Hi Reds. I am so sorry right now for how you are feeling. Sometimes based on what you say, I wonder if you are an identical version of me in a different universe that has found a way to contact me on the other side.
First off, and this is most important - if this is true, you owe me blueprints. Show your work. :) :) (my poor attempt at making you smile right now...:) )
I was in a really dark place two weeks ago. Like you, the stress and pressures I was under, they were enough to make non PTSD sufferers lose it.
And lose it I did. :) But do you know why I smile? Because I am reminded of something I learned in AA about relapses. They are simply a part of that disease. If you apply that to PTSD, it's reasonable to conclude we are going to go through episodes from time to time.
Yeah, it blows chunks. :)
My setback was major as well. And I had no idea how to get out of it - it was probably my worst experience to date since I have been actively addressing my PTSD.
Then I came here.
And talked to people, like you. And for no good reason, it got...*takes a huge breath*
It got easier.
So Red, in a way, it was very much you that got me out of my anxiety, my "fear hole of morbid existence" (Yes...I actually named it that.) I'm still nowhere near where I want to be, but I enjoyed the sun today. I just took a moment to feel it's warm embrace (it was a clear day here - I didn't mean to wax poetic, it was the romantic in me...).
I guess I want you to know I think you will pull yourself out of this. But I also want you to know that you that your help was instrumental in dragging me out of my doldrums, and I am quite grateful.
So you get better, or I will make my posts to you exceedingly longer and longer until all you can do is not worry about anything and read. :)
