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Finally talking to my mother to get information has been a good move, and the validation was priceless (they usually invalidate me). It's stirred up my symptoms though, so I didn't sleep last night (maybe got an hour). The depression has reared up like a monster wave, I don't even know what...

Depressed.

Same, only relating to my father. They are not going to change! We don't need to please them anymore, though in the past it seemed the only option.

Anxious. Had trouble sleeping last night, due to hyperarousal. Feeling apprehensive, like something bad is going to happen, but feel like that's related to finally talking to my mother about my PTSD diagnosis. Feel validated, and that's a huge thing, that information from my mother confirms...

I haven't felt able to read the whole thread right now, but this is me as well. I ignore myself, and empathise deeply with others. Others' needs are always put above my own.

Thanks everyone. It was really hard to do, to confront her, as she usually slithers away from stuff she wants to avoid. I asked her, casually, several weeks ago if she'd ever had to lock the house anywhere she'd ever lived, as they live in such a tiny town now that they still don't have to...

Echoing what Justmehere said, could your trauma have occurred at that time of day? Mine happened at night, and that's when my symptoms are bad.

I finally got up the gumption to tell my mother about my PTSD, and about the likelihood that I've had it all my life. It took a lot of guts, as my family have always ignored or dismissed stuff that has happened to me, and I expected to not be believed. But I needed to do it, as I needed to...

Feeling vulnerable and exposed (due to telling my brother about my PTSD). Feeling jumpy and scared. Feeling like everyone can see through me to my core, and are judging me. I know it's not true, it's just fear talking, but it's bothering me lately, because I feel faulty.

Now I feel guilty, for saying those things about my family. It's just some old stuff coming up. They are doing their best.

Hope you're ok @roaminggnome and @therisa I hope you're getting some good news about your friend. I'm feeling worried, as I've heard that my brother had urgent surgery today to remove some pea-sized kidney stones. Hopefully he's ok. I'm feeling anxious. I'm worried that I might have...

At least I feel real I guess. Right now anyway.

I'm posting to help myself ground. I was worried I would have a bad flashback, when I had trouble with the mirror, because it seemed like a frightened child in there. Had the new flashback of the face again earlier, but managed to get to sleep. Then nightmares. Then my husband went to the toilet...

Feel like I'm losing my mind. I'm not recognising myself in the mirror again, and that always freaks me out. It's extra weird when it happens that with my right eye I look like me, but with my left eye it doesn't. Sometimes both, but I find the different eyes seeing different things freaky. I...

Apologies for posting again so soon. New stuff is surfacing. I feel like I'm going crazy. I actually sometimes wonder if I am, if I've made everything up and am actually crazy.

My T encouraged me to try and get information from my super-avoidant "if I ignore it, it didn't happen and isn't a problem" mother. I was feeling brave after the session, and thought I'd do a practise run with my brother. He was skeptical at first, as I knew he would be. My T had told me that...

Ok, now it's the cold hard light of day, I really wish I had of reigned myself in, and not told him some stuff. Who knows what he is thinking now - I feel like I've betrayed myself. I hope that this doesn't reach a certain sister-in-law, because it would be all over the small town I used to...

I don't know if this is doable, or appropriate, or whether it would help but... the thing that comes to my mind is could the police (or one of them) from your first interview be there at all? They've had dissociation and PTSD explained, they have the evidence, and they sounded kind, so might be...

@PureDogs thank you for answering. The way your mother and sister reacted is the same as my mother. It feels like I can't pursue it when she ignores, it feels powerful, and I feel afraid and helpless against it.

Laurie - thank you for that quote - that really is very meaningful to me right now. Barconian - thank you, though I don't feel very brave at all, I did achieve something big tonight! Viosinger - you are right, she did have some advice, and it turned out to be very good advice. The advice was to...

Ok. I saw my T today after a month (she's been on holidays). While she's been away, a lot has happened, more stuff seems to be surfacing. My flashbacks are introducing new elements that weren't there before, like the sound of a zipper, a face. My nightmares are getting more and more specific...

@Dendrite That was truly inspiring. Thank you so much for posting it. Everything you wrote was so helpful, but this was something that really stood out to me.

You did really well - great job overcoming your fear! I was terrified before my first one too, and had known deep down I'd needed it for years and years, but denial and fear kept me away. I wish I'd done it sooner. You've made a great first step. It is tough talking about that stuff, but...

I've had experiences similar to this too, and it was one like you described that came out of nowhere and took me by surprise that led to me finally seeing a psychologist. It's happened a few times since, to the same trigger (being grabbed suddenly). I've heard myself screaming during them, as...

( @laurie71 ) Do you mean that you do not have a T anymore? It's hard to do this alone. I'm so glad you have this forum.