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You're mother had no right treating you like that. And everyone's trauma counts including yours. Sorry you had to go through that. It sucks. In our society, there is so much focus and help for sexual abuse but not as much help for emotional and physical abuse, but it counts just as much and...

I am doing EMDR with my therapist currently. It can be scary because it helps you to tap into your emotions about things that may have happened to you. But it's definitely healing to work through all that stuff. It's important to do it with someone you trust. It's helped me tremendously...

Thank you. I actually did start a trauma diary. I haven't added anything to it in awhile. Thank you. For some reason, when I type this stuff out from my childhood, I just feel like I'm telling a story. I don't cry. I wish I could sometimes. And I am seeing a therapist thankfully. She's...

I know this is an issue we all have to some extent because we are human and curious and need to relate to eachother. Sometimes I feel like what I went through was so aweful and weird and other times I feel like it wasn't that bad. In middle school, I worked and bought my own clothes and tried so...

What @ladee said. There's always a way. And if you don't already, try to find people in your area that you can connect with and maybe they can help out.

You are awesome! :) I wish I knew all this many years ago instead of beating myself up so much thinking I was weird and had to be as pure as possible. At least I know now. Lol

Again, thank you. To moving forward. The validation is important. And in our country, it is so hard for male survivors to come forward about stuff. I'm glad you have found something that has helped. It's so good to get it all out and not hold it in.

Thanx for sharing. So sorry for everything you have been through. That is a lot. And thanx for responding to my post. It makes us feel so alone when we have behaviors that we don't like about ourselves in response to abuse but it is helpful to share with other survivors that are not out to...

Thank you so much for your response. You are right. I didn't realize how much that religion might have affected me that way until I left it for good and joined a recovery group for ex-members of it. I just never thought I would end up sabotaging myself with these thoughts that I was able to...

The hardest thing is when I first started having these thoughts, I was able to reassure myself that it was a result of a traumatic childhood and I was able to make good choices in my life and feel better and better because I was consciously determined to heal and not let my childhood hold me...

More personal information. I started masturbating at an early age, as in I remember at least as early as second grade. And my fantasies, not giving details, were not normal but once I hit puberty, my fantasies were normal fantasies between two people. But I remember in my teen years trying to...

Thank you. Therapy for sure is a must

Has anyone else experienced this with unwanted sexual thoughts and fears popping into their mind and wondering if they are messed up sexually and where these thoughts are coming from? It's especially hard to deal with if you have no known history of any sexual abuse. It has caused me to hold...

Do we sometimes get tired of being strong no matter what, always moving forward and being resilient and being patient and always knowing the right way to act with toxic situations and always knowing how to navigate any trauma or painful situation that comes our way?!

One more side note. This whole things has led to me leaving the religion before I realized it was a cult and hurting myself too because of the guilt of ceasing all "spiritual activity" and meetings. Now that I finally realise it is a cult, I feel better but it was after I hurt my life A LOT.

Another thought. It's almost as if I was sabotaging my strength and resilience and hiding my happiness?

Can anyone relate? I survived a highly dysfunctional, lonely and abusive childhood with a Pollyanna (positive thinking) attitude. I was proud of myself for this. Then I developed excruciating symptoms of PTSD which hurt my body physically and almost felt like I had a neurological disorder. My...

Very personal stuff but I have to talk about it. Starting in my late teens, I went from being a social butterfly in my congregation (I could only be friends with people in my then faith/cult/Jehovah's Witness) to full-blown PTSD symptoms. Muscles locking up, hard to breathe, anxiety, flight or...

So I want to talk about people who take advantage of people who have already experienced abuse in their childhood. There was awful abuse in my immediate family. I had to endure it everyday of my life growing up and I never told anyone until I was 18. I noticed when I was younger, there were...

Leah Remini is doing a show exposing Scientology and for her third season, she might tackle the Jehovah's Witnesses next.

If you are in a cult, it is usually very difficult to leave. Many cults instruct their followers to shun even their own family members if they leave the cult. They often refer to people that leave as evil, Defectors or Apostates

Thank you @sleepingwolf, and exactly. I am learning so much now finally, out of this experience. I didn't have access to most of my feelings before and I was busy doing something all the time, every day for the cult and as long as I was, I was a good person but as soon as I resisted, I ended up...

Thank you @ladee. And yes, people come to expect us to play a certain role and mine was being positive, smiling, "spiritually strong", ect. I got that role down pat. Lol. Now I just want to be human. Humans have feelings. Growing up with my abusive parents and a cult that enforces rules about...

Thank you. I think I learned how to be happy despite a lot of crap happening in my life and despite being in a cult that sucks up so much of it's members' life and energy. I think I was happily putting up with way too much and always thinking about "paradise" (God's new kingdom) as an escape. My...

Another thing I want to add is, from a young age, I learned to be positive no matter what I'm going through. Examples; I'm freezing cold because my parents won't let me inside until they conclude I am done shoveling snow. My hands would start to hurt. So I would pretend the sun was shining on me...