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@ladee , I know you're right. I know I'm at the beginning of this and that it's going to get worse. I know I'm being a whiny baby and I have no right to be as upset as I am. I know none of this is about my T. I teach math for a living and he's just a variable, a stand in. I could start...

Yeah, I definitely don't think he sees me clearly. I think I've put on a pretty good show for him for months. I can see the logic behind this. My T practices person-centered therapy. We've never discussed it but I saw it in his bio on the HMOs webpage. When I looked up person-centered...

I don't actually think he's in it for the money. There's a lot of easier jobs out there that make more money, if we're being honest, than being a therapist. I don't do things for my students just because I get paid for it. I genuinely enjoy helping them. It's probably the same for him...

I was having a good day. I really was. I was laughing and joking with my students and getting things done. Then the random thoughts that creep in when I've spent too long focusing on too many things started to creep in. I talked to L for a long while. She got at the root of the issue...

Today was a busy day. I was supposed to get observed this morning but my administrator forgot about me. I'm trying not to take it personally. All day long kids were bugging me about their grades (everyone wants an A). I kept telling them to see me after class so we could talk. They all just...

Well, I went to group therapy tonight. Not a lot of people were there, maybe due to the election. I spend a lot of time in either of my groups worrying about talking too much. It finally happened that I was shushed tonight. My T was nice about it but for some reason, I still feel like crap...

Today was the IOP group. It was pretty good I guess, not as amazing as last week. I asked the question this week of how to keep going with therapy when it's getting hard. According to Google, it's common for people to want to quit when it gets hard so I thought maybe someone else would have...

I do think that childhood trauma creates a sense of perfectionism in some of us. I know for me, I strive to be truly perfect. I think it's because I thought I could earn my mother's love by being this high achiever. For me, I was an excellent student, won awards, and always excelled at...

Well, now I'm pissed. I got the session notes from the Urgent Care therapist and they were somewhat inaccurate. It literally named someone as my psychiatrist who is my therapist for one of my therapy groups and says that I don't suffer from any anxiety. She didn't even discuss half of the...

So I spoke with the urgent care therapist. I didn't like her at first but she grew on me. She suggested that maybe I try to focus on the concrete things that are bothering me like getting work done for school. Maybe easing some of the guilt over things not getting done will make the battle a...

Your post really speaks to me because it's something that I struggle with too. I'm just at the beginning of my journey with trauma- been in denial and repressed a lot of memories. Then, something happened and my glass dome holding back the shadows shattered. I consciously knew some of these...

Well, my therapy hangover is just not going away. Actually, it's getting worse. I played a game with friends last night for a few hours. I watched some comedians and had a few good laughs. I'm trying to distract myself where I can but as soon as the distraction is gone, the feelings come...

Three months ago my life was a lot simpler. I was a person who suffered from depression and anxiety- common, easily treatable conditions that most people can learn to manage. Then I figured out I have some massive trauma lurking beneath the surface. Trauma that likely shaped most of who I am...

Still kind of reeling from therapy from yesterday but I'm feeling a little bit better about my verbal diarrhea from yesterday. A part of me wants to figure out how to never do that again and a part of me knows I need to do it at least more often. It's such a strange thing to be of two minds...

@Freida , I have been seeing this T for about nine months. He's been really patient with me. He's been incredibly supportive and kind. I'm still just having trouble opening up. So much came out of my mouth. @Survivor3 , good to know my feeling is normal and that it will ultimately be a part...

Well, I had my therapy session. I'm really struggling with it. I feel both relieved and worse. My mind is such a mess. My T brought up some of my transference issues. He seemed completely fine with them. If I'm being 100% honest, he's probably picked up clues for awhile. We didn't get too...

I'm getting ready for my big appointment with my T (it's in 45 minutes) and I'm still unsure of what is going to come out of my mouth. I actually did sleep well last night, which is good and surprising. Usually before things like this I stress all night and go in and out of sleep. I really do...

Today has been a rough day. A friend of mine died last night from Covid-19. I found out about twenty minutes before group therapy. Needless to say, I was not in a good mind space in group therapy tonight. Then, tonight's topic was on core beliefs. I know my core beliefs are massively messed...

I had the realization today that my first period class is really adorable. They seem so sweet and genuine. But, due to distance learning, I don't know what any of them look like. And I realized that since it is unlikely my school will return to the buildings this year that they are a group of...

I got some school work done today, which is good. I've been able to keep my mind a bit more focused on current events throughout the day, which is also good. I've also made peace with my upcoming T appointment and finally confirmed the appointment. I finally made the decision to follow...

The world is quiet this morning but my mind is not. My husband is sleeping peacefully but I've been awake for hours. It's sort of amazing really how much I've changed in the last month. A month ago I was completely obsessed with my job. I worked around the clock every day to complete as much...

It's been a rough morning. One bright spot is that one of my students had asked me yesterday during class what my favorite animal is. I had to think about it but ultimately decided that I've always liked koalas. The truth is, I've always really loved animals and have a strong connection to...

My therapist recently suggested I do EMDR. I don't think I'm ready, as much as I want to be. I admire your bravery and strength with this and I hope, as difficult as it is right now, that you ultimately find healing through this.

I need directness and clear boundaries. Knowing where the lines are and what I can expect from others and what I can't. Probably clarity to help me understand the world and people around me.