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I don't know if you still need any help or if the trip is finished. I'm an American who has lived overseas for over 26 years. I'm in Taiwan now, but I lived in Japan for the most part. I've traveled to Europe on business several times and they can be really stressful, especially when you have...

I'm putting off sleeping now. It's 11:30 and I should be in bed, but I postpone.

@Alfred.Greene Thank you. It's not easy, as you know. I think I'm making progress. It feels good to be able to figure something out. Yes, and it's good to remember these times for when things don't go so well. I liked your earlier advice about writing the things she is similar and dissimilar...

Thanks. I didn't think that. Something interesting happened last night. I decided that McDonald's wasn't that big of a deal. It's not the hill to die on. I have plenty of irrational things myself. ;-) So, I suggested we go to a local restaurant with the kids and have her show me how to order...

@shimmerz, that was really cool of you. Yes, I don't see how parents can ignore kids. Fortunately, my wife is pretty good. We have our differences, but she's not a bad parent. I talked to my wife tonight. I liked taking the kids to McDonalds for a couple of reasons. One is that since we live in...

It's tough. One thing which really keeps me going is how normal my kids seem to be. They have very normal temper tantrums. I actually do better with them than my wife, because I can relate to them! My son will be crying because he didn't get the yellow spoon, and I understand exactly how he...

Yes, after my head gets cleared, then I can understand that. It's important to stay in the present, which is much easier to say than to do. . . I've been able to do that with my children. I decided that I was not going to do the same thing which happened to me, so I'm able to not react when...

Thank you very much for your concern. As I wrote in my reply above, we do feed off of each other's issues, and we need to work much more on that. Unfortunately, she's Taiwanese and they don't do marriage counseling. We've tried before, but she doesn't open up. I don't think we are toxic...

I can't see how to get the multiquote function to work, so I'm replying individually. Thank you so much. It really means a lot that you said I have a voice and don't have to suffer in silence. That was the problem as a child, there was nowhere to go. No one to talk to and no comfort. My father...

Yes,this is really good to remember. I notice that myself, that I do much better when I'm feeling better overall. I really want to increase my overall well-being. I get into survival mode and just take what's happening right in front of me at the moment. I am trying to find ways to become a...

It's so stupid because I make her the enemy. I'm married, and unfortunately, my wife accidentally hits many of my triggers. When that happens I react in anger and things get tense for a while. The latest was on Saturday night. She had something in the morning, so I'd have the kids. She told me...

I grew up in a very conservative Mormon family in which the father is the spiritual head of the household. He was also a member of the lay "bishopric" (sort of like a priest) until he was removed because of his sexual abuse of my sisters. They had never done anything about his physical, mental...

Something which I'm working on now is sort of a visualization of projecting the panic feelings into space right next to me. When it's really bad, then I hold my hands up in a protective stance like I'm holding a door shut. It helps me get the space to be able to breath slowly and calm down.

For what it's worth, writing a thesis can the source of depression in the sanest people. ;) I'm struggling with something similar now, trying to figure out how to do something which I don't have a clue. I like the idea of not caring. Is it possible to not care about the pain?

The first couple of times my chest hurt, I thought I was having a heart attack. I get this pain right in the middle of my chest. I've had extensive medical checkups and my heart if fine. Mine isn't constant like yours, though. Are there things which have helped you in the past? What makes it...

After my emotional collapse two and a half years ago, I've been unable to have real friends. I did before, but with my emotions all over the place, it's just so hard. I hope you find someone.

I have something similar, not exactly but close enough. My wife and I hit each others' triggers. What I'm just starting to realize is that I have to actively take steps to decrease the pressure and to increase my capacity for dealing with stress. Since you have children, I can use that as an...

I'm taking a break from therapy for the moment, but it's hard. I also had a pretty rough childhood, and get triggered a lot from my wife. Fortunately, she's pretty good about things and we work though it. A lot of it is work. You know the routine by now, I'm sure. What causes the triggers with...

With things connected with my wife, I get the panic attacks and then I want to "punish" her, I think. It's not good behavior, but I haven't found a way to stop. It feels like I'm in a drama, watching myself act badly, but unable to control my thoughts, emotions or actions.

I called my wife today on her cell, and she told me to call her office because it's cheaper. I only wanted to talk for a couple of minutes. I was doing really well this morning, and wanted to share that with her. I get major panic attacks and have a hard time getting things done, so I was...

Hang in there. I get triggered and then it takes me a while to calm down.

Yeah, my therapist used to say things like that and it didn't help me feel any better, either. What kind of things have helped you stop spiraling down before?

I lived in Japan for a long time. I'm in Taiwan now, but can chat. I know how you feel.