I Have Reached Acceptance Of My Situation At Long Last.

[Deleted member 12723]

I have finally reached acceptance of my husbands illness. I will not be defeated by it.

He is having a bad day and I am not taking it personally. I keep telling myself it is the disease and the husband I once loved is gone. I have accepted the whole situation.

I called members services of my HMO and they have no services for us that is covered. I do have hospice for six months that is covered. My brother in law and my sister in law are making calls to medicare for me to see if there are any options which I doubt.

I will have to take this one step at a time. It is up to me. I am in control of my husband now and it is up to me to give him a quality of life. I feel a lot better . This is not going to defeat me. I accept it in all of it agony. I feel pretty good about this and I think it is a milestone for me.

 

[safenow]

Congrats, gizmo. Well done. I am so proud of you. I hope your brother-in-law and sister can find you some help.

 

[Ice_Fire]

(((((Gizmo)))))

 

[amethist]

You are stronger than you think Gizmo, you will cope with all of this and what ever else this brings up.

 

[therapybankrupt]

Wow what acceptance! Congrats Gizmo you are quite a lady! I think sometimes the fight is just to exhausting! I am glad you have the support of your inlaws and when the time is right hospice will be a godsend! Hang in there!

Tb

 

[discarded]

Proud of you Gizmo, it can't be easy for you. Great that your brother-in-law is ringing around for you. Stay positive and try not to let the stress of it all drag you down. ((((Hugs))))

 

[ms spock]

He is having a bad day and I am not taking it personally. I keep telling myself it is the disease and the husband I once loved is gone. I have accepted the whole situation.

I am glad that you have gotten to the point of seeing it as the disease. Accepting the husband that you have loved is gone is a tough one.

Can you get respite care gizmo? In Australia we have respite care for two weeks several times per year.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I called member services today and medicare and senior advantage do not cover any assisted living services. I will have to find someone and pay out of pocket and I do not know if I can afford that or not.

My brother in law and sister in law are calling medicare for me looking for services for us. I have not heard back from them yet. I am hopeful that they help me to find some sort of respite care.

I do get hospice care for the last six months of his life. That is covered. Pretty sad huh?

 

[Sailorgal]

(((Gizmo)))

I know you are overloaded. I know there are a million things on your mind. I know that at any moment things can pop. BUT....there is definitely a strength in you that was not there a month ago. Even when you feel weak and tired, it's OK. It's normal given what you are handling. You are doing an amazing job moving forward to be strong for your hubby, yourself, and your family. Leaning on others is not weakness. Crying and venting is not weakness. It's all about needing fresh air to reenergize.

Watching a loved one fade is not easy, especially when you have a direct hand in their care. I don't know how I managed, I just know God was there for me. I don't even remember the days. There will be days you will fall apart. There will be days you will be in denial. There will be days you will truly be OK and can handle your hubby, the house, and then some! I know this sounds weird but....do what makes you happy around him. Talk about things that make you laugh and smile. You can't change him or his situation but you can choose to make it as enjoyable as possible. And don't feel guilty for doing so. Even if he doesn't remember or realize it, you do. You will remember these moments with him. It will matter more to you than to him.

 

[saffy]

Phew that must feel like such a weight is off your shoulders too. Acceptance is a hard thing to do and we are all very proud that you have done this. It will help you focus on more positive things :)

Well done :)

Best wishes
Saffy :)

 

[Britt.f7]

Gizmo, call the senior services in your area. They may have some good suggestions or ideas for respite care(which may be out of pocket). Sometimes you can find volunteer groups in your area. These people come on certain days of the week just to give you some relief, so you can go out for those frappes without worry. That is, when it gets to that point.

It is definitely a good idea to check with senior services either through your town or county. I had to do that for my grandma.

My heart and many hugs are with you!

 

[71nothing]

Glad to hear it gizmo! I pray for your continued strength. You are being so strong through all this and you will get through because of your strength.

If you have an area Office of the Aging in your area they should be able to help you with free or low cost respite care. They may be able to help with other things such as advocacy with insurance companies when needed, meals, or just general support.

It's so great to hear your updates so keep us posted.