Childhood Nervous about starting emdr therapy soon.

[kdawg91]

Alright so long story short I got a DUI and had to do some treatment plan that my probation officer said I should do. Well during the treatment the therapist couldn't get me to open up about anything at all. Which is normal for me, I don't open up or let anyone see. Anyways, in our last meeting she asked if I've been abused as a child. I instantly got pale and started sweating badly. I couldn't lie so I told her I did. She thinks that I have PTSD and that I'm in an a bad place now because I've been holding in what happened to me at 11 for 15 years now. Which I thought I was just weird, always did stuff that was self harmful to me, always super hard on myself, have weird fantasies of woman degrading/humiliating me, never have even had a girlfriend. But know after just telling her that I was abused it made me realize how much that had an effect on me. I hate to admit it but it's true and she opened my eyes. I don't want to live how I am still, but I'm super nervous about this therapy. I hate opening up and don't wanna talk about crap in the past. There's so much embarrassment, guilt, shame, and so on. It sucks. So I guess I was just wondering if there are any people out there that have had tragedies happen in their childhood that have had success with EMDR therapy? I guess to help ease my mind.

 

[saraemerald]

I am doing EMDR with my therapist currently. It can be scary because it helps you to tap into your emotions about things that may have happened to you. But it's definitely healing to work through all that stuff. It's important to do it with someone you trust.
It's helped me tremendously actually. I was acting out for a few years and I was very numb and not myself. It sucked and I was very angry with myself wondering what the hell was wrong with me. When I finally found this awesome therapist and she started doing EMDR with me, it helped me understand that I was acting out in regards to feelings I had about traumatic things but was not in tune at all with those feelings.
It's very helpful to be able to release feelings you have that are pent up, and to do this with someone you trust that can help you. It's more hurtful to keep avoiding it.
Support groups are tremendously helpful too because many in the group can relate to others and their stories and make it easier for you to tell your story, when you are ready to.