sorry for what happened to you (her). It is bot her/your fault. You were a child and he used that against you! That could never be your fault. You are strong and brave for sharing. I thank you. Supporting you 100%. Blessings.

Thank you both! It was nice speaking to you as well! :)

Now when it comes to the stuff my ex did... He WAS terrible... SO upsetting the things he did to me... I saw my ex a couple weeks weeks ago... I got so scared. Even after almost 3.5 years later and there is still the same reactions he put into me... that he wanted me to have... that he caused...

I now feel bad. Although this stuff did happen, it wasn't evil and terrible like it really sounds. They really were just that: games. We were rough-housing. and I don't think he knew his own strength. As for the sexualized stuff, well, I am just not sure. He more than likely had it like I did...

I could have answered 'yes' to ask of those I think. I understand. You are NOT alone.

Thank you!!!

Hi all! I am Chantel. I am glad to be here. Well, I am a bit upset that I have a reason to be here, but since I do, I will use this and try and also help others! :) I will start out by saying that I am a survivor of many types of abuse: mental/psychological, verbal, emotional, physical, and...

Thank you for being vulnerable and trusting in order to share this. It is very brave of you and I applaud you for being so courageous You are strong and will make it through this. I pray that your mother comes around. Perhaps it will take a heart-to-heart with her for her to see how this really...

This exactly. This is how it is for me. I think I might be on the spectrum somewhere. My T said that I may have started "splitting" somewhere but the partial splits stayed partial, never forming into a distinct personality. I agree. It sounds as if she is projecting. You might not ever know...

I have often asked myself. I think a lot of it is from many different factors playing into the equation of "Diagnosis". I think there are many people who have diagnosis of BPD, bipolar, depression, OCD, etc. who have no trauma history at all. I think in their case, it would probably be...

Hello! Welcome to the forums! I am glad you found this place. I am sorry you are struggling so much. I wish you the best in your healing.

*Update* I have since been dx with PTSD, I have also been having some dissociative symptoms and other scary things...

At least 4 or 5 days out of a week

Many incidents throughout my life for sure...

My faith is around the same... I have questions, but my faith is still there.

HI Jane, I am so sorry for what you have been through. It is so horrible. You are very brave for sharing. I hope it helps on some level. There's no judgement here so I hope you feel free to share whatever it is you feel the need to share. We are all survivors here in one way or another and all...

Like I said, I have started to possibly dissociate when I get triggered or when I think about this all for too long or when I have a severe panic/anxiety attack. I have since this original post, been diagnosed with PTSD. I am not sure if it is "true" dissociation or not... I get very spacey and...