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When I get an email back I also read and reread and it helps me feel more stabilized. I finally got to the place where I told her I feel so childish needing to know she’s there. And she said it’s okay, it’s to be expected when she’s the one I’ve shared so much with and that she cares and is...

I think it’s a really important realization you’re having. I think I identify with this, but in my own experience I tend to either feel okay and have zero need for care (awesome when it happens), feel triggered/sad/anxious and feel like I need to know I’m not alone (most often the state I’m in)...

I struggle with this, too. But my T keeps reassuring me that it’s ok and not a bad thing. I guess it depends on the kind of therapy you’re doing. My first therapist, I didn’t feel attachment at all. I liked her I guess. She was “good”. But I saw her weekly for two years and just sat there...

I can’t remember. I have very little memory of my childhood and don’t remember ever being “in crisis”. As a teenager I would lock myself in my room during my dad’s rages and hurt myself. My mom is a wonderful loving person, but I think she would never go against my dad so I was alone in those...

I don’t know. That’s why I find it strange. What would have to happen for someone’s concern to equal anger to me? I can’t figure out why those two wires would be crossed. My dad was verbally/emotionally abusive and had an explosive temper. So I know why perceived anger feels threatening. But I...

Does anyone else do this? I hit a low point last weekend and I don’t reach out during crisis, but after the fact I will email my T and explain what happened, usually to articulate that I need a plan to help me not get back to that low of a place. She responded saying that i have so much on my...

My T tells me some dependency on her is okay. That’s it’s ok to need to know she’s there and feel that connection during the week. I think the difference between dependency on a T during the healing process and dependency on a friend is that the T knows what to do with this and (if he/she is a...

My T is out of network. She is $90 for the “hour” (which is “cheap”- she hasn’t raised her rate in the 2.5 yrs I’ve seen her). And sometimes if I stop and think about how much money $90 is, I freak out. BUT. I can afford it. So for me, I sort of view that weekly $90 as never having existed. It...

Was that today? How did it go?

In email I’ve been able to use real words. Not “abuse”- for some reason I can’t. But I can write actual actions like oral sex or rape. In person i say “whatever happened. If anything actually happened.” Last session my T asked about flashbacks that go with body sensations/body memories and I...

I have The Body Keeps the Score on kindle, audio, and a paperback with about a thousand sticky flags and highlights. This one I only bought on kindle because for some reason it’s pricey. But eventually I will have it in hand as well because it will be a read very often type of book.

I get that. I was reading a lot of IFS stuff and getting so frustrated that I can’t identify my parts. She talks about them calling them attach/fight/flight/submit etc and so it combines IFS with structural dissociation in a really easy way to understand. I don’t think it confuses IFS, but at...

I am a little less than halfway through Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivirs: Overcomibg Internal Self-Alienation by Janina Fisher and had to pop on here to tell you all what an amazing read it is so far. It is written for therapists and clients both, and so far has addressed a lot...

Even talking to your T about how you feel in session vs when you are not, is really important. I’ve spent probably the last year talking a lot about that with my T. Thankfully mine lets me email. So there have been sessions I’ve come home from, when she would ask me to let her know how I was in...

As a teacher, there’s nothing I love more than hearing from former students. I remember them all. I imagine it’s similar for T’s. One T I had for 2 years I left as soon as I discovered I was pregnant, because I needed to save for maternity leave. I didn’t talk to her at all ahead of time; just...

I generally only text if she does first. She has texted midweek to check in. And I’ll answer. Once I texted when i wanted her to read an email because I wanted her help making a decision. She sends book recommendations through text and through Facebook messenger. She also often sends articles...

I definitely feel this every week and have a hard time with it as well. Whenever I feel a vulnerability hangover I feel like I NEED my T. And then i hate myself for it. I am reading an amazing book called Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors and this is something I highlighted: “...

you are not a hypocrite. You are a human. One who was hurt, and one who is wanting to heal. It’s not your job to represent Christianity. If you believe in God, believe that is His job and not yours. As Christians I believe it’s important how we present ourselves in the areas of loving others and...

My t is 4 years older than me and we knew each other causually before I started with her. we have a lot of overlapping circles of people. My mother was her therapist for a time. (My mom is an amazing counselor. But i can’t see her, obviously, so she suggested mine to me) We’ve spent time...

I’ve been with my T 2.5 years. She’s amazing. I hate when sessions are canceled. But before every session I am extremely nervous. Seems paradoxical. I thought it would lessen over time but so far it hasn’t.

How long have you been with your T? I’ve been with mine 2.5 years and I’m slowly getting better. She sees a thought I’m not saying and gently encourages me to say it. That’s what eventually led to me shedding a tear for the first time last month. And even though i cried a little and couldn’t...

You won’t be silent forever. How long have you been with your T? Being able to cry is really a step in the right direction for some people who are unable to speak.

How are you in the room emotionally? Do you cry? Are you afraid to cry? If so, could a fear of becoming emotional keep you quiet?

I don’t know if email is an option but I’ve been able to do some communicating about this type of thing via email. My t also has her phone on vibrate on the table and it’s incredibly distracting for me. So in an email i pointed out that that sort of thing makes me lose focus. Same for her taking...

I just reread that part of the book this weekend, actually. I do like the way he explains it. Did you have a particular method for figuring them out?