Relationship Exboyfriend moved on to a new relatioship

[Buttercup]

I know people here can be pretty blunt, but everyone here is struggling with mental health issues in some capacity or another.

I think the reason why some are being so blunt is because how can anyone know the odds of the outcome in your relationship? And I do think PTSD or no PTSD, the odds don't look good.

I mean is he in a new relationship? For me to put that on my FB it would have to be pretty serious, but that is just me. Is this something he does lightly? So that is something you can factor in.

So he is not speaking to you and he seems to be in a new relationship, so it does not look good. And it is common for some people with PTSD to jump from relationship to relationship. But that doesn't necessarily mean that is what is happening here.

It totally sucks and i am so sorry you are going through this. I truly think it's time to start the process of moving on from him.

 

[EveHarrington]

Thank you to everyone who replied, As for @EveHarrington, I come across a lot of people l...

Ok.

I understand that you only want support for the way you see things and do not want opinions from sufferers themselves.

I honestly want to challenge this mindset because only believing in what you think you know......won't really help you grow, and prevents you from learning more about ptsd.

Support doesn't mean agreeing with someone even if you have a different opinion.

Good luck. I hope you find what you're looking for.

 

[Sweetpea76]

my heart knows I'm supposed to be in this mans' life.

What does his heart say?

You can pour all your love and effort into a relationship, but it won't work if your partner isn't reciprocating... Be it PTSD related or not.

What are you planning on doing from this point?

 

[WTF Happened]

Hi @KeepingAboveWater

I know how you feel. When I first posted on this board I had to immediately take a long break from it because I was so hurt by the responses I got.

I've chatted with Eve and a few others about this in other threads. In general this blunt advice comes from a good place - they don't want to see you or anyone excuse away bad behavior or hold on to hope only to have your heart broken over and over. In a way it's a kind of tough love, telling you that you deserve better than the treatment you're getting. And remember it comes from a detached place, nobody on here knows you or your situation other than an incomplete summary posted on here. That's why it's always best to take the advice that resonates with you to heart and leave anything that doesn't feel like it applies to you.

I think part of the response you get from sufferers is also a bit of push back - they don't always want their own actions and decisions ascribed to PTSD. Sometimes, yes, the things they do are due to PTSD. But sufferers still have free will, and I'm sure it's frustrating if they make a decision - to leave a relationship because it's best for them, for example - and then have someone say, "No, no, no, that's just your PTSD talking." Of course, neither you or I are saying that about anyone on here, but I can see how sufferers would be sensitive to this.

I think another thing sufferers are sensitive to is how they sometimes have to do things for their own health/survival and shouldn't be made to feel guilty about it. For example, my ex left me saying that she was suicidal, she needs to address a part of her life that she has put off for far too long, things like that. I'm hurt by that, I feel discarded, angry, betrayed, etc. But realistically, is she being malicious? No, she's trying to survive. Quite frankly, she does need to sort herself out. I love her and I don't want her to feel the way she did for the rest of her life. And if that means being alone to do the work she needs to do, how can I in one breath say I love her and want her to heal and in the other say she has to heal on my terms?

So that's my point, that sufferers on here are more likely to identify with the pain our partners are going through. And when we come on here talking about what we need, they may be inclined to think, "Well what about what THEY need?"

I hope that helps to clear some things up and maybe not take certain comments as personally.