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Me too Safenow. I am glad you are up and about too. :) Best wishes Saffy :)

Yep I can certainly relate to that Phillipa in every way :) When I realised this with mine I was relieved at knowing that I am not bad at all, in fact I was arguing because I would not let her manipulate me (even though I did not realise this was the problem at the time) this caused the...

Thanks Safenow. It is definitely a learning curve and goes to prove it is can be learnt. I think very carefully about any negatives thoughts that come into mind and send them away immediately if they are irrationally based on the past. I think the main thing is learning to trust my own...

HI All It is so interesting to read about all our stories and how we all, at some time, can wade in uninvited. IF, like me, you like to help people I think you have to remember why you are doing it. IS it to save them? It it to boost your own ego or esteem? Is it to take over because...

That is great sheila, it will help a lot, and she could always ring you back if you run out of credit :) It is so easy to get out of a contact routine, especially if some thing changes that like your course :) It sounds like you are back on the road to being closer again. So pleased for...

Hi Phillipa Thanks for sharing. :) I have done much the same as by choice estranged myself from my family too. I do not expect them to do anything now so am not disappointed with them for not doing what I thought was expected from them as parents. They were bad role models, as you...

I understand everything you wrote. you are not alone :) Complete bum holes most people are, or at least the ones I used to attract. Now think sod them I am sick of trying to please someone who is never going to be satisfied. They are not worth my time and effort and I certainly do not...

How do you see your father and brothers now Phillipa? out of interest. Does their actions still bother you or have you come to the same conclusions that I have? Sorry if this open old wounds you do not need to answer if you do not wish :) best wishes Saffy :)

This is very interesting to read. Circa47 Have you ever heard of the term 'someone coming out with sympathy'? Like a father who has the same symptoms as his pregnant wife. I read a psychological article about it and this bit reminded me of your situation. The study suggest that it is...

The best way to get the sender back is not to read them, delete them and never ever respond. You are bigger and better than this. Send her to see Jeremy Kyle lol ;) Saffy :)

Your mutual friends can make their own minds up cannot they? She has no power over who you see or who they see. She is again manipulating the situation to get her own way and is afraid they will like you more, which is probably the case if she is what she is. Let her throw her toys out...

Hi Joseph_PDX Have you ever watched eternal sunshine of a spotless mind? Acceptance for the way she is and acceptance of the decision you have made not to go back can be a final disclosure for you. She is what she is however frustrating and angry that makes you feel. The realisation...

Hi soul_echoes Firstly welcome to the forum. :) After reading what you have said you have to try and separate sex with the other realities of the relationship. Being responsible and prioritise with the finances is part of a mature relationship and must be dealt with. While you are...

Phew that must feel like such a weight is off your shoulders too. Acceptance is a hard thing to do and we are all very proud that you have done this. It will help you focus on more positive things :) Well done :) Best wishes Saffy :)

How is that working out Crazyhorse? Sometimes letting rip about feelings can help but I understand what you mean. :) I hope things are more open and supportive at home for you :) best wishes Saffy :)

Well on a practical and monetary note it probably is good news as getting help financially will ease some problems. But that sounds like something my parents would have said, he seems to have forgotten the emotional support people need at times like this too, which is actually priceless and...

It is a horrible feeling isn't it Philippa. :( I hated it and throughout my time of being ignored and pushed to the side lines I always believed it was because it was me. I was not worth their time or effort. (I am an only child though so less competition in that way). I thought it was...

Well done Sheila :) Don't assume though, you are over thinking things and jumping to conclusions ;) Don't worry, I do it also, but am getting better ;) best wishes Saffy :)

I would err on caution about making things up to get out of things. When will it end? You cannot be on antibiotics forever. One excuse after the other may not help at all. For me I would feel like a fraud and fake if I lied to get out of something like this. Being in your truth is more...

Assert your wishes by saying that you do not mind coming with them but you expect them to respect your wishes in that you do not want to get drunk. You do not like being drunk or the feeling of being drunk. If they continue to expect you to get drunk with them you will change you mind and...

Hi Sheila It does not sound the 65 sister is doing it to go further in a career but more to occupy and entertain her own mind and keep her spirits up. Lots of people decide to 'train' in something else later in life, but this could be more about using the mind rather than sitting at home...