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That's me. I'm a cashier. To clarify, I answer my colleagues as honestly as I can. Sometimes it's an aversion- like saying I'm hungry or need more coffee or that I'm glad it's Friday, but I do always answer my coworkers. It's customers that I can't answer. I will "answer" by asking what they'd...

I am finding it increasingly impossible to answer the question "How are you?" I'm most settings. If asked by someone who knows me and knows my story, I generally can give them a fair assessment of my current state. If people kind of know me but not at that level, I can sometimes give a true...

I actually just found this thread searching to see if anyone else had trouble visualizing! So yes. I am unable to see anything in my head. I think in sounds, words, and music mostly. I don't know of any ways to improve or "fix" this. I DO know that I'd love to learn some strategies- I get lost...

Good thing the psychiatrist gets to fill it out! Hopefully they know what it means! Maybe they're looking for some kind of umbrella label like anxiety/depression. Or even broader- mental health.

Most of my abusers (4 of 5) live in the town I grew up in. That is reason enough to not want to return there, but knowing that betrayers are there too (some of whom were also abusers) make it feel impossible to return. To face memories and flashbacks is hard. Having them minimized, ignored...

This has been my struggle the past few weeks as well. Here are a few things that work for me: 1. Take a break. Walk away, have some water, breathe. Even 20 seconds is better than nothing. 2. I keep a smooth rock in my pocket to run my thumb along or squeeze to relieve stress, to ground me to...

I was getting really stressed today at work. Then I started getting anxious, too. Then the physical sensations started. I tried reminding myself that it was just because I let myself get stressed, that I'm actually just here at work, that I'm relatively safe, that I can't control what my body...

I have always struggled to explain to people how/why I considered my betrayer to be as damaging (maybe even MORE damaging) as some of my abusers... of course I didn't have the word "betrayer" to go with at the time. @City Slicker - Thank you ever so much for sharing this with us!!

Sometimes- a very rare sometimes- people I deeply trust can give me some insight into other people and dissuade me from labeling them as dangerous. I do tend to think a couple of them are much better judges of character than I am.

I'm feeling more hopeful about my work situation. The situation hasn't changed, just my perspective. Overall I'm feeling almost sunny inside... it's been a looooooong time since I could say that!

I made (and ate!) a PB sandwich at the park and enjoyed the sunshine.

I am feeling anxious today as I feel some pressure to comply with this holiday. My mother is not one of my abusers- not directly. She didn't step in and stop it nor has she been a source of support or comfort. As such our relationship is complicated and we don't talk much. I feel a little...

Yes. I sometimes feel a lot of pain and like I'm being suffocated. It physically feels like the trauma is happening all over again. I don't have super clear memories of my trauma, either, but once memories started coming back, these physical sensations came with them. And at first I wished I had...

Today I went to our city's busy public market with a friend and practiced reminding myself that I'm okay, that nothing is going to happen, that the market isn't scary, and that the crowd is just people. Just other people who also love discounted produce! Of course having my friend there helped...

I have noticed that I am constantly on guard against anyone being "too nice" to me. I am not sure that I can tell the difference between someone who genuinely cares and someone who is "grooming" me. I didn't see it coming when I was in high school- I naively thought someone actually cared for...

Welcome to the site. I'm sorry for your loss and for how it's still holding you captive. I hope you find here the support and the tools you need to get back on your feet! You've taken some good steps already- sharing where you've been, admitting where you're at, and being open to learning from...

Though I haven't had this kind of experience, I do certainly relate to the hesitancy to share things because I don't know if the other person will think I'm making it up, that I'm crazy, or that I just want attention. I don't tell everyone, for sure, but I've decided that what other people think...

My boss can attest to how absolutely off the wall I get for weeks before having to make the trip out to where my family lives. Though not necessarily the trauma that triggered PTSD for me, my father was physically and is still verbally abusive. I have learned to severely limit these trips...

I am thinking that I need to stop being so hard on myself. I've been feeling useless and unproductive the past couple of days because I'm really sick. I hate not being able to go to work, but even when I was there Tuesday I couldn't really to anything so I was still "useless." I figured that...

Thank you very much for posting this! I want to share this with my mentor so she can have a better idea of what kind of things I want to grow in!

I'm sorry all this happened and I'm sorry it's making it so hard for you to shower. I have had a hard time showering as well. While I still won't shower every day, and sometimes I still get pulled into obsessive mode while showering (scrubbing too hard or washing over and over), what has MOST...

I took myself out on a "date" to an orchestral concert. (It's about to start!)

Sweatpants!

I eat breakfast foods. Doesn't matter what time of day. Hot breakfast always helps!

I feel wobbly and unbalanced. I feel unstable. I feel anxious that I'll lose it entirely. At work. I feel dread about going to work tomorrow and trying to make it another whole day without losing it. I feel like I might actually feel loads better if I just go for it and have a meltdown at work...