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She was seeing another woman for months, she kissed her 3 times. She would talk to her about things she wouldn't talk to me about. She would open up to her, share her concerns and thoughts where she didn't with me. She would tell her the things I was doing that hurt her or angered her. I...

I think it's the ptsd talking but I feel like she doesn't understand me or my ptsd. I'm so angry with her for having an emotional affair on me. That completely crushed me and made be feel like she didn't care at all about me. I never expected to be hurt by her and she hurt me so badly that I...

I feel so utterly selfish for how I've behaved tonight and for my refusal of help. I just hope it's not too late.

My wife wants to take me to a suicide watch at the hospital, I might get the help I need...

Since this is the place to vent I'm gonna vent, I apologize for the novella I'm writing. I've never had an easy life, my family wasn't the greatest, I got kicked out for being gay at 15, was disowned, had to couch surf and lie to get a job. I've been working since I was 15, mostly in meaningless...

I took a long walk

I'm grateful that my wife loves me despite my best efforts to make her not want to.

I realize that I am often push others away when I need them the most then get mad that they listened. I realize that at times I am a bad person or at least nit as good as I could be.

I'm feeling angry at myself. I'm feeling emotionally retarded, unsure of myself, scared, lonely even though I'm surrounded by others. I'm feeling spread too thin, I'm feeling weak, shameful, unworthy and reprehensible.

Touched - Vast

My co worker telling me that I didn't do anything today. I was diagnosed with epilepsy and work has been touch and go as of late and this really made me angry, I had no idea I had that much self control.

I feel as if I'm on a different plane of existance.

PTSD is beyond my mortal comprehension.

My neighbors are loud and irritating. My cat ate and threw up tinsel.

I deserve a break from my constant testing of myself.

I am thankful I can still laugh at myself

Stressed about my epilepsy diagnosis. Hoping 2014 won't suck as much as 2013 did lmfao it has to be better :P

I realize I was very wrong in my dealing with things.

When you have to sit with your back to wall. You know at least 6 ways out of every place you go.

I will get last it though, after all she is human like me and just as imperfect and flawed. I expect way too much of her in that aspect. We all have our transgressions, it's up to me to decide how I let it affect me.

I feel disappointed in myself for past actions yet proud I took the initiative to contact a therapist.

She had an emotional affair on me. It really made never feel betrayed and unloved. Ip I know it's gonna be a long dark road but I'm sure I can do this. I did apologize and told her I understand that she needs space and time, I told her I'm not going anywhere, and that I take accountability for...

I apologized to her but she doesn't accept it right now. I've hurt her a lot and I have to deal with the damage I've caused. I'm here for the long haul, so time will tell if I am strong enough to do this. Hope to all thugs holy that I am.

I don't know, I'm afraid of just how bad it is. I took the initiative to talk to hr at work and get some help. I hope that my wife can forgive me and that I can forgive her.

Thank you all for the support. I know that I have a long and tough road ahead of me. I have to work today, my job is on shaky ground too but I think I'm going to talk to hr and see if I can take time off. I've always been the breadwinner and right now it's hard to do that. I contacted a...