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That's an important point, I think. I grew up with erratically enforced rules that made no sense for my age, and I was punished. Now, I get afraid of being punished. My therapist reminds me over and over that I won't get punished if I make a mistake. I will not get in trouble.

Glad you are here. Writing about my PTSD and dissociation here have been really helpful for both my healing and in learning to be more open about who I am.

I find that the fear becomes its own reality, in the sense that I can be with someone who I know is absolutely safe, but I know if I get closer, the fear will come in, and I run away. Not running away is a good step! For me, I first started to get better when I could imagine safer places and...

I don't have DID exactly (no amnesia, and not a lot of dissociative fog), but my therapist says I have a dissociative disorder. We haven't tried to pin it down further. But I do have a big system of parts--about 10 or 11. Some are only around a little bit. Others I've known about for a long...

I think talking this through with your therapist is a great idea, and I'm glad you feel comfortable doing so! A couple of thoughts come to mind: Running and exercise, for most of us, are calming, giving us a little high, but not leading to obsession. If you're going to write stories, my...

Bryce Canyon National Park. My family loved visiting there a few years ago.

The person who dismissed the trauma the most was me! I have had therapists earlier in my life who did not recognize that I had PTSD, and there were some lost years there. I also have a dissociative disorder. Because of my high level of functioning, it took me a long time to accept that. I...

I don't have nightmares. I'm highly functional at work. I have a family. But I also have C-PTSD and deep seated terrors. There were some obvious traumas later in life, but I am certain that the key trauma was emotional neglect. Early neglect can be just as hard a trauma as many more overt...

I am trying to imagine how we can possibly go back to in person sessions in the foreseeable future. When we are doing intense EMDR work, I go through a big pile of tissues. Tears and mucus flowing quite a lot. It's hard to see, how in a tiny office, we could keep the virus from flying about...

My daughter and I watched The Band Wagon, a 1950s musical with Fred Astaire and Cyd Charisse. Their dance in the park was magical. Mrs. W is watching The Blacklist, which is too frightening to me.

Congratulations! This is a good and wonderful step.

Pita bread, stuffed first with roasted corn & chickpeas, and on top of that a chopped salad of cucumbers, tomatoes, onion, parsley, and vinaigrette. Tzatziki on top!

It is hard for me to be close to people, outside of my family. My therapist suggests that I disclose a little, get a little closer, just with new friends, and see how that goes. With some people, I shut down, but with others, this approach has worked. Finding what we can tolerate, and working...

There's a new side effect of therapy. Glad you caught it early! I'm lucky that my body has an immediate and painful reaction as soon as a tick bites me, so the few I've had I've gotten off me quickly.

Maybe it would be useful to imagine what the sessions would feel like if you or he changed the format or how he does the sessions? And do that without feeling constrained about what the sessions have to look like? I'm reminded of @Rainman8772 posting about doing a virtual session while...

I am in an unusual situation--my therapist started filming our sessions just before the pandemic for the purpose of making training videos. (I'm fully supportive, and there was no pressure on me.) But, to the point of this thread, I have no desire to watch the resulting videos of myself...

I get up early enough to take an hour walk each morning, going to the same peaceful creek each day. That is a good time for me to process if there are any parts inside who are upset. I see my therapist by video. I make a schedule of things I want to do each day (fun stuff, work stuff, home...

It's hard when you can't connect, and I can see how that makes it worse. I hope you find a path to some peace.

Whole wheat toast, with a spread of guacamole on top, and then black beans smashed into the guac.

Pulled up some weeds and dug out a bed that I like to put zinnias in. Now, I have to find some zinnias, or maybe Mrs. W will order seeds.

That's why it's special that you were able to do it. It's very hard for me, too.

I needed to find a safe space. I thought of a creek near my home that has little foot traffic near it. Each morning this week, I get up early enough to do the one hour walk there and back. When I'm at the creek, it is a place to watch the water, listen to the birds, hear the rush of the...

I've been stuck before, for extended times. Switching back, for me, requires finding a safe place for the one who is upset, and finding a way for them to express the hurt they feel, and finding a way to talk. It can be hard to get all of that together. Grounding exercises help. Finding a...

It is wonderful that you asked, and wonderful that you came back!

Sending warm thoughts your way! I like your presence and words and conversations with others here on the forum. I like your photos.