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Do you have a therapist?

Might want to start with telling your T about the divorce and manage that first before you drive into trauma therapy. If the conflicts at home are triggering dissociation then definitely that needs to be your first priority.

I just want to say that I have been where you are and it's an awful feeling. I think it shows some bravery and self-love that you reached out to your T and that you took care of your pets. It means someone sane was driving even if they were doing it from the backseat with a blindfold on. Hope...

The therapist may be spending time on psychoed because while you may know it intellectually, you may not know it at a deep emotional level and be able to incorporate it into your daily coping. On the medical side of the house, I sometimes see patients that are also clinicians and they often...

I think this is the root of it. Because I won't have my T face-to-face twice a week any more for support, I will have to learn to reach out to others. I'm still pretty avoidant so this prospect even though necessary is pretty scary. I've found that I can work through some things better in email...

I'm really sorry to hear about your Mom. Hospitals are hard on the elderly, so many things can go wrong. Your mom should be transferred to a facility for stroke/MI rehabilitation once she is stable.

@Teamwork you are right this is a gift my T has given me. I was second guessing him thinking he wants to continue because he needs the money but I don't think that's is actually true. He is a pdoc by training so I don't think money is too much of an issue. I am going to go ahead with it for a...

I'm sorry you don't have anyone you can trust. I have a hard time trusting too. Are you socially isolated? Do you work/go to school?

I currently see my T twice a week but I am going overseas for my job for a year and I leave next week! I get 30 days off for every 90 in the field so I will get to see my T every few months in person and he thinks it will be fine to have teletherapy twice a week while I am there. I feel like it...

I think it was brave of you to tell your parents what happened and a testament to the trust you must have had in them during that time. While you don't think your parents responded appropriately, the most important thing is they believed you and they took action by firing the babysitter. This is...

My daughter has BPD. While everyone in a relationship with her suffers, she actually suffers the most. I recommend checking out BPDfamily.com. I learned so much from that website about how to relate to her. There are multiple forums and one specifically for parents. I also like the book Walking...

This is important. Did you tell your parents what he did exactly or something else like he's mean or you don't like him. How did they take your plea seriously? Did they confront the babysitter? I wonder if what happened during the rest of the evening that you don't remember is also important...

My mother's mother died when she was 8 and my Mom said she has very few memories of her mother but her sister who was 13 at the time has a lot more. There was no trauma history as far as she knew that could affect memories.

This is the root of her acting out. BPD is a hard illness for everyone. My daughter has BPD and it has been a rough road until recently. I got a lot of help from a forum called BPD family. There is a subforum for siblings too. I also participated in Family Connections and that made a huge...

This. Your T should be helping you move from whodunit to confronting the feelings and beliefs that make life hard today. Learning to tolerate the ambiguity is part of this. I agree with everyone else. Find a new therapist. This on may have good intentions but is hurting your recovery.

I agree with everyone else - listen inside without fear or at least with acceptance or even love if you can manage it. I don't have a gatekeeper, so this is pretty much how it is for me.

Slow and steady wins the race when weaning off any SSRI but especially so with Paxil and in the geriatric population. Her doctor should able to create a weaning schedule for you.

@Catlovers141 Are you able to form and feel safe in other types of intimate relationships? Friendships or family relationships with relatives who did not abuse you? If not, might be a good place to start. @laverite I disagree that marriage is the only type of relationship where you will not...

I have trouble with dissociation but I don't know the term ANP. What is that?

I have the same belief and have not yet reached any intellectual understanding that this belief is not accurate. I never jump in the water, just float on the surface. That feels safe which is more important than connection right now.

Core beliefs: The abusers chose me because they recognized that my inner being was inherently corrupted and polluted. Counter: I was chosen because I was small and vulnerable and there is nothing wrong with either.

I don't blame her for wanting control. Sounds like she is a kid who had never had any control over her life and is pretty much powerless.

What is it about being invisible in your own house that bothers you? I am curious because I actually like to be invisible and do my own thing at home while everyone else goes about with their noise and whatnot. I am also the breadwinner, always have been, but I don't mind because, it gives you...

I will also be moving to tele-therapy with my T in a couple of weeks for work reasons. It's a really stressful transition and I have not really acknowledged even to myself how worried I am. I understand exactly where you are with your feelings about all of this. I found myself in session being...

Ugh - that sounds like an awful experience - you definitely deserve 100% better than that. Is there any other trauma therapy in your area?