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... Hi Heather, I had to google it :) Endometrial ablation they want to scrape my uterus lining out

Tim does not go out in public unless he has to. (veteran ptsd) and I wondered about dropping off things he likes to eat - that he cannot get on amazon - next week if I don't hear from him. If I dont try to see him - I just leave it, do you think that would be helpful or would it put him in a...

Warning - this is a woman kind of question and it is GROSS... After Ben passed my body went into a permanent period mode. It has been 10 months. I have seen a dr. and been put on a prescription. Didn't do anything though and it can be incredibly heavy and painful (cramps) too. In November I had...

Thank you Joey. I had thought of checking on him in one week - so it sounds like I should not unless I hear from him. Thank you.

Does anyone recommend books or sites on this? or am I just looking for excuses to as why I acted that way the other night? I really dont know what to believe.

I've been looking for articles on dissociation. Trying to understand both Tim and I. I read it though and have to read it again. My brain is just not working lately.

Thank you Ragdoll and everyone. I am hating listening to myself so am sure you are all feeling kinda the same when you see my posts. :wtf: I am trying too go around my house and begin with making it my home. I started moving Bens stuff into the garage and am actually (whoa) doing laundry. I...

I am beating this subject - I know :( Just going crazy here. If a guy has trouble with trust, feeling safe and seeing good in people. Is disabled 100% PTSD veteran. Then gives 100% of himself and gets hurt. Says he needs space to think. How much space should be given? 1 week without calling or...

Its just so darn so difficult to believe that - he left me sweet love notes all the time and jumped right in with helping me with things. He wanted to get me a promise ring because he knows I was messed up after Ben did what he did. I went out and bought my own wedding ring to make me feel...

I'm still wondering if he has time and I don't try to see him if we will want me and love me again. Having a tough time with that though. How much time do I give him? I dont want him to think I dont care, that I dont think about how he feels and this is just killing me inside.

I'm a wreck. Tim showed me emotions and love I had wished about for years. We were both very clear with what we needed and I was an a**hole. I wish so bad I stayed at his house that day and never left because I knew I was getting emotional. life just is empty without someone to share it with...

Just means I am making excuses for myself. When in reality I threw away the most valuable piece of my life, that I needed and wanted so bad. Tim is 100% disabled PTSD so i hoped really that this was part of it and it will work itself out. I am having such a hard time with it, I miss him so...

So I am an a**hole. It has nothing to do with anything other than that :( I know myself and do not understand why I did this. I have loved him, loved our relationship and have been so grateful for it. And I threw it away within a matter of a few hours. I've been praying he will misss me and...

I see a therapist however can only afford one time a week. I would go daily if I could :( wehat is great is he knew Ben, talked with him the day he died. He knows me so I don't have to explain everything. He said in 30 years he never saw a case like ours and he went to a state supervisory board...

hahaa! Lately I went back to what I used to call "grief brain" - I drive aimlessly, always in the wrong direction lol and today I forgot my purse 3 times. Lock myself uot of the jeep - all kinds of fun stuff. This thing with Tim or it may be coming up on anniversaries has clouded my head, made...

AUGH Like all of this is not hard enough, huh? I wish too I could get it all out so I can know and move on. I kept the house a time capsule for 8-9 months. Started moving stuff recently. Heck, I just took the carpet Ben passed away on out of the house yesterday. For months I stood in our...

Thank you Casey_03 - I appreciate your listening to me and replying, It means a lot. I am so sick of emotional pain.

For the past 10 months I have been hoping to have some memory come back from the night I explained in my intro. I lost 20 minutes I believe and just have flashes of some intense things, no noise really. I want to know what was being said to me and I hate I don't know. I tried EMDR for a little...

Its tough being alone. Ben was constantly with me even when away from home (we have 7 cameras in the house he could watch and I always had to wear a blu tooth so he could hear me when away - hear my conversations etc. I have a real hard time being alone. I starting dating Tim in November and I...

I came on here the other day desperate for answers that are impossible. (New relationship fail) Thought I should do this intro part for both what it is and to type it out - which may help me I hope. My brother, best friend, was killed in 2008 by a guy who was driving on drugs. This guy hit my...

even with all of the helpful replies for all of you (I appreciate it) I am having a hard time wishing I had never left his home that day. He told me he is really hurt that I did not turn to him while I had the strong emotions/meltdown. I get that. Just why break up and want me to give him space...

My boyfriend and I started things off fast. We have both been through a lot before we met. Seemed that helped our connection because we understood our needs/pains etc., he has told me so many times no one understood like I do. Now I hurt him - I avoided him for a few hours while I had a...

I have to stay at my house. I dont know how I am going to manage - I feel like crap that I hurt Tim. I cannot believe he has loved me so much and I hurt him. I also cant believe he can look at me and tell me he has no love for me. I am having a hard time not contacting him.

I don't know how to get through this. Everything I have wanted in a man and wished for with my deceased husbands behaviour I found in Tim. And I let it go. I f*cked it up. He doesnt love me - just like that ? I feel like crap, like garbage. I crave his smile and knowing everything is going to be...

I can't deal with this