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Well, i binged on everything unhealthy today so theres no more where that came from. Going to stock up on healthy items, and try to go from there. Cooked something I really enjoy eating, full, healthy, tasty meal. So for that I am proud of myself, Im going to forget about the rest of today ;)

Anyone have any idea how to deal with my situation right now? I have a 'binge' every night. It's not exactly a binge as I've had... but when my medication kicks in I just get hungry and insatiable. So I eat a lot of stuff that isn't exactly nourishing. But then the next day, I need to fix that...

Crying in crimson is my favorite phrase, but now felt too poetic

I first started when I was 11. Im 25 now and just relapsed. Im a cutter.. its more about the blood than the pain. It feels like Im somehow crying in red so it calms me down.

I'm writing this but I'm actually not sure I'll post this. The thing is. I feel like I need, even want, my ED to take over now. I can't deal with anything, so it's actually easier to be preoccupied with food and weight and feeling empty in my body istead of my head. BUT I hope to be starting...

I force myself to stay near my husband, or yesterday i jumped under the shower and didnt leave till the urge passes. But usually. Usually I'm already with the blade on my skin. Fully engaged to do it, realizing that actually its NOT want I want, is DOESNT help at all. And I put it away and...

My story is in some ways freakishly similar to yours. I'm so sorry. When my current shitshow started I thought I wouldn't last a week without cutting. I'm in week 12 now, still managed to not do it. I hope you can make it too. I try to make myself remember that in the past it didnt solve...

(Just got inspired by how my mind has worked for years in the flight state) No time for that Lists lists lists Gotta do this Should do that Do I want this? No time for that Time for a list Work work work Gotta do this Should do that Do I like this? No time for that Time for work Think think...

That I should get to painting my windows but in a couple of hours I have an appointment and I also have to do some groceries. I have the entire day ahead of me but I can't seem to make a plan. Blubberbrain.

Thank you so much for your help. Im going to try feldenkrais. I live in the Netherlands so it wouldnt be a big deal to get marihuana but Im a tad sensitive when it comes to addiction, so Im never touching that again ;)

Shimmerz, you mentioned a tightening shoulder/back area. Its extremely tight and painful for me at the moment.. do you have any tips on freeing it up yourself? Ive applied heat but thats not helping. And I cant afford a massage every week... I know its stressrelated, but I cant fully use my...

I had my body response with low bloodpressure to a trigger hours and hours earlier. My body responded because my mind couldnt, if that makes sense. Its been three days and Im still waiting for the mental blow. But usually when I get triggered I immediatly response.

Okay, so my trauma is based on sexual abuse as a teenager. But now I had a conversation with my mom that pretty much confirmed what I was already thinking. There is a big, big chance that I was abused as a baby. Under a year old Its a couple hours later since that talk and I really don't feel...

@shimmerz Thank you for that article. I don't really know what to say. I've been in 'flight state' for years, but it completely burned me out and yeah, the freeze state describes me pretty well now. But I'm still switching between freeze/flight. I need to think about this. It's really...

I'm just going to hang out here in case there are more tips for getting out of regression. As I'm currently doing my best not to get worse. Thanks @shimmerz for mentioning coffee. I've been sitting in the same chair for hours wondering when I'm going to get up to empty my bladder, but now I want...

Such a hard question today. I'm grateful I'm still free of selfharm. About 3,5 years now.

I want to quit aswell. I have problems with my gums, if it gets worse my teeth wil eventually fall out. This is actually the first 'real' consequence of smoking I've encountered. Ofcourse there were some discomforts, nicotine stains on my teeth, having to smoke during a nice conversation, always...

Fish, since I have a nice pond with fish in it already :) For a couch: Leather or fabric

All was well.

When i get triggered my usual response is 'freeze and comply'. I only get mad at my husbanf because I actually trust him. So he gets a lot of rants. I wouldnt call it verbally abusive. More... he gets the bad stuff from my moodswings.

@Chris-duck It went great! My teeth look good again, my teeth were in good condtition. Can't say the same about my gums though, but we'll work on that.

I have a dental appointment in two hours but selfcare, including dental hygiene, has not been something that has been going great for like, years. So Im now wondering if i can undo the damage by brushing for two hours. I highly doubt it though. Buh, im anxious.

sugerfree, caloriefree iced tea. And a bunch of chocolate truffels. Ya know. Balance. XD

When you find out that your abuser has moved to sweden and you give up ever going on vacation there even though it's a big country. And then feeling sad and frustrated and angy about missing out on that hypothetical vacation that you never even considerd instead of feeling relieved that the...

Thank you all so much for your replies. My parents are loving parents, they never abused me, neglected me, and have always been there for me. Communication has been rough some times, to the point they asked if I rather lived with my aunt. But there was always love. It's not easy on parents...