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Got my shit together and drove to therapy in Chicago. Thanks everyone who listened. Especially @blackemerald1 thanks for helping me get my head on straight.

Your car accident sounds really scary. When I was 17 I rolled my car over 4 times and hit a telephone poll before landing upside down in a ditch. Somehow my friend and I didn’t get hurt although the police said they had no idea how we walked away from that car. When it was righted over it was...

It’s that I must drive to get to therapy I guess. It takes about an hour to get to Chicago so I always leave super early so I’m there almost 45-60 mins early or less sometimes if there’s super bad traffic. I’m usually early to everything or I get weird anxiety. I’m weird. If I lived in Chicago...

I was in a car accident in the beginning of August on my way to therapy actually. I was going through an intersection straight and someone turned into my car. It was chaotic, I tried to stop but couldn’t. It was an older lady and a child and their airbags went off and pinned my door. The middle...

I’m so very sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you.

Yes it can but it takes work. You may be fine one day and the next need constant reassurance you won’t be abandoned. But the longer the relationship goes on, the more consistent the other person is, the less there will be “flare ups”. I used to think it was hopeless but I don’t think it is...

I’ve emailed my therapist before sessions about things I’m thinking about and she will sometimes bring them up as an option to talk about at the beginning of our session. She doesn’t push the issue though. I’ve been where you are where I either freeze or get weirdly defensive and not want to...

I was thinking, I joke around w my therapist a lot, mainly bc my dark sense of humor is how I cope but I think there’s only been one occasion that she laughed AT me. And if I recall I became furious and left. Things worked out but it was ridiculous and invalidating. To be blunt; you don’t need...

That’s understandable and a good way to cope positively. I’ve written letters/emails to people I won’t send it to just so I can get those thoughts out. Keep holding on :)

I think I just may have to check that out, do you have a recipe?

Did you purée the eggplant or...I’m intrigued lol

@Tornadic Thoughts will you get hit by the hurricane? Take care of yourself!

@Vee i think this is the hardest part for me. I have a lot of toxic guilt and shame. I certainly am my own worst critic and there’s nothing anyone can say that I haven’t already said to myself. My therapist was surprised at how vicious my inner critic can be. I have a hard time accepting also...

Suspiciously cooler out, over a 20 degree drop from the other day. It’s the Midwest, it’ll probably be snowing this weekend.

How has everyone’s day went? What are you up to this week?

I guess I never really thought about being atheist until recently. I was raised Catholic and I was forced to go to a catholic school for 9 years...it was terrible. And I was the only minority in the school and I’m only half Mexican. Our town was racist, our school was, they emphasized religious...

@DharmaGirl im only 300 pages in but so much stuff is going down and then I’m like “wait there’s still 900 more pages what on earth else is going to happen” lol. Really good book

How are you doing @FauxLiz ?

I was given the choice of a substitute T for long breaks but I take so long to open up and am mistrusting it wouldn’t have been helpful. What I did find helpful was making a plan w my therapist as to what I was going to do while she was gone (email check ins, even if she didn’t respond, having a...

I can understand how you feel. I can go into dark moods where I just am like “I should just die, seriously what’s the point it’s been a long time”. And I can think of a bunch of reasons why I should and shouldn’t. Ultimately I think I just want the pain to stop. The thoughts, feelings, general...

I’m gonna keep it real here, I’m overweight but I don’t eat enough during the day. I am starting to eat more and am losing weight but food has always been an issue w me since I was a kid. We never starved but my family members had almost hoarding like behaviors I realize now and if we got like a...

I’m sorry you had such a rough day. I certainly get in the days where I have toxic shame spirals and it’s almost impossible to get out of it. I see what you’re saying about “if it was my fault I can fix it!” I certainly have control issues now as an adult so I can’t be hurt again , which...

Survived. Rotator cuff debridement and bicep tendonesis and debridement. Luckily not a full rotator cuff repair. Now I can’t sleep and am anxious to move on from this. Figures. ?

Thank you all for your kind words. I leave in about an hour. Stocked up on ice and ready to get this all over with!

I don’t know where to put this. I did post sorta in my diary. I’m having another surgery tomorrow as a result of my injury from when I was attacked and a car accident earlier this month. They’re cutting off part of my bicep by the shoulder and screwing it back into the bone lower down. And...