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My mother just exposed me to things (sexually) that a child should not be exposed to.

I had been going to a group every week for about 6 months and returning home the same route. One night I got a phone call on the way home and missed the exit. As it turned out, I had been getting off at this exit, sitting thru 2 red lights, and getting back on the same road. Duh.....

I don't know if Im an alcoholic but have certainly abused it, mostly in past decade since having full blown ptsd. I am not dependent on it. I dont drink everyday (not that all alcoholics do) but I often have drank more than intended. One glass of wine and then....finishing the bottle off. I...

Recovery4Me- isnt it hard not to laugh even with their bad behavior?

I think I was where you are a few years ago. I was so exhausted that I kind of quit living. I avoided a lot. I avoided people, going out of the house even. Stayed in bed almost all the time. I think we have to find some light in our life to get us moving again. For me it took a 3-4 yrs of rest...

I have a lab and a golden retriever that are both 2 yrs old. I would be lost without them. They are so loving and sweet. Really are our best friends. The golden is high strung and he really hates when we leave....the lab, well I think she just accepts it better.

Currently watching Call the Midwife. Last series watched was The Crown. This is a great series to follow after the Crown. Both on netflix

Thank you DharmaGirl. I don't understand how I dissociated in and out, but I am more accepting now. I think that just putting it out there, on here, calling him out on it, and even telling my husband has helped me. Much shame lies in the secrecy. Im grateful I got my voice back then and now.

If someone tells you they are an asshole, believe them. If someone tells you this, take it as the truth. Its nothing you want to hear repeated. Time to move on. I empathize with you because I have chosen men poorly....in a different way. Regardless, take his word for it.

Just a simple update. I am dealing with this much better. While some things might be a blur, I was not drunk or did not have any reason to cause this. Yet I know we all play a role somehow. I have refused to take responsibility for this. I have reasons for not wanting confrontations. Clearly, he...

It sounds like your husband is not able to meet some of your emotional needs. Please correct me if Im wrong. You trust him in most aspects, but not there when you need him most. There are a lot of relationships like this (which doesn't make it better for you) I dont think anyone can fill all...

Lost! Ive felt lost for over a decade now. I lost my identity. Withdrawn! I just want to stay in bed and away from people. Confused! I dont know how to return to the living world. Useless! Unable to find purpose.

My doc knows at least some of it. He treated me after the assault....and a week or so later I had a total meltdown. Im not sure he understands but he does know. He is easy to talk to, so I shared some. He put me in a sling and ordered tests for my torn rotator cuff.

Oh Mirage 331 I am so sorry. I completely understand. My husband is not abusive per se.....well maybe a bit. I feel trapped though. He shows no affection and hoards many things, including money. I have no say about much. Yes I could protest....that takes energy Im 62 and have just accepted I...

I have a lot of forgetfulness, overlooking things, but also have had head trauma. Yet on the subject of ptsd, it felt like my adrenaline was running full speed for so many years, and one day I just shut down. When I say I shut down, I mean it literally. I gave control of almost everything to my...

I went to therapy for a few months about 4 years ago to help me make a big decision. I know my ptsd symptoms will likely never be gone, but I am managing them. I screw up but recognize it (both in thinking and behavior). The thing is, I know exactly what a good therapist would say to me, so I...

Thank You Friday for your validation. This house is 3 stories and has 5 bathrooms. I just want to get to a place that is manageable. Im not sure what that is.

On Thursday, I had to attend a zoom conference for CEU's, even though I am retired, I want to keep my status. The conference was pathetic to say the least, and I paid $300 for it. At the end of the day, my husband wanted to debate many things with me, and blaming me for things I may or may not...

I hate to say this, but I think that sometimes we will never know what is in their head....not sure they know. From dealing with my own family relationships, I have discovered the "why" is less important than the facts we already know. They do what they do. It is that that leads to our...

I am so sorry and I am glad you are holding up thru this. I don't have much to off except (((hugs))). I pray the 17th comes faster than usual.

Friday---thank you dear, you named in "reintroduction to life". I would be fine with no alcohol, probably better. I just need structure. A place that says yoga is at 10 am, lunch at 12, meditation at 1. Etc. I need this so bad. I can't even afford the drunk tank let alone this kind of place. I...

You didn't mess up. He is playing an abusive head game. You deserve better. That is plain ABUSE

I have the same issue but don't believe it comes from childhood because up thru my 50's, I was all into time management and rarely sat down. I would have to schedule my time for fun things. My life was super busy and I managed very well. I do think I had some ADD issues but had learned that...

I don't have a long history of ruminating. I know I have dont it before but have broke the habit with distractions and business. Most recently, I have been ruminating about one thing, which triggers rumination about something further in the past, which then triggers rumination about a bunch of...

I only have a couple really true friends. Those are the ones that accept you as you are and still love you. They are very loyal. I am a really good listener and am extremely loyal. We have commonalities such as, if they called in the middle of the night and needed something, I would run, and...