Search results

Should I send it to my wife?

I wish I never hurt you, but all I have is pain Can't seem to find shelter from the rain I am here still waiting barely breathing With a broken heart that's still beating Betrayed by the shadows in my mind How did I become so blind blink back the tears, take a breath...please not now...not...

I deserve forgiveness, another chance and unconditional love.

Overwhelmed, heartbroken, selfish, abrasive, mean spirited, shattered and like I'm a bad person.

My whole brain functions differently now. I'm angry all the time, I'm selfish, beyond selfish actually, emotionally distant and when I do feel emotions it scares me so I get indignant. I take everything as a personal attack against me, I justify my behavior because I feel as if the world owes me...

I wish I could see what they see. All I see is nothingness, a void, an enimatic shadow obfuscated by fear.

No, I was actually decent then. Now however I've become everything I hate. Hurt by NIN resonates with me right now. I'm sorry, I'm sure you don't wanna be around me either.

I wonder why others have put up with me for so long. I wonder why everyone doesn't hate me. I wish they did it'd be easier to just give up if they did. I'm a worthless, hateful, sinful,emotionally abusive, abrasive shitty person that for some reason people have the unfortunate of caring about...

Alone, utterly scared, regretful, sinful, stupid, like I'm bending and breaking, bound and shaking, and changing.

Utterly confused, self loathing, selfish and emotionally anorexic.

I realize that the fault in a lot of this is my own. My heart has been poisoned by negativity in my life. I've been unforgiving slowly killing myself , when things seem to get better, I throw everything on on the back burner and pretend it's all ok. I have a lot to learn, I'll probably never be...

I'm feeling stupid, angry, depressed, betrayed and confused.

I don't have friends, I isolated myself from everyone. I love her more than I love myself but I'm so messed up right now. I've pushed everyone away and now I need help and nobody wants me to help me due to my actions. I don't wanna be selfish anymore and I feel like PTSD is a selfish disease.

I cannot afford therapy. Even on a sliding scale, my wife is looking for a job and I only work about 18 hours a week, due to my epilepsy and ptsd. I've been dealing with this all on my own and I need help but we have no money to get me help,

So I had a long talk with my wife last night. I found out that she's not in love with me anymore, and that she feels like my mother not my lover. I certainly haven't been very good to her. I've been emotionally abusive, distant, uncommunicative, negative, selfish and uncaring. I don't wanna be...

I'm feeling tenacious, strong and determined to persevere.

I am looking into getting help from the state. I think I need to quit my job because it's completely destroyed my self worth. I've let my managers walk all over me because I generally want to help others. I hate my job and I hate how it's contributed to my stress, self loathing and negativity...

I'm anxious, on edge, vigilant and scared.

How nobody seems to understand how I'm feeling. A

I just my wife will be here when it's all said and done and done and dead.

@digger. I have it on my phone but I think she's bot willing to read into it right now. @ Helen I'm going to the suicide lockdown like my wife wants. I reject help and I know I can no longer do that. I am smarter than this, I know I can be better. I just need help.

I really need some advice. Am I too far gone ?

Thank you for your words and advice. Hurting is life. I've been faking it for so long. After I got diagnosed with epilepsy everything hit me like a ton of bricks. I feel like I'm outside of myself looking at a person I don't even recognize. I appreciate you listening to me complain and cry...

I've looked into that and I haven't found anything. All I know is that I need help not judgement and I feel like she's judging me. My heart is broken and my soul is crushed. I'm so messed up right now when I have a pretty good life, how selfish of me to feel bad for myself.

What I want her to is to understand what I'm going through and I know that's asking too much. How can she if I don't open up? I'm really really messed up big time.