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Hmm ok. But whats the treatment? I dont need medications I believe. I can maybe learn to handle the problem a little better, but I want to solve this myself by working with my thought processes.

Maybe it is just anxiety and mistrust, but last time at my therapist office I got the feeling that my therapist was indicating I got schizophrenia. I do not think he was indicating it deliberately, but several of the things he said and asked for pointed in that direction. I know a little about...

I have not told my therapist that I occasionally have some sexual intrusive thoughts. These thoughts tends to appear when I am close to someone physically (not very close, but at least in the same room). It does not happen very often, but in therapy quite a lot. Once in a while these thoughts...

Does anybody here suffer from bad "self-talk" that seems to be totally out of your control sometimes? These thoughts have become a huge problem for me, as they are intrusive. Its like I can not control them coming, but I can try to correct the thoughts afterwards. Seems difficult, though...

I like what you write here very much. And I think it is essential. I hope I will fully understand this someday soon and integrate it in my "system". Thank you for your insights and tips.

Yes I recognise the feeling of mixing these things up. I know I want the mother she front herself as in "public" much more than I want the mother I grew up with. I want my mother to be "good" so that I and my siblings have a good mother. I have to learn how to deal with the fact that she is what...

Exactly. It is hard to comes to term with. My mother has managed to "cover" her mistakes up, talking about other parents misbehaving in front of their children, when she in fact was much worse. Or being the "perfect" grandmother giving me good advices on how to be a mum. The advices were good...

Thank you for your reply. I know it is not my job to fix her, or that I cant.. I keep wanting to put her in a box, define her; either good or bad. So I know how to deal with her and relate. And I try to avoid "the bad", because it hurts too much. Her signals to the world outside of our house...

I have been in therapy for the last 7 months or so. We have talked a lot about my mother, which also was my abuser. I have asked my self, is she a psychopath, is she a narcissist? I don`t know, and I will perhaps never now. I am starting to accept that I will not fully understand her or her...

Thank you for the link. I agree with you - I think self-compassion is the key to many problems (for me anyway). I notice how I can talk myself into a "self-hate" state where it is very dark. My inner voice is also creating "catastrophes" in my head. So I have begun practising good self-talk, but...

If you are not comfortable with giving her the gift, you should not do it. Listen to yourself, not your mum. I would never consider giving my therapist a gift - even though I like him and he is helpful. I pay enough for therapy as it is... Tell your therapist you are grateful instead - if you...

This is just like me a few months ago. I still feel tired and exhausted a while after therapy, but not like before. I am more present in therapy also. We have not worked on "grounding techniques" - I think dissociation can be helpful, it is there for a reason. As I became more aware of my...

And to you! There are always good chances of getting better. So I`ve learned.

Facial expressions are good thing. To begin with I also appreciated his empathy - I needed to feel like I was not alone with my feelings and thoughts. But now I just need someone to see my strengths and not my problems.

It is interesting to hear a break was the right thing for you, and your thoughts about it. I think I will go back for another session, see how it feels. Tell him I dont want to talk about my childhood any more and that it is becoming to much. Than maybe tell him I need sometime to think before...

*I guess it is NOT my natural response to ask about it...

Hmm...I guess it is natural response to ask about it his expressions and reactions, but I will certainly think about it.

Ok. I see what you mean. Maybe it is difficult to just "wrap" things up and furthermore expect life to go on as before I started therapy. I sometimes regret I started therapy, but at the time it also felt like I had no choice. I still like the idea working on "here and now stuff". I will...

I have been thinking about it, and I dont know. Maybe I am afraid he does not believe I will get a job and manage to work. I dont like his worried expressions. We talked about my mother, maybe touched some new aspects. We talked about my father - I think my therapist is trying to explore my...

I dont know. It is so difficult getting a job, I cant be beaten down if I am going to manage it.

I am aware that I might be afraid and trying to avoid certain aspects. But maybe I need that now? Need to avoid more problems to arise - I am afraid it will be too much for me right now.

I don`t know how long a break actually. Maybe just a few months. Until I get a job and get settled in it. I have not thought about that actually - maybe it is a good idea actually;)

I started therapy this summer, since I kind of "hit a wall". I was in despair, and stuff from childhood started to affect me. In therapy I`ve been talking about my trauma and my life as unemployed. At one point I started to notice, that I during sessions, found myself in a "half dissociated...

I am pretty new in therapy, but I think the most important so far has been empathy, acceptance and that he urges me to take myself seriously.

I think it has helped me alot writing about this stuff here. Now I feel more calm - since you all state that memories will come when they come. If there are any and if they will come at all. I am not sure if I will bring this up in therapy yet. Maybe I will stick with your option nr. 2, @Chava...