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Thank you for being here... and please go of you need to... I'd hate for cat not to get her beloved crunches or you to have a delayed dinner!!

Yes I am in bed and haven't been able to move much...I know I need to get up and move around...a warm sage tea is what I'll prob do when I can shake enough of this off to get up

5pm is defo cat dinner time.... you'd better make her a priority!!

Oh this is so warming to see..I love i love animals... they are gorgeous... and very ying and yang! Cat doesn't look impressed right now 🤣

It's 1am... I'm in the UK... what time is it for you? I'm guessing 7pm?

Thanks for replying @Rose White ...I didn't think anyone was there... dinner for me was about 7 hours ago now... but I had fish and veg... wasn't very hungry tonight..... what will you have?

Is anyone there right now? I'm coming out of a flashback and just need someone to be there... ti talk about anything... not sure if I can use this thread like this... but don't know what else I can do

Exactly what @Sideways said... Nothing you did was abnormal... you haven't done anything wrong... but given how much this seems to be bothering you, I'd go talk it through with someone in confidence - a professional is best and preferably one not affiliated with the church, just to ensure...

Kind of predictable of a T! Although actually my T never got me to think that and I have to say, it's been really useful me imagiing my neice being in my position... I hope it helped you going through that process... seems like it has? You seem fairly level headed about it! Yes sometimes it's...

Yes this was something I've spoken with T about. Initially I didn't think he had any responsibility in it simply because he was a child. Having worked through with T why that isn't the case, I do now accept he had some level of responsibility/ culpability. Not the same as an adult. But some...

Thanks @Ubergirl ... sometimes a simple sentence can stick out at you and you go 'Yeah, that's how it was'. And that's validating. 🙏 I have a few different aged parts who carry shame. Some as young as 2/3. I have parts which carry shame from separate csa events in my life, nothing to do with...

I guess only by being taught about it explicitly? I've read about this a bit. In today's society in the UK, there's a push for parents (rightly so) to be teaching children about bodily boundaries. About what difficult feelings are and when and how to say no. I've even found and read books to...

I don't want to go too off topic here so will just say this quickly. Wanted to ask you @Midnightmoon if you know about the potential for being referred to various NHS funded dissociative disorder assessment/ treatment clinics in the UK (funding depends on your local commissioning body)? There...

Me too.

So interesting.... and sooo complex .. it's just all such a head f*ck ... So I guess what we're saying is, all trauma has the capacity to change the person's identity on some level... whether that be never allowing it to develop healthily in the first place, or by breaking it even if it was...

I have a very basic understanding of this topic (really interesting thread btw). So please don't read too much into what I say - just thinking out loud. And I may be waaaaay off. But I've come to think of the broad difference between PTSD and CPTSD in terms of developmental identity trauma...

Thanks @sidptitala ... this is a good question and it's one I've pondered a few times without really fully understanding it...I do see that it doesn't serve me in many ways but there is a part of me which obviously feels it's necessary to hold on to... and I haven't totally understood why...

Yeah absolutely and imo what you've said here applies to all 8-12 year olds... Thank you @scout86 that means alot... sometimes going through stuff so openly on posts (which I'm doing more and more) feels a bit like shooting myself in the foot, for the feelings it stirs up and the opportunity...

Thanks @scout86 ... interesting to hear different people's views... I'm in agreement that it's not normal. I'm pretty set that, for kids of any of those ages I gave, it isn't normal to be having sex with each other and that if they are, there's been a crack in either or both of their up...

Disconnected With everything and everyone around you

Ok I have thought about this before with a former T. That was her take on it as well. I found it hard to reason that my parents were at fault. My dad lived somewhere completely different at the time. Though given his track record as a father , if he'd have lived with us at the time, it would...

Ah ok thanks for clarifying.. yes that makes sense... No not at all..I don't see that as derailing... it's all the same thing... discussing these things is important to see how we're not alone... If you feel comfortable only though..

Yes, tutus and bozo slippers, whip and chair handy... brilliant... she needs to be lower than me... and she also needs humiliating, as she liked do to me, as a form of entertainment... maybe she needs to jump through the ring a few times... Thank you for offering this perspective...I can see...

Thanks for saying this...I have seen posts written about cocsa here where I can see others' well- meaning posts have glossed over or down played the issues at play... none of us have the exact experience of others here - always parallels... but it's important we don't claim to know more about...

yes I know this well. It's a never ending loop. It won't ever get you anywhere. It's very destructive... I think this is crucial... it has been for me... when I've been at my worst, this thought pattern has been at the centre of everything... it is really worth while jumping out of it and...