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Sadly, ma'am, I know exactly this one, inside-out. Events had a different order. But the realities and their effects were the same. It is the crushing combination I endured, in addition to my wife's death. Not even winning a 10-year solo legal case against my hostile managers stopped the...

And you're riding it out. Maybe your sister can too. That's what "pressure valves" are for. Take care, dear. Thanks for telling us.

Hey @Anarchy, we all owe you a BIG HAND (icon needed) for offering us some comic relief amid all the sadness we share in these forums. We need laughs, too. Thanks, man.

Hah!:playful: The cyoot little beggar morphed into a cognitive distortion with teeth!!:devilish:

Wonderful point. You need to be allowed to exercise your own power, especially to overcome this crisis. Does your therapist understand that? I wish somebody would let you call the plays as you see them. Nobody can call them better than you are to us. I'm frankly awestruck at how well you...

GOOD LORD, MAN IT (this thread) IS ALIVE!!!!!!!!:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:!

This is an excellent point, now that it's said. It could possibly explain no note? No warning signs? I wouldn't try to promote denial of the facts, but freak accidents do happen. There may have been no "intent," especially if he was inexperienced with that shotgun. Forgive me, if you...

ADVERTIZER would be a bold dollar sign with a forked tongue!:mad::mad: (help?)

An old-time camera, its flashbulb going "pop" (flashback); a dripping half-moon (night sweat); bloodshot eyes (for insomnia); trembling hand (for jitters); exploding firecracker (for outburst); drooping "Rx" (drugs/meds); pants-down butt (overexposure/TMI); file stamped "classified"...

All you are saying is amazingly clear. I think some of the questions you have may have answers eventually, but not of course the biggest one, which is "Why?" For other things, such as the coroner's report, the ammunition, the "investigator" and some others, you may learn more in time. If...

Something like the hugs:hug:, but the faces stare away from each other (dissociation)

Here's something from my experience which might be useful to you. Sorry I didn't think of it before. You might ask a volunteer to research all of your husband's former employers for any insurance policies which might still be in force. Only a couple of years ago, an insurance company found me...

Or the front of a bank vault for isolation. How 'bout bent-out-of-shape question marks, exclamation points, ampersands, etc. for inaccurate thoughts (cognitive distortions)--what I call "dysbeliefs" or "twistbeliefs."

A right-facing, screaming profile of a head, trailing debris behind it.

Changing the sheets is up to you when you are ready. You could do as I did, placing my wife's pillow in an airtight container, opening it only briefly at special, private times. You might start a list of these concerns, and carefully choose among those who say they want to help, to delegate...

What a bullshit concept! People who say that should snap out of their stupidity and just move on--quickly!

ALL of what you have said is amazingly true and candid. Even what might seem contradiction. We are honored that you feel free to express yourself to us exactly this way. I think you are talking as the unique person you and your husband created together in your remarkable marriage. Part of...

Got it. And its hard to know when or how to pull yourself out of the line. Please don't wait until that "dam" of emotion collapses all at once. We're here, and will be.:hug::hug:

"My Firehorse Thinking": Harnessed, willing to gallop to a rescue, while it's my own barn that may be ablaze.

That's not your job now. Perhaps a surrogate (your therapist?) might help the first responders. And someone might effectively stay between you and the press. In Texas, we have a Critical Incident Stress Network of counselors and volunteers to serve both of those purposes. I handled the press...

One thought here. You shouldn't have to do this. But what if you asked one of your co-workers to understand, and pass the word for you, that you are on trauma overload? Wouldn't they realize that hearing more problems now is hurting you?

Good for you, but you shouldn't even have to do that. Your former co-workers should already know that you need you (and your teddybears) more than they do. It sounds as if they are panicky, but that is not your problem. It is your time to grieve your way, without extra concerns. I'm so sad...

Hah! As an old cowboy-at-heart, I can't think of anything better to do with one of my worn-out Winchesters! :woot: @Casey_03, you haven't said whether your own family knows about this situation. Just curious.

Here's a thought: You've taken the leap out of a terrible situation into a place that is unfamiliar. You are off-balance, but can soon get your bearings and reflect that you are a survivor of a genuine catastrophe. Your awareness has to catch up with your instinct and courage. Is that useful?

Dear, you don't have to entertain the press or anyone else. It is up to you to express, or not express, yourself in any way to suit others' guesses at what you feel. You cannot be required to help others fathom the depth of devastation you feel. No one but you can feel it, nor should they...