Undiagnosed I think CPTSD completely messed up my brain development but I'm not sure how

[Munir]

Context: 15 yrs old, male, not officially diagnosed but had most of the symptoms/experiences, "gifted" individual, having trouble readjusting.

Story: About a year ago, my father started to verbally and physically abuse me as I was having trouble in school at the time due to executive functioning issues. I never got diagnosed with PTSD, but I had a lot of the symptoms of it and other disorders (hyperawareness, reckless thoughts/behavior, developing avoidance tacts, knowing when the next storm (i.e. argument) is coming, maladaptive daydreaming, brief manic periods, I also felt an avoidance towards naturally happy thoughts/sentiments for a while, etc). After the abuse ended, I sort of just grew through the trauma without talking to anyone about it (I did a ton of google research and self reflection over this period) and I lost most of my symptoms, but clearly some of the stuff I went through left my my development and brain function completely messed up. The entire past year has been a huge personal journey for me and I've been going through a "what is wrong with me" type of phase for the entire time. I've been trying to figure out why I completely lost my personality and why I have a very weak personality now, why I feel like I lost my mental sharpness + strong intuition, why I'm so socially inept with others my age and why I'm so self aware and introspective (the latter probably due to me constantly being introspective). I think that certain areas of my brain are hyper/under active, with some being undeveloped since the trauma occurred in a part of my life where tons of development happens. I also don't eat super healthily which is probably adding to the issue. How can I get my brain back on track in terms of development, and who would be qualified to give me answers on what is wrong with me? I just want to go back to being a normal person and enjoying my teenage years but I have no idea how and it's incredibly frustrating and demoralizing when I have no idea how.

TLDR: Teenager had some trauma, developed symptoms of PTSD, eventually grew over it and loss symptoms, now trying to figure out what is wrong with me and how my development was messed up.

 

[Riley Jones]

I'm truly sorry to hear about what you've been through. It sounds like you've faced significant challenges, and it's deeply concerning that these experiences have left you feeling this way. Remember, it's okay to want things to feel normal again, and you're not alone in these feelings.

First and foremost, acknowledging how you're feeling and what you've experienced is a huge step in the healing process. Even if you haven't received a formal diagnosis, the symptoms you're describing can be incredibly distressing. Trauma, especially during important years of brain development, can have complex effects, and there's no quick resolution, but healing is possible with the right support.

Connecting with professionals like psychologists or counselors who specialize in trauma and adolescent mental health can offer insights into your experiences and help you develop strategies to work through them. They can also support you in understanding the changes you've noticed in your personality and social interactions. Sometimes, trauma-focused therapies or counseling that address cognitive and emotional healing could be beneficial.

On the community side, myptsd.com is a resource where individuals dealing with similar feelings and experiences support each other. Engaging with others who understand can be incredibly validating. Though these interactions are supportive, collaborating with a professional who can provide individualized care remains an important step.

Additionally, exploring lifestyle elements such as nutrition, physical activity, and mindfulness can play a complementary role in overall well-being. These elements might not be the entire solution to complex trauma, but they can support your journey to feeling more grounded.

Remember, you're deserving of support, empathy, and understanding. You're not alone in this, and taking steps, even small ones, to seek help and connect with the right resources can pave the way to greater clarity and peace in your life.

 

[thursday]

So sorry to read your story. The teenage years are so precious. Please seek professional help. Remember it wasn't your fault, you didn't deserve what happened. The longer you wait with getting help, the worse you'll get. You might get periods that you function as a "normal" person, but like us (the other people on here) will have to ":play" the game Snakes and Ladders. Because of your age it might take less time and less setbacks for you. You can receive therapy without consent from your parents, because you're 15. This can from age 14.

 

[PamelaS]

Context: 15 yrs old, male, not officially diagnosed but had most of the symptoms/experiences, "gifted" individual, having trouble readjusting.

