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In the early days of therapy, H used what little I had shared against me. He would use it against me to win an arguement /difference of opinion over how to teach our #2 daughter, for example, what 4yr olds need to learn like table manners. He would say, 'Just because you had a lousy childhood...

How kind of you Hashi. No, I am not OK emotionally and spiritually. My health has been poor, exhausted all the time. I saw my Dr. today and got some blood tests and a flu shot. It seems to me that my flashbacks are more frequent and the "hangover" time may take days rather than hours. I try to...

Hi CherryOrchard, I hear you, 'immensely painful' is true and at the time it seems necessary to deny the truth because the pain is too high ( I understand from where is sit, which means I may be out in left field.) In order for me to get through every day things like school, play with...

From H: We have paid for more than 20 yrs of therapy with different Ts and you're not getting any better. Why don't you stop therapy. sorry can't complete his righ now

I'm glad you chose to join this site. You will find support and ideas that may be just what you need. It isss good that you have a non-abusing family that cares about you. That is truely a gift. All real love is a gift.

Dear Beetle, I am so glad to have you on the forum. You are so welcome here. Even your struggles, should you choose to post them, will help others with their own troubles. You have years of experience which you will find appropriate to post on other people's posts as you browse around. WELCOME.

Ah, I weep with you.:arghh;

Congratulations on working hard with your T. It is hard work. I find it exhausting. Depending on what we uncover, it can make me feel so sad. These days, I think that is a feeling that goes with the experience. I can encourage you to keep going. Though it is hard, there will be more and more...

What an aweful place to be. I'm a mother too. Getting angry didn't help me. How mean your ex is. How much pain does he think you can bear.... For you physical symptoms you could try having so clear soup or tea to help with the swallowing, a warm tub bath to relax your body. Do you have a...

Looking forward to seeing a old friend for lunch today!

yummy

a hot pot

Pissed, closed down, sad,

Wow, I really get that. And it is true that all the King's soldiers and all the Kings men can't put you or me back together again. I hear the rage and anger at being injured and left out in the cold. There is no medic coming to pick you up and carry you to safety. The war now is inside you. It...

Thanks for trying this forum for human support. I find that not seeing the person I am speaking with is a hardship as body language communicates more than the words. Because of my abuse many of the meanings of certain words have been distorted. Welcome Yugogypsy

Marf, that's a great idea. Keifer, this would protect your needs and also record what happened. There is nothing like a good buddy or family member at your side to give you more confidence. BTW is there a different hospital you could use?

I'd want to smash through the wall too. Have you wondered what 'the wall' is for you? PTSD is a condition that we have to learn to cope with. It is different for everyone. Maybe you would like to start a personal diary on this forum, in the Trauma Diary section. Many times writing out what you...

People not developing a single self happens when trauma starts very young. I too had a discussion with Anthony about this. It seems as though he doesn't believe in DID/MPD. I agree that we each have only one body. Different persona have their own particular attributes, likes, dislikes, stamina...

moods

May God's love for all of you direct your steps as the gentle shepherd leads you.

I think most of us have turtle shells that we can pull into and be safe. We may name that place differently. For me, as part Wampanoag, Turtle clan are healers. I had a good elder who loved me and saw right through the abuse. She would only call me, little Tony, after my Dad. I have a...

May I pray for you and your family?

Holy Day

Cornucopia overflowing

@Echo Thank you. Every kindness renews me.