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I have weekly sessions so not very long til my next ones. No working on anger yet but yesterday when talking about how I should be angry with my abusers my mind completely cut off from emotion and basically reality. So I'm sure that's why. Good point. They would all (my traumas) make me angry...

Is it normal for a T to encourage anger... like "mad as hell anger" towards the people who hurt me? I'm supposed to do homework and write down 10 things that make me "mad as hell". I have no problem with the wording but I don't think there are 10 things and I don't know if that's exactly...

So this weeks therapy dissociation was complete disconnection from my emotions along with derealization. We hit on an overwhelmingly emotional topic and suddenly all I could do was smile and laugh. To make matters worse my brain slows down, it's hard to understand the meaning of peoples...

<3 It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane. <3

Sometimes too many choices can become overwhelming. It all goes back to the stress cup. Normal stress + PTSD + tiny bit of Negative stress = Overload. Picking out clothes or choosing a brand of toothpaste may seem like such an itty bitty normal everyday stressor that most people don't even...

My husband is amazing. He has been with me through this awful journey through twists and turns darkness and light. He has seen the worst and best of me. He accepts me for who I am and who I was.He has learned to support me through this in ways that surprise my and fill my heart with appreciation...

I'm just now learning this. I think it's important to remember those. I blocked most of mine out because to me they represented what I lost, but they don't really do they?

Count down! In 5 years could we be PTSD free?!!!! FDA approval of the treatment for PTSD is on the horizon. Treating PTSD with MDMA-Assisted Psychotherapy - Home Seriously, the thought brings me to hopeful tears. :)

Yes, I've played memory games. I am also an avid reader (sometimes spending hours a day reading). Supposedly reading improves a persons memory. I think in my case it's more from unintentional memory blocking and dissociation. I'm hoping that working through those issues will help someday.

Are you noticing as memory comes back that your current memory is improving too?

My memory is awful. Throughout most of my childhood and teens my memories are in flashes with little detail. A few are relatively graphic/ clear (primary traumas are the worst since they come as flashbacks - most of that is emotion though). I guess memories are supposed to come with more...

Yes, they are hard to find! I did a search and found only 4 within a 2 hour drive from where I live! The closest was about 45 minutes away and I found out that he closed his practice in order to teach. He was however able to give me this woman's name and location which is only half an hour from...

I have an appointment with a T who specializes/ has expertise in dissociative disorders next month to see what she thinks is going on. I'm certain I have some form of structural dissociation but know it's not DID. I think the dissociation has impeded my healing for years and hope to get some...

That's what happens to me too.

I hope you can find your way out of that situation. You should not be being abused and your healing cannot begin until you are in a safe place.

What kind of therapy did you do? Did you work with a specialist?

I always get confused by the differences between derealization - depersonalization. Sounds like the 2 can happen together or separately. I don't have either as a disorder... the episodes are not daily and usually not weekly. But they have become more often with therapy (with this therapist)...

That's amazing! #PTSDGoals ;)

I believe flashbacks can be delayed. Sometimes something will happen and I might feel a little off about it, maybe a little moody or down because of it and then hours later I'll have a complete breakdown. It usually seems like it's for no reason but of course there is one. It's good that you're...

I posted the other day about being "stuck in my head" meaning unable or difficulty moving or speaking. Sometimes everything looks relatively normal just a touch different and other times it's definitely got the foggy tunnel vision where everything looks weird. For at least 10 minutes (no idea...

Doing a little better but still disoriented a bit. I don't really understand why it happens. It's happened a few other times. Thank you.

I want to talk. But I won't let myself. I want to ask my husband for help that I need a hug but I can't say anything. I can come here right now to type though. But I can't type him a note and I can't type something to show him. I'm stuck in a sad unhappy place and want to get out. I know I will...

Oh, I just reread and saw that you do have a therapist! Disregard the end of my last post! :D

Hi, A lot of us get "worse" around the holidays. PTSD lowers our regular stress tolerance and with holidays being stressful enough as they are, it can just put us over the top. I'm glad your considering medication since it sounds like you're hitting a rough patch. It's better to get ahead of the...

Unless the person has complex ptsd from childhood traumas or simply ptsd from childhood traumas. Then the symptoms of avoidance would be there their whole life.