totally get the zero trust for people idea. I am also no contact with parents altho who cares? they are dead now.
our parents are our most trusted critiques as we form our beliefs about ourselves and when they show us we are not liked or acceptable to the standards it sets us up for a life of sensitivity to anything that might show us how others view us, how we are doing with the tribe. If we get negative feedback and criticism it isnt measured against a strong sense of positive self, it feels like more of that old regular negative feedback we are accustomed to.
I think that a healthy, growing sense of being ok is in direct conflict with any new negative feedback and a lack of trust towards people that seem to exude criticism and disregard others with no empathy for anyone is an almost automatic reaction that follows.
i hope as i become less willing to let criticism get past the filter of knowing I am ok and worthwhile i can become more trusting, but empathy is rare and criticism seems to be a national past time so WTF, maybe that automatic jump to a chronic lack of trust is a good thing at the end of the day.
our parents are our most trusted critiques as we form our beliefs about ourselves and when they show us we are not liked or acceptable to the standards it sets us up for a life of sensitivity to anything that might show us how others view us, how we are doing with the tribe. If we get negative feedback and criticism it isnt measured against a strong sense of positive self, it feels like more of that old regular negative feedback we are accustomed to.
I think that a healthy, growing sense of being ok is in direct conflict with any new negative feedback and a lack of trust towards people that seem to exude criticism and disregard others with no empathy for anyone is an almost automatic reaction that follows.
i hope as i become less willing to let criticism get past the filter of knowing I am ok and worthwhile i can become more trusting, but empathy is rare and criticism seems to be a national past time so WTF, maybe that automatic jump to a chronic lack of trust is a good thing at the end of the day.