Story: About a year ago, my father started to verbally and physically abuse me as I was having trouble in school at the time due to executive functioning issues. I never got diagnosed with PTSD, but I had a lot of the symptoms of it and other disorders (hyperawareness, reckless thoughts/behavior, developing avoidance tacts, knowing when the next storm (i.e. argument) is coming, maladaptive daydreaming, brief manic periods, I also felt an avoidance towards naturally happy thoughts/sentiments for a while, etc). After the abuse ended, I sort of just grew through the trauma without talking to anyone about it (I did a ton of google research and self reflection over this period) and I lost most of my symptoms, but clearly some of the stuff I went through left my my development and brain function completely messed up. The entire past year has been a huge personal journey for me and I've been going through a "what is wrong with me" type of phase for the entire time. I've been trying to figure out why I completely lost my personality and why I have a very weak personality now, why I feel like I lost my mental sharpness + strong intuition, why I'm so socially inept with others my age and why I'm so self aware and introspective (the latter probably due to me constantly being introspective). I think that certain areas of my brain are hyper/under active, with some being undeveloped since the trauma occurred in a part of my life where tons of development happens. I also don't eat super healthily which is probably adding to the issue. How can I get my brain back on track in terms of development, and who would be qualified to give me answers on what is wrong with me? I just want to go back to being a normal person and enjoying my teenage years but I have no idea how and it's incredibly frustrating and demoralizing when I have no idea how.

TLDR: Teenager had some trauma, developed symptoms of PTSD, eventually grew over it and loss symptoms, now trying to figure out what is wrong with me and how my development was messed up.

Hi Munir, I am alongside you in cleaning up and sorting out the aftermath of devastation from abuse. Thank you for your detailed description. I’m in my 60s and just now breaking free from the abuse. Will be watching this thread for directions as to how to sort it out. Thanks again for posting and wishing you success in sorting it out and guiding your brain back to normal functioning.

So sorry to read your story. The teenage years are so precious. Please seek professional help. Remember it wasn't your fault, you didn't deserve what happened. The longer you wait with getting help, the worse you'll get. You might get periods that you function as a "normal" person, but like us (the other people on here) will have to ":play" the game Snakes and Ladders. Because of your age it might take less time and less setbacks for you. You can receive therapy without consent from your parents, because you're 15. This can from age 14.

I am constantly reminding myself that I did not do this to myself! Thank you for the validation. I am, however, responsible for cleaning up the mess. Very thankful for this forum to help me sort it out. Best wishes and have an empowered day.

I'm truly sorry to hear about what you've been through. It sounds like you've faced significant challenges, and it's deeply concerning that these experiences have left you feeling this way. Remember, it's okay to want things to feel normal again, and you're not alone in these feelings.

First and foremost, acknowledging how you're feeling and what you've experienced is a huge step in the healing process. Even if you haven't received a formal diagnosis, the symptoms you're describing can be incredibly distressing. Trauma, especially during important years of brain development, can have complex effects, and there's no quick resolution, but healing is possible with the right support.

Connecting with professionals like psychologists or counselors who specialize in trauma and adolescent mental health can offer insights into your experiences and help you develop strategies to work through them. They can also support you in understanding the changes you've noticed in your personality and social interactions. Sometimes, trauma-focused therapies or counseling that address cognitive and emotional healing could be beneficial.

On the community side, myptsd.com is a resource where individuals dealing with similar feelings and experiences support each other. Engaging with others who understand can be incredibly validating. Though these interactions are supportive, collaborating with a professional who can provide individualized care remains an important step.

Additionally, exploring lifestyle elements such as nutrition, physical activity, and mindfulness can play a complementary role in overall well-being. These elements might not be the entire solution to complex trauma, but they can support your journey to feeling more grounded.

Remember, you're deserving of support, empathy, and understanding. You're not alone in this, and taking steps, even small ones, to seek help and connect with the right resources can pave the way to greater clarity and peace in your life.

Thank you for being here to help us all sort this out. You have invaluable insight and information helpful to us all. Have a great day knowing that you are valued and you are helping many people in desperate need of help.