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Most beautiful thing? Driving down the west coast, Oregon, Washington, California...especially Oregon. Most beautiful sound? Reverie by Debussy, Abzu soundtrack, the sounds of fresh green forests with little streams, Eric Whitaker's choirs, Celtic music... This is so beautiful thank you for...

So so sorry mums:cry:. Be gentle with yourself, let the grief be what it is...you've done all you could, being so supportive for your friend...take care of yourself first.

Welcome to the forum @Anne Oakley! There are many souls here who have the same fears and hurt. Your are not alone, so sorry this happened to you. You have so much courage!

I love it when everything turns into a fresh green. Also love the smell and sound of rain:happy:

coffee, biscuits, and almonds

Silent skies - seven lions feat karra

Take extra gentle care of yourself, especially right now...and I really hope you can make some peace with your mind and body soon:hug:

Also can't sleep without white noise, if it's too quiet my mind goes crazy. If it's too hot, or too cold, can't sleep, and I need two pillows and only cotton quilts...none of that silky hot itchy shit. Mattress must be foam. Hahahaha love this thread:roflmao:. Love the mental health jenga @Swift!

Do it again - Royksopp and Robyn

First, I am so sorry. Eating disorders are horrible. I totally get you. Every word. The mirror is like a black hole. Sucks out the happiness. When the mirror is foggy after the shower I always write bitter things on it like "f*ck it all to hell". And yes, I still have an eating disorder. I...

Gonna rant here: Hell to the no!! I agree marriage is an old tradition rooted in patriarchy. Life's about love, not toxic tradition. Also, it is about bodily autonomy. Nobody should belong to anybody. People aren't products. What other adults say about your marriage/love life is none of their...

@Fionas74 So true!! I remember telling a friend how I would starve myself for 3 days to lose weight. She said the same you said, that it's about control. You want to be in charge of your own body because you are not allowed charge. I am not in the US right now, and I have looked for...

Omg so cute^^!!! Thanks for sharing!

The bus driver lady grabbed my arm when I got on and it freaked me out!! She didn't want me to fall when she started driving. She probably had other experiences with foreigners who fell on her bus, so that's totally understandable. But it really shook me up lol...I thought I was in trouble. But...

It IS so exhausting, yes. Sometimes I imagine what it would be like if a few societal norms changed, and true expression was a standard norm for everyone...Instead of always "I'm fine" maybe there would be better mental health? Idk.

@Fionas74 You have said words that describe perfectly the feeling of not being able to know your body. I actually didn't see it too clearly until I read your thread. Thanks for posting. I was also raised in religion and was anorexic, and didn't want to grow a body because well, certain men. Now...

I relate to this so much....I'm not fine. I can pretend very well, and hide it. If I tell people how I am really feeling, and somehow my appearance matched my feelings, people would cross the street.

Cocorosie - Fairy Paradise

@Teamwork You're welcome! @Marsman Welcome to the forum!

Omg I'm glad you at least found a place where there is no violence like that! You keep taking care of yourself.

I made this to chant to myself when I hate my body My worth surmounts my weight My healing mends my fate Let ease the hurt inside of me I am enough, so let it be

Don't eat various irritable canned edibles. PERSON

Google Steven Hassan's BITE Model of Cult Mind Control. Hope this helps.

Coffee Fresh starts Hot water My happy husband

When I moved to another country with my dh, it gave me more space to not feel so suffocated from the pressures and negativity in my home country, and the distance it created did help me cut more ties with my abusers. But my problems didn't go away. They still needed to be addressed and I still...