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I did some self harm as a teen as well as suicide attempts but that was a LONG time ago and it was situational. My emotional regulation was worse off meds... before meds I was dx's mood disorder nos prior to clarifying the ptsd dx. Very rapid mood swings. Frantic efforts to avoid being...

I also do something like this. Where I say something and forget and say it again a minute later just to have the person tell me that I had just said it. I often go through times that I forget to take my medication and am not sure how often I've bathed or when I've eaten. Not sure how much of...

I dissociate in several ways. My primary way is kind of like a foggy tunnel vision where I stare off everything seems darker and foggier until it narrows into a small space of sharp contrast and clearness. I call this "becoming one" with the item or space I'm zoned in on. Sound also seems to...

I don't have a pre-trauma self either. Multiple traumas and ongoing traumas throughout my child hood and teen years as well as abandonment by 2 sets of parents and a system that was built to protect children. Considering abandonment is a core issue with BPD it would be a wonder that I don't...

There are so many overlaps with this disorder and it's clear that I have C-Ptsd. In the past I've questioned BPD (borderline personality disorder) but but have had several Ts including current T rule it out and say that my symptoms are severe PTSD symptoms. Last week T and I were talking and she...

Please don't take my experience as any kind of recommendation. Taking medication that has not been prescribed to you can be dangerous! Stimulant medication can be ADDICTIVE and it can cause SERIOUS HEART PROBLEMS. There are lots of other negative side effects that can happen. I felt I needed...

He usually has a few left over each month so I always save them for emergencies like running out! So the ones have taken have been "extras". I'm afraid to talk to the doctor because I don't want to be judged or labeled a drug abuser. :/

"survival mode"

I don't have ADHD but my son does. I'm ashamed to admit that I have taken a few and it helps me prioritize what needs to get done when I'm overwhelmed and can't find where to start. For some reason I also feel more present and have more positive interactions with my family (like...

I remember to give my son his medicine but somehow manage to forget mine. We're supposed to take it at the same time everyday. We have the daily medication boxes sitting right next to each other. I've forgotten to give him his maybe 2x in the last year. Sometimes I go through stretches of not...

I believe in "God" as a higher power but not in the same way as I did when I was young.

I do not want to live to 108! lol

It could be blood pressure. Maybe the thought of doing those things raises your anxiety and stress level which in turn can raise your blood pressure. You want to live to 108?!

Wow. Great thread. So much of the dissociative experiences mentioned here resonated deeply with me. It was very emotional to read and I kept finding myself in tears for all of us and this struggle. PTSD is hard enough to deal with and the dissociative responses make it sometimes feel as though...

I'm curious as what your diagnosis is now that so much time has passed. I have self administered the MID and have had similar results taken 2x 1st result DID 2nd result Dissociative Diagnosis Deferred. I scored VERY high on defensiveness as well. I also relate to these things that you said...

I think a lot of us with PTSD are haunted by the choices we made that led up to our being traumatized or choices that were made during our traumas that led to worse things happening to ourselves or people we cared about. I definitely see this symptom of being unable to make choices or being...

I am estranged/ separated from my adoptive parents who abandoned me at a child. I can only imagine how you are feeling. I think I would feel the same way. I am sorry for your loss. I wish he had been the father you deserved. It is hard to mourn the loss of a living parent. I know this well. I...

I've given lamictal praise without mentioning that before... I think most people realize that. It was just a weird after thought of my agreement with you. I'm glad it worked so well for you too! I hope OP finds their "miracle" drug. :)

I agree! Life saver for me. But every med works differently for different people.

I started lamictal MANY years ago and have been on and off multiple times. I have not had any negative side effects. This is something you should definitely talk to your doctor about. That said, did your doctor mention any side effects from lowering your Zyprexa dose? I know nothing about it but...

I'm not sure if this is what happened to me but I grieve deeply about the loss of my childhood, parents, friends, safety, etc. I think it may be my core ptsd symptom - even though grieving isn't actually considered a symptom. Interesting concept that my part of my grief could be an expression...

:( I don't think that recovering from and healing from PTSD should involve any taking away, only letting go and accepting and embracing. You've already had so much taken away from you. I think that part of you probably got scared and went into hiding. Talking gently to that part of you and...

This is what I was thinking as well.

I can tell you one thing I'm mad as hell about.... The "normal" life I've missed out on because of this God forsaken disorder. There. My list has begun.

Yes, the exercise is about 10 things in general. Just thinking about writing the list is making me very anxious.