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@Freida that helps so much even if it still sounds like a big process full of trial and error. This When I have tried to come up with some sort of solution like this, he is very skeptical and thinks I can't do it or will get upset no matter what. So I will try to say something like your...

Oh man, that is what I'm trying to get to...some rules and some compromise because I completely get his need to isolate, but it's always out of nowhere and so harsh that in the moment, I forget all about this stuff. If I could have some rules or boundaries or whatever, I really think things...

@PTSDWIFE What did you say to him?

LoveTea, did you say you have spoken to your therapist about this relationship with your supervisor? What does your T say about it? It sounds like you definitely need loving support, but it's hard for a person to be a sole supporter to someone with the amount of needs you seem to have...

Don't beat yourself up about getting emotional. You are human and have emotions and we don't always know the exact right thing to do in any given moment. And it's completely understandable and forgivable. Even your concern for his safety. I do agree to just give him space. Do your best not to...

It also depends on what you mean by "positive result." In my situation, yes, he has come out of isolation or shut outs or whatever and reached out to me several times. But is the result positive? Are we now living happily ever after? No, the cycle continues. He absolutely struggles with...

We just hit the very unhealthy category for the AQI in my location. I didnt expect it to get this bad here.

Yeah, all of these things are getting a bit much to handle. I hope things will start to settle a little bit in the world!

I'm seeing lots stories. They expanded the evacuation route to everyone north of Guerneville road. It is bad. The news said worst fire in CA history. What is going on these days??? Seems we don't have time to get over one disaster before another one hits.

Yes @desiderata310 , I'm pretty sure they were. I'm about 1.5 hours away and I can smell the smoke. It was blowing so fiercely last night I was thinking how stormy it felt. Didn't know about the fires. :(

I want to add here if it hasn't already been said, just ask her. Just be honest with her and be vulnerable if you can be. Tell her you would love for her to be by your side though this if she is able. And if she is unable, you understand. And let her know you are aware of how damaging your...

I agree whole heartedly with leehalf. Thank you so much for sharing @Derek Des

I have been going through the push/pull, shut outs, blocking, and break ups for nearly a year and a half now and I think I finally hit my wall. I put my foot down the other night. If he can't even begin to commit to a compromise or choosing some other way to deal with having me in his life...

I know people here can be pretty blunt, but everyone here is struggling with mental health issues in some capacity or another. I think the reason why some are being so blunt is because how can anyone know the odds of the outcome in your relationship? And I do think PTSD or no PTSD, the odds...

As I have seen here so often, everyone is different. In my situation, when i send anything remotely heavy - say, I am here if you need me can actually be heavy - then that is a no go. I have learned to send very light stuff now and then. Pics or jokes or funny memes. And not a lot of those. He...

I hear You @Bearlinda about not wanting a romantic relationship going forward with your life. It sounds like a great plan! I wish you the very best and lots of strength as you make these changes in your life.

For me, it's all about forcing myself. Working past my fears and insecurities. Being open and honest (as much as I can be) with my feelings and intentions. And, may sound hokey, but also envisioning what I really want and how I want to be. And forgiving myself when I make mistakes. It is hard...

I definitely, 100% think so. It's safe, isn't It? In a sense. Especially if you feel unworthy, as you say. That said I don't want to continue that pattern at all. Trying to get away from that.

Excellent thread.

@Bearlinda I was with my ex for 16 years and he was exactly like that. Exactly. I do feel like I'm not part of anyone's life except for my kid, of course. Because I'm not. I can't call myself a supporter exactly because the sufferer in my life is not having it at the moment, so let's just...

This intense notion is very intriguing! Must explore this. I experience this in my situation with a sufferer and I am a bit intense as well.

This has happened to me too.

Hi Adrian, I have had a similar situation. We are also 50. My sufferer will not say terrible things to me, thankfully, but he will end things, become non responsive, block me, etc. It has taken me a while to figure out the best thing to do, no matter how anxious you feel and upset you both may...

@Willowtree of course it's good to see how our insecurities can get the best of us and we don't feel good about it, but don't beat yourself up about it. You are human and it's natural to feel insecure here and there, and especially in these types of situations. Even when you're aware of things...

I agree with @A concerned spouse but I would first figure out what you really want with him. Considering that he's untreated, plus the prison time you know nothing about, I think you should get clear on this first. Until you know what you want, i would not engage in those negative...