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I haven't followed this whole thread so I don't know the back story and will only be addressing this part. I broke up with my sufferer at the very beginning of our relationship for 9 months. We work in the same industry and ran into each other a lot (at least once a week but up to 10 times a...

Congratulations on discussing the next step in your relationship! I am glad you brought this up because this is something I anticipate discussing eventually. I always think about premarital counseling as a way to ensure that you and your partner are on the same path in life. You have the same...

Not sure if this is in my direction or not....but I totally understood that from your original post. Made perfect sense! No need for apologies. My comment was more....get out of first responding before he gets sucked into it for his mental wellbeing. Nothing will stimulate that part of the...

I went through this with my boyfriend about a year or two into our relationship. He was a recon infantry Marine. He was (and still is) trying to find "purpose". The closest he's come to finding that "purpose" is being a paramedic. Since he had a ton of combat training and experience and then...

Lots of great ideas here! His email was completely an explanation. My vet does that all the time. I have given up on communication with him during his work week. I try, but I accept that my texts usually go unanswered. But we live together to I do actually get to see and lightly interact with...

What does your gut tell you? Me and my guy had some issues with breaking up and getting back together. Before we got back together I made my position very clear and told him he had to be sure that he was agreeable to all my "demands" including that we are not to invade each other's digital...

@Zachary Rowland That's a tough situation you have on your hands. Like others have already said, you don't really have a say in your wife's acceptance of her CPTSD or her decision to get treatment. That part is her journey. And I can speak from experience when I say that it completely sucks...

Hahahaha, yes you can throw it in. The supporters usually use the "PTSD or ass" thing to decide is this a decision he has control over or not. We definitely understand there's grey, but sometimes it helps to make it black or white so that its easier for us to make the boundaries we need to make...

You're not "just a spouse"! I greatly appreciate your input too! I am pretty terrible at this in his eyes....but since I am a first responder, better at it than most. But the key is being terrible at it in his eyes. Maybe we come up with something like this if this is in fact what's going...

Totally get that! Its not a battle buddy. All his are dead or off-grid unfortunately. But, I don't know if these EMS buddies are his new "battle buddies". Totally get this too. But he and I are both EMS so we see the same things at work and talk the same in that regard. And the thing I am...

Just wanting to hear from sufferers about what its like going out. My honey doesn't go out often. When he does, its usually a birthday for a close friend, so its important to him to be there for them and he just deals with the stress (usually by drinking heavily). So, in light of that mindset...

This thread is hitting hard for me. I never wanted kids. When I had a really late period I found out my boyfriend really wanted them and everything changed for me. Now I want them. But as far as I can tell I don't want kids....I want HIS kids. And I used to really see that happening one day...

What makes you say it will be better? If I remember correctly he's in therapy, right? Remember that with therapy its going to get worse (potentially for years) before it gets better. Keep that in mind. But if you're talking about the mindset change you possibly towards everything....then yes...

Yes. Mine did. But here we are 3 months later...living together as if that conversation never happened. Hard to say without asking him. I'd say your best bet is to follow his lead. His actions will tell you what his words didn't. Sounds like he's isolating right now. He will reach out to you if...

Read your own words: With ANY relationship (PTSD or not) if your needs are not met.....you owe it to yourself to move on. Now, of course you should first communicate that with your partner of what you feel you're missing. Even better if you could give an example of what happened and a better...

This is not a good plan. You are a human in this relationship and have needs too. Why do you want to bury your feelings?

Glad to hear I've done something "right". Though I usually keep a straight face and ask "is there anything else you have to say/want to share?" "No." "Ok. What do you want for dinner?" @Orangesfrompears the references make sense....but I don't follow if he's diagnosed and in treatment etc? Are...

I know I have read a lot of your posts but I can't remember your story exactly. This comment is to this quote only. I don't think this is a "he'd rather" situation. To me, that reads more like he's taking the path of least resistance. Admitting he needs help, asking for help, and going through...

If you do pursue this relationship.....it is very likely that this is how you will feel ALL the time.

Yes! Disengage! In my relationship, more often than not whatever it was comes up once in that moment and then its over. For example, we have an unspoken divide of house chores....his domain is bathroom, I have the kitchen, and we share the living room and bedroom. Now we both still wipe up each...

Why do you want to argue? What is your goal in having an argument? Are you trying to relay a message? That's not going be productive in an "argument". Are you frustrated and just need to vent? Go ahead and express that, but if it won't be satisfying if you don't "win" then its a crapshoot. I...

Oh my gosh I totally feel your frustration! There's also the whole thing when he suggests doing x, y, or z and seems miserable the whole time and I'm screaming in my head "you hate this! Why are we here! I don't even care about this activity!" I've sort of chalked it up to those are things he...

Depends what level of unable to sleep he's at. If he feels like he has a chance of going back he'll stay in bed and scroll facebook/play games on his phone quietly if I'm asleep. If he's in bed alone then he'll turn on Twitch or netflix for background noise. If he knows sleep isn't happening...

:O_o: huh? :hug::hug::hug:

I don't have any words of wisdom. My honey doesn't hide his PTSD from anybody so I will imply it if I get the third degree ....but only if I can't shrug it off another way. And he is a first responder so saying he's working is believeable (and usually true since he works weekends....on purpose)...