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Good call FridayJones. Wait until you are calmer. As long as your wife knows you love and desire her she will understand a one-off PTSD trip into the weeds of insanity. We all have them. You can help her understand that we get triggered without warning, from forces we neither chose nor...

Yes! And when you have been traumatized and there are trust issues facing old age is really scary because you need a support network, and may not have one

My husband and I both have CPTSD. We are both older middle-aged, and have healed enough to know that a huge number of our life decisions were ill-advised and didn't result in a well-planned life. We have been married one year, and are beginning to plan our retirement. He never expected to...

I re-read your post, so I think you will have to be the one to manage her expectations that you find her super attractive and love that she initiated sex with you. Sex works well when partners lighten up, which can be hard if you are coming to the marital bed with some anxiety. If my husband...

Don't worry! This will be fine. Triggers happen, and the beautiful thing is that you fully recognize that this is the root cause. Sometimes when my husband touches my side I push him away hard because it's where my ex used to poke me, and I hated it. I definitely do not have your history of...

You can't change what you don't acknowledge. He won't do therapy. He looks to me to provide the information on PTSD, will not research himself. He will read -- eagerly -- what I provide, and has made incredible strides. This is a problem in our relationship. Hypervigilance can be lessened...

When your spouse has CPTSD too there are a bunch of complexities -- and a lot is also simplified as we understand each other really well. In our marriage my husband can't seem to let go of his hypervigilance when it comes to trusting me. For example, we were watching TV in the bedroom last...

You sound like me. Use nature and particularly relationships with the animal kingdom -- birdfeeders, household pets, seek and observe wildlife -- to heal. Walk and exercise and blow the psychic garbage out of the pores. Good food and good sleep....I do use that good old natural herbal smoke...

WillyKat I love the idea of going from hot to cool -- your cool system. The level of mindfulness required to anticipate and "surf" over the bullcrap is incredibly daunting, and basically our only option. I have chosen not to medicate (tried various options, too numbing and unnatural), so...

My husband and I both have C-PTSD, and we have been each other's lifesaver when it comes to identifying trauma-induced behaviors and managing their progression. This weekend I got triggered -- surprisingly -- by some distant family members and it happened so fast, and so completely that I feel...

Everybody thinks I am very social and outgoing but I am NOT, it is a well-practiced front -- don't have to explain this here. At events I go to the bathroom constantly, to hide and count the minutes until it's done. Such a waste, but I can't comfortably be social for hours on end without...

Hi, I saw my former in-laws (my parents for 20 years) for the first time since 2009 at my kids' hs graduation. They were pretty cold. Add my ex's new wife, and the reception was chilly. We were scheduled to all go to dinner over the weekend but I couldn't. As soon as I got ONE WHIFF of...

Recognizing the isolation is a big step forward. This site has helped me heal more than any therapy. Yes you are isolated because of your disease BUT YOU'RE NEVER ALONE. We are here. I have cut ties and suffered from a virtual complete crumbling of my family that is supposed to support me...

New laws: you act up you get triggered. That's punishment guaranteed to keep us from speeding or jaywalking!

I have decided to create my new family circle. My husband and 3 kids, best friend and her mom, outreach to Others later as I choose new intimates. I think my siblings will never work for me, I am done trying to educate and inform them about my c-PTSD. They don't have it, only I do. Has anyone...

Me too, both hubby and I have c-ptsd. He is 10 years older. For the first 5 years living together our fights were horrific, lasting for days. Then as he began to understand his triggers he began recovering more quickly (1-2 days) and I would still suffer for a week. Now I have gained...

I will look for this source. Honestly I was searching for PTSD life expectancy, relative to how hard our disease is on our systems. We don't live as long. I'll look, it was a credible source, because so many are not!

My throat closes and/or my airway constricts when I have a surge of anxiety. Read recently that PTSD sufferers have a very high rate of COPD. I keep an inhaler close by just in case.

Right Lewa? Recognizing CPTSD turned my life from a brittle but sort-of-normal reality to an isolated scaredy-cat who spends WAY too much time managing my diseased brain. There has to be a way to be part of the world without being hurt by the world.

Make very few social obligations, but those you make, GO. I could have awritten your post, word for word. I think we can assume that new people with whom we socialize (where socialize = begin to trust, just a little tiny bit) actually want to get to know you, and they like our company. This...

Running 2x as hard and as well as anyone else, and still not getting what you need. I know. Me too. I don't have relationships with my family, I have one friend who lives far away. The only path I can manage is to focus on what I can give through my work, and not what I need from others...

I want people to allow me to be myself. I put on a public face at work...with my kids....even with my husband more than I wish. I desperately want my siblings to understand and acknowledge that my path is not like theirs and to include me again in the family dynamic in a way that works for...

I did not volunteer to go to war. I was born into it. If you sign up for the military and bad things happen, that is part of the deal. It is different. It is a risky choice, being a solider. Or a cop, or firefighter. A soldier's trauma was entirely avoidable, so for me it is the voiceless...

I feel pushed into adopting a role that does not fit me by my family members. When I pull away they pursue me. I feel as though I am given very limited options for acceptance. They would disagree. I don't know what to do, because I desperately want a functioning and supportive family. Maybe...

The veracity of the memories is a critical point and I appreciate your narrative. When a child processes an event it is according to very limited experience, and (in your case) a 5'11" tall man looked HUGE to you, but he was no giant, really -- your analogy is a good metaphor, as I increasingly...