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I felt your pain Loloma when readying your post . I too am in that place with what homes looks like to me . I left home when I was 11 years old and went through group homes and a foster home . Now I am 34 years old , and to this day I still long for a home that is full of love and healing . I...

I wish I could do the same thing trustno1 . Unfortunately , I learned the hardway and have come to the conclusion that I will probably never see them reach out and repair the damage they have done as a result of them not leaving me . Instead I will only be reminded of hurt they caused me.

Hi. So recently my girlfriend and I did a survey that her counsellor suggested. It was called the 5 love languages . So I learned that physical touching, quality time , and words of affirmation were my top 3. So I been thinking about these three needs and why I am so desperate and dire to...

Feeling Nothing

Grateful for a new family that loves me unconditionally and prays for me daily .

Worked on my guitar scales , arpeggios , and a Christmas carol Other than that , stayed in bed .

I haven't posted in a while now . I am doing okay . Just that I needed to take time away and process a lot of negative emotions . Recently I got an email from a sibling which really bothered me and triggered a lot of unpleasant memories . I am also dealing with a lot of anger and confusion...

So this afternoon I was trying to get some guitar practice in and after 10 minutes I walked away . During my practice I felt that my mind was racing and also elsewhere making it difficult to focus . Have any of you experienced this ? I wanted to continue but I couldidn't focus . I also wonder...

So since my counselling session , it has been good that I am spending less time on activities that contributed to my trauma . I also started noticing this morning that I still need to grieve . Need to grieve the profound losses I have experienced the last 30 years . I don't know what that...

I too have been through this with my own family as well . I was raised to become a people pleaser and that people pleasers are not allowed to have boundaries and must love everyone . I am very proud of you for starting to set boundaries , as that will help you to self care/ love your self .

So at my last counselling session , my therapist and I went to two traumatic events in my past and the results were encouraging . The first one was about my brother being ganged up and had I was powerless to do anything about it because the guys that were beating him up were far bigger than me...

So as some of you are aware , I am an aspiring classical music composer , and that I am apart of non profit multi interdisciplinary arts organization . I would like to express myself primarily through classical music composition . What I mean by expression is , what I go through on daily...

I get rid of the video games . Not because they bring flashbacks but mainly because I was forced to play them; it was a family culture . I've also spoken to my counsellor in our therapy sessions about trying to find healthy outlets that can help me deal with the trauma from my past . He...

Hi . I was wondering if any of you view PTSD as a never ending cycle of events that triggers you to attempt to change your life by trying to change your daily schedule . For the last 2 years , I been going through a cycle of cancelling my internet , filling my daily schedule to avoid being at...

I like to give thanks for all the replies. It is very comforting to me that I can be honest here , and receive good suggestions and feedback. I think I need to lower my expectations and try to find jog in the small good things; I admit that has been hard and especially when you lack...

I honestly wish I could say that I cope with my feeling tippy in a good positive way. For the most part however, I usually can only cope by trying to get through the day by wasteing mindless hours on my desktop with video games, or by hiding in my bed. Sure I have tried to find new ways in...

Paralyzingly fear Pain Shame Distrust Chronic emptiness Abandonment Avoidance

This morning a thought came to me that had been consistent with me since childhood . I was born without joy . I was born into a family of pain , abuse , manipulation , violence and death . Throughout this life , I have experienced joy rarely , but it has happened . Yet the joy I have...

Thanks . To answer your question, yes I have a therapist that I have been seeing for almost 2 years .

So I have realized that I am survivor and have pretty much lived as one . I only made it this far because of my coping mechanisms . Unfortunately , most of my coping skills are very unhealthy and have never had made any positive results . Then I look at my passions . Which I wonder , does...

I am thankful for making it to the workman arts building and practicing my pieces , scales and arpeggios for 2 hours today. The workman arts is a multi disciplinary arts mental health organization that I am a member of :)

I think it is safe to say that from what resulted with me from childhood that I am a PTSD Survivor. Everyday I feel my mind is often in a cycle of torment from all the abuse I went through as a child. I also have to say that I don't believe I will ever fully recover from what happen. The best I...

I really didn't sleep well. Lots of intense negative emotions . I even recall screaming with intense hatred

I did well on my music theory and ear training/ rhythm exercises with my guitar teacher today .

There has been some inner peace today at home . I am going to try and incorporate my guitar practice every morning from 9:30 am to 12:30 pm on a daily basis.There has been some inner peace today at home . I am going to try and incorporate my guitar practice every morning from 9:30 am to...