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When I'm trying to write my essays,( I will complete this course it means so much) first there a change in the air distribution of the room so tangible then the toxic mixture of their sweat and my blood like someone's spraid it around like an air dirtier sometimes I open the window of our fourth...

Hi Im very worn today been finding it hard to share but ignoring my physiological confusion is manifesting itself I physiological symptoms. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this thread because it helps explain shit that's been going down the last few years and hell yeah I do think...

The world is not made up of enemies and friends. Anyone can screw you over it's just dependent on how far they'll take it and what'd be the catalyst. Projection is a weird one. Like yesterday, someone I know looked like they wanted to punch me, so I punched myself chipping a bit of my mandible...

You deserve better. I am a sufferer of cptsd and no frigging way would I ever use it as an excuse to treat someone like that. This is your life too

My sons foster father ( a Fair man who did right by my son) passed away yesterday, one year after my son moved in with him his wife and his grandson. I am going to visit my son today and will do all I can to help with the transition to life without steve(although my cautiously spiritual side...

I threw away some of my bigger hide my body cloths. I'm now only wearing one size to big for me on the bottom half and two sizes to big on the top half. The top half is a bigger issue cos as a size four d cup unless I create a tent with my top by not letting it come in underneath the I'm scared...

There is motivation and that's what's getting you through feeling like this. Motivation to feel something other than the waves of pain and numbness when even your pain gives up. There is motivation because you are not ready to give up on this feeling passing and if you can hold on and distract...

Too much boiling water in the kettle your brain being the kettle. You can either tip it out or cool it down but you can't leave it in there at that temperature. If you tip it out around people who can't handle it granted bystanders will get burnt but you can't keep adding cold water as the...

I've started scrubbing the top layers of my skin of in the bath again. Triggered by lung infection just recovered from stationary finchlet loses skin layers. Researching the non rude type of self massage to slow down the red raw. Infections better as of several hours ago maybe I should get out...

Food playing on my mind right now just the desire to not put stuff in my body so let's change this up a bit and talk about food in a positive way with healthy winter snack and meal recipes. I'm such a shit cook so anyone up for going first? I will learn fro m your wisdom and share my own ideas.

Hi you awesome people I'm finding this thread so helpful and am terrified of sounding patronising here as I'm sure you all know the dangers of excessive insulin but please please trust me cos I know personally how rough this is but please please take this health warning seriously cos I'm...

Woah I've just witnessed way to much bullying on this thread. I think I just remembered why I quit this forum the first time round. ByrnesT my husband is in a similar ish position to you and if he was judged and grilled for reaching out for help to mend us there would be hell to pay. Brush it of...

I was tube fed for a few years as a child and homeless in my teens and early twenties. I think I must have some kind of body distortion on top of the eating crap as I'm 5"7 (5"8 when I heave out of my submissive stoop but that seems to have become somewhat ingrained despite hardcore stretching)...

Sorry that my last reply didn't take into account the volume of the noise being a trigger I know only that continued for days it drains as ll ability to think. I am as sufferer and on this bit of the site to get a better understanding of my husbands reactions to my symptoms. I stand by what I...

My husband screams but I love him and understand why. Frustration is physically and emotionally demanding for a man and yet still he stays with me. It's not as black and white as some are making out, partners of people with ptsd have just as much right to have valid needs and support as anyone...

The quest for numb oblivion seems to be something most of us share. I'm going to stop trying to feel numb now and try to feel something different.

I feel like a weirdo now because when circumstances are trigger I tend to use my anorexia which I was hospitalized with on and of when the abuse was happening to feel more in control. I'll generally only starve myself down to six stone now then I'll find another coping mechanism. (please don't...

I stopped lying when I was 25. The best lesson I ever learned. Now I only sort of know who I am and what I want. I'm studying and in regular contact with my kids. Bring my husband into the equation and I don't have a f*cking clue what the hell I'm doing. Exhausting myself trying to make him...

RAAH! The constant dram a that is keep in a suitable (or just any roof over your head) GRrrr

It's not legal here but I've used it twice in small doses eked out over 48 hours and have been able to think clearly and rationally about subjects I can't normally even let my brain approach and learnt lessons that have stayed with me and I have used in life so I would defo try it t again but...

Respect. Strong attitude to have. Correct one to I guess but then you feel a huge responsibility as a wife to provide sex. Our situation mimics yours in many ways. My husband is understandably dissatisfied l. It's been months since we've had sex and I feel like a sadist that I feel relief from...

Sorry I think I f*cked up at the beginning of my post because I didn't clarify that my husband is not one of my abusers, in fact he will be by my side facing them today. Yes the rest of the post was about our marraige and yes the situation is still happening but I'm determined to stick by him...

I am to face my abusers on Monday in mediàtion for my daughter. I will be brave enough despite my marraige starting to crumble around me when I'm supposed to be strong and stable. My inability to be free in the bedroom has slowly turned my husband from the most kind, caring wonderful man I...

FRIDAY, you mention symptom crashing when you've established a routine. I used to go off the rails pretty much every time my life got settled enough to enable me to establish a routine u ntill i realized my subconscious brain was protesting against the routines my conscious was trying to...

Excersise makes me emotionly and physically stronger if I do something different everyday but it makes me go of the rails and triggers my recurring ED if I do reps or climb the same place I did the day before etc. Variety turns excersise from a harmful obsession to a mood stabilizer that...