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That is wonderful that you are helping Star, @therisa . I have (formerly?) feral cats and it is very calming to me and rewarding too when I slowly have figured out how to help them feel safer. I think it is teaching me emotional level things about safe feelings. :chicken: I am including this...

I think that our very distant ancestors didn't quite figure out a foolproof way to squash a bigger neocortex onto that older stuff... Seems to be a multi-species issue, though maybe not in actual reptiles? Friends have an African grey parrot who sure acts like he was traumatized as a chick; he...

@SheilaKathy that does sound very difficult, but you will get through this! One thought: if you are decreasing a benzo, is one every other day really the best way to wean off it? Wouldn't it be better to have a half every day, or even less even more often?? They usually have short...

There are some research studies about issues with benzos and ptsd; the gaba system gets affected by ptsd, and benzos act on gaba, but benzos are addictive -- so they are changing your system's sensitivity to themselves, which might mean you are changing the gaba system's resting state until the...

I wonder if there is any overlap with fibromyalgia symptoms in there, like the fogginess, tingling and such? It's really not well understood... You could try some of the recommendations for fibro self-care though...

This is the issue that always comes to my mind when I see many "forgiveness" discussions. It's sort of... "Kid, shut up about the abuse that powerful person perpetrated on you; you are bad for not forgiving, and we don't want to challenge anyone powerful (or our own memories of abuse) -- they...

Hello @Casey_03 -- we will be thinking about you; we will hold on to hope for your future and we're really here.

I wonder if you could get a cheaper ISP, even if the connection speed is slower? Or perhaps the current ISP has a lower cost, lower speed option? That seems like a huge hike in price! If you cannot get an affordable one, do you have a library nearby at which you could use a computer for free?

Hi @Cool Cat . I like your icon a lot. Orange cats are excellent. I haven't read all of your posts by any means, but I did just look back at some of your early postings -- it was only October. My sense is that you might be taking a fairly cognitive-level approach to things; when you mention...

Alternating between feeling upset and having more weird muscle sensations and tightness. (The gym helped a lot earlier for a while.)

Weird muscle things, stress

I think it does cost money often to get from the state, but price probably varies depending upon the state. Their website should tell you; you might even be able to get it online. However that would take longer, most likely, than going to a spot the website lists to get the copy.

You are not a waste of space at all; you are brave and honest. I am so glad that you are doing this for your younger kids, and it doesn't sound like the 19-year-old is anywhere close to actually taking responsibility for his actions. This will be difficult for you and your wife for a while, I...

I would even be suspicious of supervised visits (unless maybe with a whole squad of police...:(); it sounds like he crosses boundaries even with supervision, so your other kids could easily have cause to not feel safe in their home, where they are "supposed to" feel safest -- and not feel like...

Hello @KwanYingirl -- I am glad you can do the yoga, and I'm glad you're not cutting. I hope you will do more yoga for a while since that sounds helpful? I know you feel you need to do those other "get stuff done" things, but I am really glad you are doing the yoga! It was very brave of you to...

I agree with @gizmo's wonderful post. For me it took a long time to develop a fair amount of trust of trustworthy men due to many early years around a male abuser. Getting to know some really decent, kind men as friends in a college living situation was very helpful, looking back on it. I did a...

Winter camping in Canada! I like your idea of the backyard!!! I'm very glad you are planning to stay safe too... and since you do have ptsd, please consider giving yourself a comfy reward afterwards; our "reptile brains" are involved in the ptsd, so I've found physical safety and comfort...

Hello @jaccat, it is wonderful that you have found a good therapist, I think she's absolutely right that you are very resilient! Part of healing seems to often involve feeling a lot of emotions that we didn't have enough support to feel as a kid, when caregivers were as dysfunctional as you...

I have been seeing a few articles and such on the benefits of "trauma-sensitive yoga" for various body issues; getting more connected etc. It's a bit different from the yogas where the goal seems to be the most gorgeous pretzel in spandex... Googling seems to get various results, such as...

Hi - I hope your Solstice/Yule/Christmas went well! I noticed that the MD is having you try Prozac -- just wanted to be sure you know about the numerous other ssri drugs (paxil, zoloft, etc.) -- everyone reacts differently to each one, but it can be worth the long try-out periods if one is...

This is a complicated issue, but overall I don't personally put any responsibility for my being triggered or whatever on another person unless they are actually abusive. I can definitely feel fear due to large, loud men near me, for instance; luckily these days it's not abusive large loud men...

@Zef -- re. your T not understanding... does the T use any of the various "parts" theories at all? Like Internal Family Systems, or just the concept of "dissociated parts"? For me, a main coping skill was compartmentalizing and squashing "parts" that had emotional reactions where those seemed...

I bet it's really common for survivors to doubt the reality of various parts of their experience. "Derealization" is a symptom mentioned in the DSM, but I think we can feel that all sorts of parts of our lives were not real too; it can be more limited in scope. I had separated old trauma stuff...

omg that's right, Underdog had a super secret energy pill. I just read that the show started in 1964. People used all sorts of uppers without social stigma before the counterculture stuff... That pill was apparently edited out of some showings later, must have sounded pretty suspicious after...

Hi @Underdog. Do you see a psychiatrist (M.D.) at all? They might be able to tell you more on the disability issues as I think they would be the ones to put it through with the Social Security Administration. I think you posted as I was writing this... am changing it... I probably do too...