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@Abstract If ever you feel frustrated, just look at the last word you wrote.

I do agree with this. However I also would like to carry the metaphor a bit further. Regardless of all of our choices, what evil we unleash when we open that box, there is always one thing left inside. Hope. Never forget that.

That is an awesome attitude. :)

I am just now reading all of what you had to say. I think it is very couragous of you to be willing to share all of this. And before I finished I just wanted to say Welcome! Once I finish reading I will likely edit this post to say more (According to my wife and the rest of humanity, I seem...

Hi Reds. I am so sorry right now for how you are feeling. Sometimes based on what you say, I wonder if you are an identical version of me in a different universe that has found a way to contact me on the other side. First off, and this is most important - if this is true, you owe me...

I like what you said a lot there. Actually I like everything you said in your post, and can't agree more.

Thanks - I gotcha. EDIT: I tend to say the same thing about money. It cannot buy you happiness, but it does afford you options.

DaleD, Something that really helped me get through my emotions - and let me tell you, mentioning this to combat troops recently after their TOD I was looked at pretty much like...well, let's just say I wasn't viewed as the most manly man in the group. :) However, I said this to them, and some...

Wow. That sentence is a mouthful. :) It took me a second to digest it, but.... *tries to comprehend once again* Are you saying that the ability to create affords you better choices in your life? Forgive me, I am tired. I haven't slept well in the last 30 years. :)

Sometimes, if I am alone, I actually yell at myself to...anti-trigger me, if you will. I will just say, "BOB! GET OUT OF BED!" (that is the non-explicit version). It startles me, but in a different way. Kinda snaps me back into reality. I save it for bad days, but it has come in handy.

You have a soul. Rather, I like to believe I have a soul, otherwise I wouldn't have regrets. It says a lot, I think, about a person's character.

Just remember, if you can't beat 'em...wait, you are PTSD survivor, you already did. The rest is just all about puffing your chest and being like, "What, yo? You think YOU got game?" :)

I try not to get too frustrated at the mental health community. I am starting to try and look at things with a more...well, on a larger timeline. PTSD has been around for (likely) as long as primates have, give or take that 5-20 year period where it took the first one of them to "break" that...

I believe if you couldn't handle the difficulties, you wouldn't be able to have just said what you did. You should be so pleased with that choice. :) *offers you a smile* I know those feelings, but I think we can do this. Get better. We've gotten here. You have my support.

I think of what you said, and totally agree. I also try to remember that no matter how reclusive I may feel (generally speaking) the only one preventing me from going outside and taking a walk is me. As far as in-person interaction versus on-line interaction, I also can relate to that, in a...

As a lifelong infrastructure engineer, I have NEVER trusted coders. All they do is release their poorly tested code into the wild and make me fix it. I never wanted to code, I had to to survive. *chuckles* It may be part of my PTSD. :)

(And BBT - he's something, but he ain't no NPH. :) ) (Dang, now I have to out myself to my wife. It was easier telling her I had PTSD than I am gay. :) )

My friend, you get my many props. *smiles as promised!*

Indeed, digger1. For a nice distraction I will PM you a fairly funny story about this. :)

Something that has been helping me a lot is actually creating a dialogue with my PTSD. Here is the link to the posts I made earlier. https://www.myptsd.com/threads/an-open-letter-to-my-ptsd.38165/#post-616880

It requires a leap of faith. Something us scientists are not so good at.

This feels familiar to me. I do similar things. By that I mean, PTSD...the "D" part...it is a disorder. It will cause your mind to not make things of sense that should by the very laws of science make absolute sense. In the recent past, it has helped me tremendously to forget the logical...

I am getting better every day. My last trigger only took 4 months to get out of hand. :) And even in that, there were many other factors than my PTSD that played a part. So yeah, I am learning every day.

I am sincerely not trying to get too personal, but I think it may help a lot if you let him know that your feelings for him are because of who he is now, not the man he was - There may be a bit of what I guess I could best describe as "Hero Worship." I get that. Unfortunately a PTSD sufferer...

This....Wow. You have no idea how much I can relate to this. I went through that process as well. It was actually combined with another process - forgive me for not remembering what it was, I will likely research it tonight. I found a very similar result to what you described. The fears and...