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I blacked out last night at some point and apparently watched something on tv,I talked to my wife, None if which I remember. Prior to that I felt stoned for no reason, not the good kind either, I did not feel myself, almost more like I felt trapped inside this other persons doings. I felt sick...

no it is no too much to ask! You deserve it! It can help if you can recognize that the feeling may not be just fear, it could be a whole bunch of different feelings hard to express but I guess that's just me so not sure for you. Fear doesn't have to ruin our lives, I was able to see that my...

cool daisy thank you, your right I need to do my art stuff now or take my dogs for a walk.

you explained things so well, I feel so similar, especially about dissociating, I am making another appointment to get in another time before my next session and I see my T once a week. I get upset too when my T has to reschedule because it feels so critical for me to make sure I go weekly. I...

i don't feel ready for this one. Isn't enough that I've been having flashbacks of other sexual abuse and physical abuse by my father for a while, now I have to throw another family member in the mix. I don't want to do this anymore, this sexual abuse is taking over my life, I am very afraid of...

I am so tired and very much in a depressed state. In emdr today I was 7or 8, my brother was 14 or 15 and I was in bed for the night. He came in at some point and smelled of alcohol and showed me his genitals and got on top of my little body in the bed, the next thing that came up was my older...

All great suggestions, gonna try. Thank you so much

I know he sexually abused me as a child and it's extremely hard for me because I want to hate him for what he's done but I haven't been able to let myself. I guess now I know that's where this is coming from internally is that I'm super sad it was him. When I started two years ago or so with...

Thank you, I think what you said I need to do. I need to cut ties for good not just for a day, a week, a month, like I've done before and will let him back in because he says he loves me and he's sorry. I need to be strong and put my foot down and keep my distance.

I know I have been posting a lot in this thread, cuz I have been down more than any other emotion this week. My dad called me and needed money and cigarettes. Now if I was in control I would think I would've said no. I felt needed i suppose. It's sick. I mean my flashbacks are of him hurting me...

Thank you all for sharing, I really needed it.

thank you, your words are so nice to hear.

thank you all so much, it means a lot to hear your caring words today.

This weekend my mom was a trigger for me for the first time. I felt like I needed a mom and she hasn't been one to me in a very long time. I have always been more the adult. I needed an embrace that I've never truly had but somehow subconsciously know it exists. I realized that I've been seeking...

Thank you Muse. Yes to the care giver with addiction. I accept the hugs.

I feel scarred in despair violated stuck pounding head I need relief desperately i am suffering inside and no one knows how much i can't bring myself to tell I'm screaming behind these poker eyes just as I did as a child why cant I set that child free

It seems I have different triggers all of the time lately. Just last night, in the dark, my night light turned off and I kept seeing shadows in the darkness in my room and I felt like a child again in a room I once had growing up for a few years. My worst triggers are body sensations. These are...

Thanks for sharing this.

thank you

Right now having my cat on my lap and my dog beside me. Thank you so much for your reply, it did help me not feel so far away.

Starting to shut down. I am coming to grasp being abused in someway as an infant. I really didn't want to discover this. Broke down and cried alot. I'm very saddened. Hard to cope with these thoughts that are flooding my head. Had head pain and these thoughts for sure for only four whole days...

now that I said that out loud , what I've been thinking about, really makes me feel vulnerable and not doing so well right now with my thoughts on this. I am feeling scarred. I will hug my pillow pet and color, I have an adult coloring book. I just love it, it calms me so hopefully I dont have...

Wow Muse, it's like you knew what has been in my thoughts the last few days since therapy. I have been having thoughts of myself as an infant and wondering if something happened to me. I even saw myself as an infant as if I was floating above myself. That's all that has come to me and still the...

In EMDR yesterday I came to a halt when I felt a serious pain on the one side of my head and then the other side and then all over. I've been going to EMDR for a few months and a lot of painful things have come up even physical sensations. My head however has been hurting off and on ever since...

thank you Cashew! That really makes a lot of sense. I appreciate your helpful response.