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Even though my dad’s spanking didn’t physically hurt, it was done in a humiliating way and it was not used as punishment for bad behavior. I had not done anything wrong. For instance, the first time with the dishes-he said “go unload the dishwasher and if I find out you didn’t do it I’m going to...

Thanks for clarifying. It did feel like that person was minimizing a little. But I understand why people ask questions. And when typing, sometimes it’s harder to be clear. There can be missing information. To answer your example question, I don’t know why my mom was angry. I had been hitting my...

You are definitely minimizing me a bit. It’s not possible that he got mad and spanked me. There are so many reasons why it was sexual and wrong

The way he did things made it sexual. One, he had calculated his attack. He took an opportunity. He was not actually angry with me. He used the water dropping as a “reason.” Two, the tone in his voice like it was a desire. Three, the ritualization and making me make contact with his lap. He...

I was using the term molestation because what he did was unwanted touching with sexual meaning behind it but he only touched my bottom, not other privates. I’m basically saying it’s still molestation because of the sexual nature he inserted into it.

I think I’m really starting to see what you guys are saying. I have assigned an innocent word concept to describe my abuse. I was not given a harmless spanking. I was humiliated. I was not spanked by the babysitter, I was beaten and used for sexual gratification. I was not disciplined for...

I suppose I’m coming to terms with the fact that my father was also my abuser because of his direct actions against me. And by ignorance and minimizing, my mother abetted this. It’s funny that a proclaimed “no spanking household” would raise a daughter with some serious issues around abuse and...

I think I see what you are trying to say. And that is I was beaten and it was called a spanking by the man because he was hitting my bottom, but what he was doing was nowhere near harmless. And if I told an adult they would hear "spanking" not "life changing beating." However, would you still...

When I was growing up, both of my parents were loving, yet incredibly inconsistent and at times explosive. Especially during the very early years through elementary school. They never really spanked us except a couple of swats which I thought were unfair because they were out of anger or done in...