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Yes, I agree. He may just be making the correlations between your mother and your experiences, now. Interesting about your mother's behavior regarding her own mother. Your mother likely developed her behavior during her own upbringing, which makes me wonder if your mother had some deep-down...

I have NOT been getting updates for your diary. :shifty: That's my excuse. Well, I'm late to this, and Eleanor already said most of what I would have said already, and probably better. You said it yourself -- your mother doesn't mean to do any harm. This is the way she is. Regardless...

These different parts may seem incompatible, but they're all still you. No one has just one facet to their personality; that would make for a very one-dimensional person, no? Thus, I think it's perfectly reasonable for you to have a part of you that wants to go relax and talk, and another part...

It is frustrating; but you're being way too hard on yourself. :) No matter what issues you're having, you're probably still far more productive than the average person, in reality. Also, your mother's judgmental attitude is not helping. She has no right to sit there and judge you, accuse you...

Yup, this is a good one. The bane of my existence. ;) I try to assign priorities. With regard to family, this would be my kids, then my elders; but if someone is ill, then that person might become a priority -- no matter what else was planned. If your mother can't understand this, or won't...

Uh, er, um, had a little setback on progress, lately. You might find wiser investments for your pennies.

Well said. I need to do the same exact things. Maybe I could save the trouble and live vicariously through you? ;)

Like everyone else here has said, there's nothing wrong with wanting things; and regret is natural when you've missed-out on things. I have dealt with a lot of regret, and still have more to process. The main thing is not to let it consume you. As others have said, it's just another form of...

You're doing the right thing. As I've often been told in therapy, adults are responsible for dealing with life's ups and downs, including disappointment. Plus, you have kids to attend to. It's so easy, at our age, to get caught between the still-dependent children, and the ever-increasingly...

This has been one of the most difficult things for me to accept. Can't say I've been very successful at it, so far, but at least I'm no longer actively pushing it away. It's hard to start accepting this because it means you have to make yourself vulnerable, emotionally -- and, for people who...

Sending lots of support and positive energy. Remember to be kind to yourself. You can't easily control whether you have flashbacks or not -- illness is illness, whether it be that of your loved-one or yours. Both deserve consideration. Do you have any family friends that could assist y'all...

This is one of the items I lament -- that, if I could just think clearly, consistently, I'd be able to solve this same problem for my kids, while being able to maintain an income. My kids don't fare well under our narrowly-focused school methodologies either. Your son will be moving onto...

Congratulations! Bikes are cool. :cool: Except when used by teenagers to escape obligations. I laughed in sympathy at this -- this is a frequent occurrence with both my kids. They don't usually take-off on their bikes, but use other means to avoid whatever they don't feel like doing, or...

Amazing that it's the HR folks who are so unsupportive. I remember that, when my PTSD first started to appear, I just wanted to take some time to deal with the anxiety and pain, but couldn't. And I thought to myself, how awful that the world of employment often makes no accommodation for being...

My therapist constantly reiterates to me that, if possible, processing must be managed -- meaning that you take control, to the degree possible, of how much emotional malaise you can tolerate, and when it can occur. Has your therapist talked to you about this possibility? She has actually said...

I think this is absolutely true. On my non-kid weekends, though, I engage in a mixture of alternate responsibilities (all the crap I couldn't do when I had my kids) and dissociation from being so burned-out. I do try to journal, and I am more likely to get communication from my "inners", but...

Pretty profound insight. There is a type of mourning that occurs, I think, over such realizations -- growing pains. But I've found that it actually feels good to be able to mourn, grieve -- something I never let myself do in the past. It's a type of relief, after which, you'll be more able to...

As you said, you need to talk to your therapist -- if for no other reason, to get some peace of mind by sharing these episodes with someone who can give you some knowledgeable feedback. This has got to be damned scary. When I first started trauma therapy, I was shocked at the darkness that...

Is it possible that he hasn't changed all that much, but you have? As you've gotten older and more independent, maybe he's become less comfortable that you are no longer that child that can guided and shaped. Maybe that was OK when you were 12, but less so when 22, and increasingly less so...

Hope. Optimism. A positive desire for the instinctual human need of love and acceptance. All of these are good things, things that make you a good person. :) Whether your mother can meet these needs or not doesn't invalidate these needs, nor the sincere effort you've made to connect with her.

Regardless of anything else that the OP posted, these two sentences answer the question in her subject line. According to her post, she had never had a physical relationship with this person; therefore, why would he expect that grabbing and disrobing a woman he is not in a relationship with is...

Wow. If nothing else, you can be extraordinarily proud of him. If, at his age, he can pull-off directing something like that, he has the potential for one hell of a career ahead of him. You should also be proud of yourself for enduring the play, as difficult as it was. :)

Funny... I was going to say something about the fact that, as you start to assert your own identity, needs, and boundaries, you start feeling like the most selfish and narcissistic person in the world. :D Which isn't surprising, because we've always learned that doing anything for ourselves...

Yup, this is the ultimate catch-22 -- we desperately desire love, but don't feel we even deserve it. The is the fundamental negative feedback loop that makes everything so difficult. As we learn, over time, to be more compassionate with ourselves and our histories, we hopefully start to feel...

Fantastic!!! I bet these kudos made you feel good. :) Yes, yes, yes! That's my analogy for this! You're the only other person I know who's come-up with the same thing! :) Here is the sad but likely truth: there's no point in trying to reason with her, explain things to her, and, worst of...