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I'm awake. I'm tired. I feel lacking. What have I accomplished in the last week? Wtf? My sleep pattern is screwed. It's probably my fault somehow. I need to get my life in order. I WILL have a life. I will have order. I will be something.

Thanks :-) Bonus: Champagne AND a lunar eclipse here!

4.25 years ago, I woke up. I finally admitted to myself and a friend that I was dangerously depressed, miserable, and stuck. Within 24 hours, my life simply aligned for me to pack and leave in 10 days. Within those 10 days, I spoke to my parents. I told them I was leaving college, tried to...

haha! Go me! f*ck yes! So.... this morning I had the idea that, being the anniversary of the police department calling to tell me that my sexual assault had been "regrettable, but nonetheless consensual" because there wasn't "a definitive enough no" in my story, I should write to them. I created...

Big thanks to all of you. :-) I had wondered if some Muay Thai would help, but after the last big flare-up on Tuesday, I've been exhausted. I'll try to make myself get up & work out first thing in the morning. And glad it's not just me. Today I had a moment of anger... But it was much smaller...

Your children are still SO YOUNG! Their brains are still rapidly evolving, don't worry about anyone's "disposition" at so young an age. I promise. They do need you, so stick around. You need a new therapist, I believe as well. My first therapist (not about suicide) was awkward about my...

So lately I've had a pretty (I think) new symptom. I know the book I'm reading addresses it a bit, though I need to probably do more reading... but I've had days or moments lately where I am just suddenly full of rage. It's so difficult. Especially since I teach. Moments where my students don't...

Like many others, mine isn't simple, but taken a different way the first answer applied to me. I was abused through childhood into my adult years (though moving & having a protective distance helped a lot), then I don't doubt that the straw that went all of my symptoms spiraling was a sexual...

I have PTSD, and at times I can be triggered by actions from my partner. But unless he's doing something intentionally cruel (which he's not), it's not my place to blame him. If I can walk up behind him and put my arms around him, seems fair he could do the same, but if I don't see him walk up...

I feel like overall, I'm not as productive as I once was, and that's frustrating. But I still accomplish as much as or more than many average people on many to most days. Despite my symptoms being worse lately as I work in therapy, I own & run a business, have a healthy dog, a relationship, and...

Good news is while my day just started, I'm feeling tired but overall much better. The only 2 things I can think of are the book on tape in my car (which I enjoyed), or that it may be the anniversary of being told by the police that in their eyes, "there wasn't a definite enough no in [my]...

All day... Rage & panic. No idea why. Still teaching, trying to control. So scared. So quick tempered. So... Something. Shaking.

I still have days where I just can't have sex, but other times I really enjoy it. But like @Em C. said, work up to it. Don't be in a hurry. Work on just physical contact first, almost like you're exploring each other like young adults... Be open to finding out what YOU enjoy (different for...

Check your policy's rates for therapy. It won't make your premium go up, but you should know the out-of-pocket costs listed for visits under your policy. Then just make sure the therapist accepts your insurance.

So... My two cents: If you want therapy for you, that should be your choice only. My father often wasn't involved in activities, we did them anyway. Sometimes it was easier for my dad to do a quiet one-on-one with one of us kids, a "date with dad." My mom was the more adventuring one, so we...

The restlessness, exhaustion, and inability to sleep is back, along with the bizarre and unpleasant dreams. Hooray. Fun times. Hello, coffee. I know I must be looking tired when the bf is telling me to get some sleep, since it's usually the other way around. I suppose I'll try to listen.

Hello! Welcome :-)

I have PTSD, so I can only imagine it from your end. I am endlessly grateful for having an understanding partner (even if he doesn't always actually understand what the hell is going on with me. To be fair, there are plenty of moments when I don't know what's going on with me). *hugs* It's not...

First off, love this random bit of nerdjoy. Also, welcome :-) Abuse, in my experience, was never text-book. I spent part of today upset because I listened to some podcasts about PTSD and they'll list off that physical and sexual abuse can be a factor, but never, ever, EVER mention emotional...

Thanks for sharing. I would really recommend a therapist outside the family, that objective listener & point of view can be very helpful. I've had memories surfacing from my own childhood lately (different kind of not pretty), and it's really difficult. Help managing things can make a big...

I teach and far too often see parents who ( despite being home and having the time) hire a nanny to pick them up from school, give them a snack, help with homework, make dinner, supervise bath time, do the laundry, etc. essentially, they spend tons of money to avoid parenting (except on the...

I can be quite callous. 22 years playing violin... I've heard many times how I made people cry, it becomes mundane. But tonight I walked over to thank a man and woman for paying for shots the band ordered (100th residency show), and the girl'a eyes went wide, she flung her arms around my neck...

I sent an e-mail to the tattoo artist whose work I liked best in Town. Fingers crossed. I really am ready for my phoenix. Some... Promise to myself, that I will keep getting up. We'll see how she responds. I'm hoping she can understand my vision, since I can't find a picture like what I want...

If love is a factor... Some honest about hesitance may be necessary. Some days I can walk in, have some worries & enjoy sex. But there are certainly nights where my partner wants sex, I enjoy sex & wish I could, but sometimes I know I just can't handle it. It's hard, but he's been very...

Would lights help? Sometimes when I have a hard time, having the lights on or daytime sex where I can see my partner's face helps.